My Life After Quadruplets: Have You Lost Yourself in Motherhood?

it's easy to be consumed by the things we love, whether you have 4 kids, one kid, or it's just you and your hubby. We all have our own stories and experiences to tell and shouldn't let what another woman writes about or what she thinks of our writing change your story.

I have one girl and a boy due next month. I do feel consumed...and 99% of the time I LOVE it! During the 1% I go shopping or write or go out with my best friend - all the things I would have done BC (before children)

Yes, I do feel consumed with motherhood, and I only have two, so I can't even imagine how all consuming it is for you! I purposely chose to blog about something other than motherhood to train my mind to focus on other things! This subject reminds me of a cartoon I once saw in a newspaper where a mom has a baby in a stroller, a couple of kids hanging onto her and someone asks her "How are you?' to which she replies "Me? I've no idea."

Karen Banes  (@writeandchange ( http://twitter.com/writeandchange )) blogs at ChangeTheWorldWithWords.com ( http://www.changetheworldwithwords.com/ )

Jen,

I hear ya! No doubt it's tough with four. I have what I call "irish quads" (triplets plus one within 20 months). The sheer amount of work that needs to be done with four consumes most of your time. Until now (our kids are 9 and 10), I felt that I could have a life outside of motherhood, but it's been tough to juggle everything. Our survivial technique was having help in the form of live-in au pairs (two at a time until they went to school). This really helped preserve time for ourselves in the middle of the hurricane of four.

I love this quote from Mark Twain "Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind, don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot. And there ain't any real difference between triplets and an insurrection." (not sure what he would have said about quads!)

Our lives will never be "normal" in a lot of ways.....but I think it's important to "carve" out time for ourselves to keep our sanity and our identity intact. Now, how to do that is another story!

Deb Schwarz

As a mom to four children (including triplets), market researcher, realtor, and host mom to 16 au pairs, Deb has a passion for helping families navigate the au pair process and find the right fit for their family.

you are very admirable, though i still don't have kids but i have a niece and a nephew at home, and i know its hard to raise a kid one at a time and you have four. but its so fulfilling to see those kids grow.

Some of the best life advice I received: Draw a pie, with slices. In each slice, place your priorities: Marriage would be one slice. "Me" time would be another slice. Parenting would be another slice. Friendships would be another slice. Etc. There has to be balance and one thing cannot take up more than one slice. I know this sounds impossible to consider, considering your four beautiful ones, so I'm as stuck there, as you are. But it was great advice when I needed it! :o)

One Friday night, I loaded up my life and headed out... ( http://isledance.blogspot.com )

Yes! I do feel consumend by motherhood, household chores, daily grind, etc! But probably only 1/4 of as much as you do! I only have one 2 year old boy, but I am going on 42. Being an older mom who is surrounded by moms who are young enough to be my daughters and going from being a working woman who worked a lot of hours to a full time stay at home mom has not been easy.

I too, said the same thing, "I will still be the same person I was, just better." Funny how we tend to put ourselves always last on our ever expanding list.

I don't think it's possible to get any part of our lives back unless we have a lot of supportive people in our life to help us achieve that.

I admire your determination and ability to get anything done with 4 at a time. Keeps me in line when I start getting overwhelmed with just one! So thanks and you are doing great!
My Site: I Am Not A Supermom ( http://imnotasupermom.blogspot.com/ )                  &nbs