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I'm Leslie Grimmett.  I'm a thirty-something wife to Dave and mother to Julia, Lucy and Phoebe. We all live in a big white house in Ohio with an...
 
 
 
 

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Life and Death: Haunted by a Squirrel

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Yesterday, on the drive to piano class, Julia and I were taking notice of everything Fall. Piles of leaves. Pumpkins on porches.

"Mom, look at that scarecrow!"

"Aw, that's cute. Hey! Look at those squirrels. They're chasing each other."

And just like that, they ran out into the road. The chase narrowly escaped an oncoming car, but the chaser, unfortunately, didn't. I sucked in a sharp breath and clapped my hand over my mouth.

"Mom? Mom, what happened? Did that squirrel get killed?"

I glanced in my rear-view mirror at the limp body on the pavement as the car moved speedily away. "Uh huh," I uttered. "I don't think they even slowed down," I said, more to myself than to Julia.

I'm not really sure what I expected the driver of the car to do. Pull over? Try to save him? I don't know. Something, though. Maybe just a slight pause - a flash of the brake light to signal some kind of concern or regret or I don't know. I don't know!

"Poor squirrel."

"Yeah," I sniffed.

At bedtime, we pulled out our latest read: Ribsy by Beverly Cleary. We read Chapter 4: Ribsy Becomes A Mascot in which Ribsy (a dog) joins the second grade and things get wild when Danny Yaxley brings his pet squirrel in for Show and Tell. It made me think about the dead squirrel on Front Street. And that squirrel parody of the Beastie Boys song "Girls." But mostly about the dead squirrel on Front Street and how no one was going to bring him to class for Show and Tell. Well, no one was going to bring him to Show and Tell alive. No one was going to put a sweater on him. (Note: The squirrel in Ribsy wasn't written as wearing a sweater, I don't think. That's just how I imagine him. In a turquoise sweater with red trim.) And I thought about how much I disliked the squirrel squishing driver who cut my sweater-less friend's life short without so much as an attempt to swerve.

This morning, without giving it much thought, I chose to fold Julia's origami lunch note in the shape of a squirrel. An unconscious homage, perhaps.

Origami Squirrel

I wrote on the back: "Squirrel!" (A reference to the movie "Up," which Julia loves.) And also, "We're both nuts about you! Love, Mommy."

I had sort of forgotten about the squirrel note until Julia reminded me after school. The truth is, I don't remember much of what happens during the hours before I am caffeinated and I sort of wish what happened next would have happened then, because if that was the case, I wouldn't have the experience burned in my memory to relive again and again...

You guys, I ran over a squirrel today with my van and I killed it. It's...it's dead. Definitely. I am feeling so bad. It's the first time I've ever killed anything with my car. Well, other than those birds. And that snake. It just happened so fast. But not he-probably-never-knew-what-hit-him fast. I think he saw it coming. And I became the thing I hated.

I shook my head and pounded the steering wheel as I relayed the frightful tale of the probably weresquirrel (because the thing was so much bigger than a regular squirrel!) to a freshly picked up from school Julia, who was looking Cheshire cat-ish.

"Oh, Mom," she chuckled. "Wait until you see my poetry folder today." She pushed it forward. I grabbed it from over my shoulder and opened it to find a squirrel.

Juila's poetry folder

And another squirrel.

Julia's squirrel drawing

They're just...they're just everywhere. Squirrels are one of the most populous species of wildlife in Ohio! And every squirrel sighting feels like a wet willie from The Universe.

I can't help but wonder: is there anywhere squirrels don't live?

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eggsinarow 5 pts

I think you are such a good mommy! And Julia better watch her backseat driving...or her teenage years are going to be hard...I'm 31 and my mom still slams on the passenger side "brake" when I'm at wheel! xoxo

Milaka 9 pts

Oh my. This made me laugh. Especially because I have almost hit quite a few squirrels lately. I'm just waiting for the time when one of them doubles back for the last time in its life. I just hope that one of the kids is not with me then!

A Morning Grouch 8 pts

Bahaha, oh, how sad. But how funny. I once hit a goose, that basically flew directly into the hood of my car. It was flying with two of his buddies, and the other two kept flying, but then realized he was missing, turned around and came back to find him. Horrifying. I can only hope he was the wingman of the group. The dent on my hood haunts me daily.

designchic1105 5 pts

Oh I feel for ya! Years ago I was driving with my husband (then fiance`) and a squirrel ran out in front of me I swirved and tried to miss him but I still clipped him =( I freaked out and literally went hysterical letting go of the steering wheel and making my husband have to lean across the car and grab the wheel. Still to this day I have horrible vivd memories of seeing that poor little squirrel in my rear view mirror.... But as my husband and father both said at least it was a squirrel and not someone's cat or dog! That def. would haunt one much much more ;)

MyMommysPlace 7 pts

designchic1105 That view through the rear view mirror is the worst, isn't it? Ugh, it's such a terrible feeling! But it's true, it could have been worse. Like my daughter told me, "Yeah, Mom. It could have been two squirrels."

texasebeth 14 pts

I'm with Jenna. Squirrels are taking over the world, at least my part of the world. I've had several run ins witht he darn animals in our backyard. My 6 yr old and I had an interesting conversation back in January about squirrels lying in the road.

http://mylifesuchasitis.com/2011/01/09/conversatio...

MyMommysPlace 7 pts

texasebeth How cute is your Charlie? Sleeping squirrels. Oh, the innocence of being 6.

texasebeth 14 pts

MyMommysPlace

Thanks. I was trying not to laugh at the time and I didn't want to get into the whole "he's already dead honey" conversation at that point.

mommabethyname 14 pts

I must tell you, my husband ran over his very first squirrel the other day, and I gave him a hard time. Yesterday, I ran over my very first squirrel, too. I'd only killed a possum before this, so I was pretty upset, but what are the chances we'd kill 2 squirrels in 2 days? I conclude there's a squirrel overpopulation problem.

JennaHatfield 47 pts

mommabethyname Squirrels are taking over where I live, that's for sure. They're... *whisper* everywhere.

MyMommysPlace 7 pts

mommabethyname It's true. And they seem to be a special breed of kamikaze squirrel. They fear nothing!

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MommaBeThyName
MommaBeThyName

BlogHerFamily Very timely after my own squirrel fiasco.

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Lori Corby-Brown
Lori Corby-Brown

nope a friends mother in law broke her neck avoiding a coyote totaled her car too

Paul Gaywood Hooker
Paul Gaywood Hooker

i ran a suicidal one over on a bike does that count (i tried to miss it but failed AND fell off the bike)