At 16 years old, I was offered the opportunity to work as a model in live in Paris, France. I jumped at the chance to live every girls dream.

Age 16, one of my first photos.

I plunged head first into the fashion scene, only to discover the lifestyle was unbearable. The pressure to be unnaturally thin, and to modify my behavior and body, drained my willpower and self esteem.

A few of my first photo shoots in Paris, I was scared to death!

Still, I continued on, working in Milan and New York, searching for my niche. I exercised my body to the bone, continuing to work was multiple stress fractures wracked my shins. My period was long gone, and I somehow existed on a diet of cigarettes and baby food, yet I was never thin enough for my modeling agents. I stood 5'9 and weighed 120 pounds.

NYC at 21, the final run of my career

At 21, I quit modeling and went on to earn my bachelors in Broadcast Journalism. As I sat through college classes, with a herniated disc in my back from frantically teaching 3 aerobic classes a day, I never thought I would graduate, much less go on to be successful, happy, and free of my eating disorder.

I am now 39 years old, happily married, and the mother of two wonderful children age 6 and 9. My modeling days are long gone, along with my disordered eating habits.

This blog was started on a total whim in the fall of 2006, after seeing an episode of America's Next Top Model. As a mother of a young daughter, I was appalled by the program and I let it all fly both here and on You Tube. This one action spurred what I believe is one of my life purposes;

• To be a voice of reason for the millions of young women who believe their purpose in life is to be thin and beautiful.
• To be a listening ear for those suffering with eating disorders and chasing the "perfect" version of themselves.
• To spread awareness to parents about the "pro-anorexia" culture that has found their voice on the web.
• To open the eyes of parents to how their own body image impacts their daughters self esteem, and provide advice on how to improve your own confidence.

As I look back on my modeling years, I am very grateful my parents allowed me to pursue the opportunity, not many parents would have had the guts to let their daughter go at such a young age. Their decision was the best thing they could have done for me, because it made me who I am today and I wouldn't change a thing.

I share with you my past, in an effort to set you on the right track, especially if you are suffering with an eating disorder, self hatred, and the depression and anxiety that often comes with it.

If your greatest desire is to be thin and beautiful, I hope my blog topics and true life stories serve as a voice of reason in this beauty obsessed society we live in.

Welcome to the mamaVISION community, I look forward to meeting you and helping you realize - your life is now.

-mamaV

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Get involved...my causes;

Girl Scout Leader, Member of Communications Committee, Women's Fund, Supporter of NEDA