(Hashtag) Trending, Over It

Mason jars and food served on slate.

Played out: taking pictures of food, mason jars, and food served on slate.

 

Haven’t we all had enough of…

People being addicted to Google, Wikipedia, and looking things up? Seriously, you don’t need to know everything all the time. What’s more, it’s called a smartphone because the PHONE is smart, not you. Looking up something just means you’re able to type and press enter.  

Also, can we all agree to stop 1) making so 2) many damn lists 3) about everything? The film 10 Things I Hate About You was cute back in the late 90′s when it was new and hadn’t yet morphed into an overbearing obsession. I love lists. I love babies. However, 22 Babies That Are Out To Get You is just the result of a some poor schmuck on a deadline.  What value do these lists actually add to our lives?

Abbreviating everything makes us look stupid. LOL, OMG, FML, hocho, romcom, brangelina or my personal favorite- hashtag YOLO. What the hell does that even mean? Let’s stop being lazy and use real words. I think we’ve bastardized the English language quite enough.

You know what else is overrated? Happiness, yeah it’s great and important but so are all of life’s other emotions. Life isn’t about being happy all the time; it’s about experiences even the hard ones.  Besides, how do you know happiness if you’ve never known sadness?

Documenting EVERYTHING is not wise.  The digital age is every stalker’s dream. Thanks to social media anyone and their tech-savvy mother is able to now know everything about you and your life- what you ate, where you ate, and who you ate with.  I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but, it’s annoying. People don’t really want to know every detail. Stop sharing every feeling and bowel movement, enjoy the moment you’re in and step away from the computer and/or camera.

Popularity contests should stay in high school.  Stop obsessing over how many people saw your post, commented, liked, follow you, etc. YOU ARE LOVED. Probably not by me, but by someone much more important to you and your life.  They are the people who matter, not that one girl from your chemistry class back in high school.  If you ever (god forbid) go into a coma, that girl will not be there at your bedside and you probably don’t want her to be. She will however, press like, when you post it to Facebook.

Food is great; foodies are not.  I love food.  You won’t find another person who thinks about food more or who eats as constantly as I do.  However, even I have had enough of foodies. Stop being pretentious and eat something. What’s more, taking pictures of your food and watching Top Chef doesn’t make you a foodie.

Hipsters?! Even my father knows what hipsters are, that’s how tired and played out they are. Is this ironic? But I really like this? Does this make me a hipster? Calm down, hipsters aren’t contagious.Wearing flannel doesn’t make you a hipster.  You are not a hipster unless you want to be, or unless you’re doing something just to be “different”. So stop second guessing yourself and hating people based on how they look.  Hipsters have feelings too.

Self-destructing celebrities are boring.  Sex tapes, rehab, public meltdowns, scandals, arrests, seen one you’ve seen them all. It’s rubbernecking. You’re gawking at someone else’s misfortune and holding up the rest of us. It shouldn’t be such a shock anymore. Stop watching and find another way to numb your brain or feel better about your life.

And that makes 9. I’d list off another just to round it out, but considering how I feel about lists, I think I’ll just stop here.  I’m not saying I don’t do these things, but wouldn’t it be nice to go a day without them?  Try it.

What trend are you over? Tweet me.

a beautiful mess, available at amazon.com

say yes to your mess

Recent Posts by Ali Berlinski

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