Hard-Working Mom... or Hardly Working?

Exactly. We all ARE doing the best we can, whatever our circumstances. I know there is some misunderstanding or jealousy in both camps, but for the most part an understanding that it's just different. Hugs to you!

Polish Mama on the Prairie

http://polishmamaontheprairie.blogspot.com/

@PolPrairieMama

I'm a full-time working mom, and I love my job. I really do. But I would give anything to be able to stay home with my daughter.

I'm always flabbergasted when a SAHM says she feels like she's not doing enough - or feels that other people think she's not working.

Momming is the hardest job on the planet - and I think you should be applauded for making that choice.

Enjoy your kiddos at this point and don't feel guilty about it! Those years are so fleeting- I miss high chair food-flinging contests and sweet little ones cuddling up for stories and naptimes.
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer for everyone as far as working outside the home, staying at home or doing a mixture of both.

I am a full time working mom with 3 kids and I know how tough it is to manage the work you got to do as SAHM! I mean it seriously..It carries so much responsibilities. Kudos to all SAHM!..:)

btw your kids are so so cute..

Srivalli Jetti also blogs at Cooking 4 all Seasons ( http://www.cooking4allseasons.blogspot.com ) & Spice your Life! ( http://spicingyourlife.blogspot.com ) mostly about simple quick Indian recipes and Kid Friendly dishes.

Thanks for all the sweet comments! You guys rock.

Rachel lives in Indiana with her two very small, very loud, very happy children and My Poor Husband. She enjoys blogging, photography, naps, Diet Coke and drawing mustaches on pictures of her kids. You can visit her any time you want at www.poppytheblog.com

I've done both. And you're right, you're not "hardly working." You're working all the time raising amazing kids. The most stressful time of my life was being at home with my kids while trying to freelance.
I think no matter what side of the fence you're on, you wonder about the other side.
I've found a balance that works (when I ignore the dishes in the sink, the CLEAN laundry piled high in the bedroom and the clutter everywhere). I'm lucky, I know. I can work from home when needed and I love being a writer.
And there may be a time in my kids' lives when I'll need to change that and be home for them more. I hope I'll be in a situation to make that change should it happen.

I've done both. And you're right, you're not "hardly working." You're working all the time raising amazing kids. The most stressful time of my life was being at home with my kids while trying to freelance.
I think no matter what side of the fence you're on, you wonder about the other side.
I've found a balance that works (when I ignore the dishes in the sink, the CLEAN laundry piled high in the bedroom and the clutter everywhere). I'm lucky, I know. I can work from home when needed and I love being a writer.
And there may be a time in my kids' lives when I'll need to change that and be home for them more. I hope I'll be in a situation to make that change should it happen.

I've done both. And you're right, you're not "hardly working." You're working all the time raising amazing kids. The most stressful time of my life was being at home with my kids while trying to freelance.
I think no matter what side of the fence you're on, you wonder about the other side.
I've found a balance that works (when I ignore the dishes in the sink, the CLEAN laundry piled high in the bedroom and the clutter everywhere). I'm lucky, I know. I can work from home when needed and I love being a writer.
And there may be a time in my kids' lives when I'll need to change that and be home for them more. I hope I'll be in a situation to make that change should it happen.

I love this post! I have never thought that stay-at-home moms "hardly work" and would say "ditto" -- I think you're amazing for what you do. And I am so happy to see the mutual respect and admiration for each others' choices in your post and in the comments.

Cristina
Working Mom, Democrat, Patriot ( http://workingmomdemocrat.blogspot.com/ )

I couldn't agree more with your article! I am thirty years old and for much of my young adult life I worked. Hard. Sometimes two jobs + school + helping raise my younger sister who was 13 years younger than me.

Working was all I knew, so you can imagine my elation when I realized that I had the opportunity to be a SAHM when my precious daughter was born.

It was heaven! Then, months passed and I became restless. I do find myself getting stir-crazy every once in a while, and then I look at my little girl. It was by far the best decision of my life. I will have plenty of time to work in the future. I wouldn't change my life right now for a second!

Again, excellent article! :)

Hi!

What jobs do you do? It is SO hard to find something that isn't a complete scam!!

~Jellysbean

Let me just say, the grass is ALWAYS greener!
I swear I am the ONLY one of all of HS girlfriends that has always (had to) work. Most of my friends were able to stay home and raise their babies, and dang, I was envious. Those kids always had the best school projects, and I bet their moms never once had to frost cupcakes for their classroom birthday from their car in the Safeway parking lot!!
My son used to ask if it was a "work day" or "stay at home" day. What I wouldn't have traded for more "stay at home days!"
We are just doing the best we can, whatever our circumstances.
KT

Hi Family Frugal...sorry I did not include it earlier.

