- Share This Post
- 0
- submit
- 0
-
Sparkle (0)
This is the 2nd part is a series about Healing Heartache.
Ever met anyone who succeeded in convincing him/herself heartache was no big deal?
Ever believed him/her?
Ever believe yourself?
It is a big deal, beyond a big deal.
And it doesn't go away.
And it doesn't just take care of itself.
And time doesn't heal it.
Heartache, if left unhealed, can be like a slow emotional suicide.
And I for one am very done 'dying.'
Hey, I'm Tre, and these posts are a part of a series I'm offering as my right now thoughts for what has helped me heal deep heartache that suffocated me for years.
It's my hope that something in these posts will resonate with you and help you feel that possibility of healing, that hope of a maybe there will be some kind of relief.
If you read something and want to talk further, there's a lot of ways to contact me.
I hope you'll choose one.
If you read this and something in you stirs you I hope you'll share what and why in the comments below or through an email.
Either way, what you think and feel absolutely matters, your emotional healing is paramount to your thriving and it's my earnest desire to offer what's helped me so that in this journey of life we can come together and share what matters most and hopefully edit our footsteps enough so that the choices we take now can improve our moments and give us a bit more conviction in the possibility and right now-ness of what we hope to build with our lives for tomorrow.
Healing Heartache through listening
Listening is surely difficult.
Hearing what someone else is saying and more, what they're meaning is what we think of when we hear the word: listen.
I'm not talking about listening to someone else here.
I'm talking about listening to ourselves.
Listening to ourselves is a skill we're not really ever taught how to do. And it's difficult, surely to get into that thought of ours and hear ourselves.
Try doing so when all we feel is deep pain and loss and grief.
And yet, in order to heal from deep heartache, we have to listen.
We have to stand still (Part 1) and listen (this post).
So you're clear on where I'm coming from, by 'heartache' I'm meaning something that devastates us...something that tears us apart inside...something that makes us feel empty.
-a break up.
-a disconnect with a loved one.
-a deeply unsettling parting of ways (think job, move, etc).
Heartache probably doesn't need the defining so much because we've each probably experienced it a time or two.
How to get unstuck.
When you're full of heartache, thought gets stuck in not only deep pain but rewinding and replaying scene after scene after scene.
We find ourselves going over and over and over again what should have happened and could have happened and wished we would have done or should have done.
We dump on ourselves like an enemy.
We fuel ourselves with anger and resentment and can't seem to figure out why things didn't go the way we wanted.
We abuse ourselves verbally and physically.
We lash out at others unintentionally.
We feel empty and angered not only because things didn't go right ourselves but because we can't control the now outcome that we're facing which we didn't want in the first place.
You get it. I am not trying to state the obvious but you get it.
So ever notice how when your thought is stuck in the rewind/replay mode, if left unstopped, nothing gets solved?
Call it paralysis analysis.
If you're stuck in going over and over and over and over and over and over each detail to each scene, it's nearly impossible to move forward.
Do it for months, a year, or more and before you know it, months and a whole year or 2, 3, 5, 10 years go by and you may well still be unhealed from heartache and caught in the blame, shame, dump on myself adinfinitum game.
Nothing fixes our hearts but hard work, internal thought work
It's so true.
The only thing that heals this heartache is that deep internal thought work, the toughest kind I know.
But it's doable.
And you can
