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If there is a lesson to be learned from Friday night's presidential debate,it's this:when it comes to leadership,body language matters.
It's not so much what you say as a leader,but what impression your body language communicates.
Right after the debate-scoring it like a boxing match-- the pundits said McCain had won on the points. For a brief few moments they talked about McCain's command of foreign policy and how he came off as a credible command in chief.
But that analysis shifted quickly when the pundits got an earful from independent voters who were polled about the debate. The voters were very clear on their winner-- Obama.
The reason? Voters didn't like McCain and it was not primarily
because of what he was saying but because of his body language.
"He was rigid, he was stooped over, he looked cranky, angry, mean, and most of all he refused to look Obama in the eye."
Refusing to look your adversary in the eye is not a good tactic/strategy if you want to be perceived as a leader. Strong leaders maintain eye contact, avoiding eye contact shows weakness.
According to several studies only 7% of a person's effectiveness in communication is determined by the words they say --93% is determined by nonverbal cues.
Writing at the small business blog, mfmomper shared some of Tonya Reiman's advice for using body language in a business meeting that you find rather boring.
- Tilt your head to the right. This slight gesture indicates to the speaker that you are attentive and listening.
- Put on a smile. If you occasionally smile, you are showing engagement.
- Blink. If people are bored, they tend to stop blinking, taking on a glazed appearance. Remember to blink and you’ll signal involvement in the meeting.
- Nod. From time to time, gently nod in agreement, as long as you are choosing the appropriate time. After all, you don’t want to agree to a negative statement like, "We all need to accept pay cuts!"
- Change position. If you are still having a difficult time focusing, move your body around a bit to stay awake and revitalized.
Bry Roe is offering her own list of 11 Body Language Signals in the workplace.My favorite is the tongue poke.
5) Tongue Poke
When asking questions or making conversation, watch closely for the tip of the person’s tongue. This will usually be a quick poke and implies that they don’t like something you may have said (or you in general!) This stems from childhood, when a shows the tip of the tongue when refusing food. It is a signal of disgust.
Even so, body language is not an exact science and it is important to double check to see if what you are reading from someone's body language is what they are actually thinking.
Last week I was facilitating a leadership workshop and we had been discussing body language. At one point I raised an issue and noticed that the gentlemen I was trying to engage in a conversation had his arms folded tightly across his chest.
With a big smile on my face, I remarked, " So I see from you body language that you're not agreeing with what I just said."
He just laughed and said, "I just keep my arms folded because I'm so fat."
Sometimes crossed arms are just that crossed arms. Sometimes when you are in a meeting and someone doesn't look interested its because they have other things on their mind--maybe they had a fight with a loved one, maybe they have financial worries -- maybe they are struggling with a tough decision that has nothing to do with you.
Oh and on that head tilt recommendation, another body language expert, Carol Kinsey Goman, author of The Nonverbal Advantage says in business dealings with men, women should keep their heads straight up in a more neutral position.
Today head tilting is a signal that someone is interested and involved, and it is a particularly feminine gesture. Head tilts can be very positive cues, but they ar ealso subconsciously process as submission signals.
For the next three days I'm at an offsite where I want to show up as leader. One of the tactics that I will use to support that strategy is to pay attention to head tilts, happy feet and tongue pokes and hope that the other folks in the room are not