Here is the link to the article "Be Sure to Put Mom On Your Resume"

http://ultimateoutcasts.com/?p=1233

It was featured on Mamapedia and I found alot of women related to it.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

I can't stand bumping into old high school classmates simply because I feel like I am the only one who got married and stayed home with her children. I hear about their cars, houses, trips to Bahamas (never mind that we take trips to Poland constantly, apparently to them it's not as cool or extravagant), etc. Then, when I say that I stay home, they look at me and make comments how they wish they could sit around all day eating bonbons and watching tv with their kids in their pjs all day too. Oh, if only that were what I did.

Thank you for writing about what it's really like. I respect moms who work, but I also want some respect for choosing to stay home with them. Big pats on the back to all moms who love their kids and are just trying to do the best for them, working or stay-at-home.

I feel blessed that I can be home with my three kids. When I was pregnant with my first, I knew in my heart I wouldn't be able to do day care. I was in a pretty good position at work, climbing the ladder, and had just started making 6 figures. I worked for 16 years (yes, for real) to get my degree in marketing. And I left it all without a second thought...
Flash forward almost 5 years later, and I have the best of both worlds. I'm home with my three kids, and I run my own business out of the house. Yes, I'm up late doing work, and there are days where I feel torn in a million directions, but most days I get to contribute to the family budget, keep my own identity (and sanity) by being a business owner, yet I get to spend so much time with my kids.
I think all moms are heroes, no matter if they SAH, WAH, work out side the home, or any combination!

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I'm blogging about my quest to lose 100 pounds! Watch My Butt Shrink! A Weight Loss Blog ( http://www.watchmybuttshrinking.com )

I worked full-time until my first born son was 3. It was amazing to be doing a job that I love and being with my son (R1) nights, weekends and even some of my business trips.

Then I took a year off while I was preggo with #2 (R2). It was in that year that I realized I'm just simply not cut out for SAHMom-Ness. It's a different beast.

Now that we have R1 & R2, I'm working 20/hrs. a week and staying home with the kids 20/hrs. per week. The "perfect" mix of staying at home and of enjoying a career that is rewarding and pays bills as well.

Problem is... it's REALLY REALLY hard to do. MUCH harder than when I worked full-time & I venture to say, much harder than when I was a SAHM.

The difficulty is that it's so hard to be constantly switching gears. One day, I'm supposed to be thinking about a grocery list, my home and lego play time. The next day, I have to let all that go & FOCUS on calls, emails & details. It's been very hard.

It's the best for our family, but I am struggling to get a grip of all of it. R2 is almost a 1.5 yrs. old and it's been easier since he's been a bit more independent & not nursing anymore.

It's just hard either way. We all work so hard!

grace

www.gabbingwithgrace.com ( http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com )

to 4 kids, ranging in age from 1 1/2 to 9 1/2. I have never once, not even for one millisecond, thought of myself as hardly working. I've been home since my oldest was born and I would never change that. It has been a challenge economically, but worth every lost penny to be the one who is caring for my kids. I know that is not the right decision for every family, and I respect the various choices families make, but for us me being home works. Just because we don't get paid doesn't mean we're not working.

Alysia blogs about family life, parenting and other stuff at Michigal ( http://michigalmom.blogspot.com/ ).

Can you post a link to your article? I'd love to read that.

Being a stay at home mom is so tough I had to get myself multiple work at home mom jobs to cope ;)

Blog: Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )

( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )
Section editor & featured author: Momtastic What To ( http://www.momtastic.com/shopping )

I remember my best friend asking me "why are you paying $30,000 to adopt a child and then having/paying someone else raise him?" That prompted me to switch to working part time. I am blessed by the ability to work from home with 24/7 options from my employer. So I worked overnights for the 1st 2 years of my son's life.

I love our son with all my being but I am not cut out as a full time SAHM. We do need my income as well. Charlie loves being in school. I know we are truly blessed in having the options that we do.

I am constantly amazed by women who do both sides of the spectrum - full time working and full time SAHM.

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

I was home with my son for 2 years and it was hard on my sanity. We were both ready to do our own thing after that time together.

I think full-time moms are undervalued. I feel like working full-time is much easier. I have to limit weekend activities so that I can get things done and I would prefer to work 30 hours instead of 40. But, work is good for me and school is good for him.

I wrote a post called "Be Sure to Put Mom On Your Resume" about the value of motherhood. You learn things as a mom that no college class could ever teach.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

I'm struggling with the upcoming decision whether to go back after my 2nd, and when it comes right down to it, that's exactly my feeling.

I love my job, and don't have huge complaints about daycare, but...

...but it will hurt me deeply for someone else to raise my two kids. Because that's what it will be. What else do you call it when five days out of seven they are with me and Mr for three of 12 awake hours?

And even today, that started out grumpy and has continued with more of the same, when I feel like I haven't accomplished anything except the same old stuff like keeping the kids alive, the house (sort of) clean and food made...

I still would rather be here with them than there without them.

The Mrs ( http://www.themrs.ca ) is on maternity leave and hopes to extend it for...oh...forever. She blogs about bread, (mostly) bad kids books, grocery shopping, and things she thinks are funny.