I've been having trouble deciding what to give up for Lent this year.I'm a bit of a lukewarm Anglican but I've always liked the idea of making a commitment for Lent as an outward expression of faith. In years past I have given up chocolate and french fries; one sad year I gave up wine. I couldn't decide what to give this year. I thought about booze, but decided that was just insane. I thought about sweets but realized I don't eat that many sweets and it seemed a bit of a cop out....more
I am convinced that I am a lucky woman. I was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma 9 months ago while i was 22 weeks pregnant. I had been told it would be difficult for me to get pregnant AND I was a 35 year old, obese smoker. Talk about the odds being against you! I became symptomatic at 3 months pregnant. I saw multiple doctors...the answer was the same. I was told I was fat and pregnant and that's why I couldn't breathe. As it turns out, it actually was a grapefruit sized tumor that was occluding my superior vena cava and causing shortness of bre...more
From the start I knew there would come a day when I would think to myself, “Do I really want to share this much? Do I really want to put out such personal details?” Whether it would be a blog about how scared I am on a particular day or one with details about what is going on, I knew that day would come, and here it is. What keeps me feeling safe and grounded through it all, is knowing that my Guidance would not have pushed so hard for me to do this if I was going to keep it “pretty and cute" hiding the reality of the journey. What would be the point?
This past Wednesday I had a mini meltdown. After a wonderful and uplifting conversation with my Spiritual coach and dear friend Intiana on Tuesday, all it took was one day for this roller coaster ride to take a fast and scary dip. Part of the healing for me is to reach out when in need as that's never been easy, but I did by calling Intiana in tears. We weren't scheduled to speak again for another week and I was so grateful that she was available.
On December 1, 2009 I had an endometrial biopsy. On December 9 I got the call:
"It's cancer; stage II" followed just minutes later with, "Oh, yes! The organ must come out! And maybe the ovaries." NOT! :-)
Cancer is no longer the "Big C" or a "dirty little secret." Not only have I been guided since that phone call to not travel this journey to healing that way, but I also believe, deep in my heart, that it is nothing but a Divine Opportunity.
Do you have a prayer request? A special need? Well, I spent all night placing a live webcam to Lourdes, France on my website, including a little mailbox to their prayer request email. All kinds of weird computer problems kept cropping up, and I kept offering them up as a prayer, which did help to keep me from being annoyed. Then...
This morning I got an email from a friend who told me that today is OUR LADY OF LOURDES FEAST DAY! Wow. I had no idea! That is just so cool...