Halloween Is the Only Time It's Okay For a Mother To Dress Like a Slut

It's the most wonderful time of the year … when mothers dress like vampire sluts and try to show they still have the body of a 20-year-old.

When we were all 20, it was annoying enough to watch all the girls one up themselves against the skank next door. But now, as we head off to "grown-up" holiday parties, you  have to compete with your neighbor on who still looks the hottest. It's enough to make one sling on a potato sack and just give up. And so, I offer my personal favorite sexy costumes: aka "you look like a ho" costumes. Got the balls to wear one of these and be the slut of the party? Go for it!

Shoot, buy one of the costumes below if you want to be the shock of the party. Every party needs a bad girl :-)

And remember, these are actual costumes for sale. FOR REAL!

If this thing was any shorter, it would be a belt!
Because all army personnel wear knee-high boots and skirts skimming their hoo-ha.
Subtlety is not why someone would wear this costume. Someone is getting lucky tonight… and it may not be the husband.
Remember the show "Cops" and all the women wearing fish-net stockings? Oh wait. Those were the prostitutes they were arresting.
Hello, nurse! At least you can use this costume again on dress-up night with the hubby.
The Lakers outfit seems incredibly small; however, I think the shorts were actually like that in the 70s.
Unless you are an "older" woman on the prowl as a cougar, leave this outfit for the bedroom.
This one will leave some sailor very happy.
Seriously? Do you need to hear the pick-up line about sliding down the pole?
Naught and Nice.
Brittney Spears is back, Baby.
50 Shades of Grey?
Face it. We all want to be Princess Leia
And who can resist the French Maid?

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www.muddymonkeys.me

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