- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 0
-
Sparkle (0)
"How do you get over the feeling that it is selfish to put yourself first?" I was asked this question during a self-care workshop I was facilitating. And my response? As women, we are natural caregivers and nurturers. Many of us take care of everyone else first, with every intention of taking care of ourselves too. But when all is said and done, at the end of the day we are left with no energy to do anything for ourselves but fall into bed.
Does that sound like you? On many days, that still sounds like me too! I am the mother of three teenage boys, two in high school and one in college. I have a full-time job working for someone else, I am an entrepreneur building a business, and I volunteer for our high school PTSA and a parent advisory board. How do I get over the feeling that it is selfish to put myself first? Or maybe a better question is, "How do I actually manage to put myself first?"
I realized quite some time ago that if I didn't start putting myself first, I may not be around long enough to take care of anyone. The fact is, if you are not emotionally, physically or spiritually healthy, you can't take good care of anyone else. How can you take good care of someone when you are tired, grumpy, or stressed out? If you don't love yourself first, it is very hard to truly love anyone else appropriately.
In order to put yourself first, you must love yourself first. If you love yourself, you will make the time for self-care. And if you don't make the time to do it, sometimes the time is forced upon you, for example, via a health crisis or some other event. My opportunity to focus on myself was presented to me by the universe in the form of being laid off from my job in March 2004.
I began my personal journey by feeding my mind and spirit. I read the Bible, Purpose Driven Life, and all sorts of inspirational literature. I went to church more often, because I actually had the energy. I prayed, meditated, and listened to all types of music. In addition, my new-found freedom and our family's need for replenishing our income led me to start my own business as a self-care consultant with a health and wellness company. Not only could I make money, but the self-care products I sell became a part of my own self-care routine.
The point is that when I didn't take the time to put myself first, the universe handed me a gift in the disguise of a lost job. Don't wait until you get to that point before you act. If you feel guilty spending time on self-care, take baby steps to start. If you have to, select an activity that only takes five minutes to complete. Continue to increase the time and build upon it. Let the people in your life know that spending time on yourself is important to you, and that it will actually make their lives better because you will be happier. And, if you "fall off the wagon," don't beat yourself up and don't be discouraged. There are still days when I find myself slipping down the list to last place. When that happens, I stop everything I am doing, re-prioritize, and keep on moving!
Make 2009 the year to put yourself first, and say "Happy New Year to Me!"
