- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 0
- 0
-
Sparkle (0)
Over the last few years, innumerable people have encouraged me to do more blogging about health and healthcare issues. I've considered it more than once and even done what amounts to due diligence: reading up on the ethical issues around health blogging, talking to attorneys about what I can and cannot say if I don't want to endanger my insurance coverage, considering the parameters I'd need to set to maintain a comfortable level of privacy.
It's a lot to think about. It makes me tired.
Tired isn't a word I use lightly.
For 4 years of graduate school I worked full time, taught as an adjunct professor, and supervised several undergraduate student clubs, all while completing a combined M.S. degree that required comprehensive exams in multiple subject areas and two separate thesis projects in two different departments. I'd race around the office all day long, grade papers, lecture for two and a half hours, do some research, eat dinner at midnight and get up at 7 a.m. and mainline coffee while complaining I was tired.
I did not know what tired was.
I thought tired meant only reading the first and last chapter of a book in order to be able to follow the class discussion but still make time for an extra 2 hours of sleep before the history seminar I needed to graduate on time. I thought tired meant needing to send my graduate assistant to teach the lab so I could grade papers and still be able to drive myself home without falling asleep behind the wheel. I thought tired meant needing to throw an extra shot in my latte before lecturing non-physics majors about calculating reverberation time.
I did not know jack about tired.
I was an amateur in the world of tired.
In 2004 I turned Pro.
In 2004 a hereditary inflammatory autoimmune disease related to rheumatoid arthritis came out of hiding and kicked my ass. Eventually, I had to quit working, quit teaching, quit planning on well, being able to make plans. It's a situation that requires a lot of adjustments.
You know what goes great with tired? Searing joint pain. Together they're like milk and cereal. Leather and lace. Peanut butter and chocolate. Crocket and Tubbs.
Actually, they're like none of those things. The new migraine medicine my doctor prescribed has a lot of codeine in it and I strongly suspect it just kicked in.
So what was I saying? I have no idea. I just got an adaptation of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0023753/">Alice in Wonderland</a> that stars Gary Cooper, Cary Grant and W.C. Fields and it's hard to pay attention to this post.
It's also a situation that comes with a lot of interpersonal frustration. People - no matter how well-meaning, don't understand how exhausting pain and fatigue are. They say less than helpful things like, "I wouldn't ever tell anyone I was sick, I can't afford the damage to my career." Or, "I get tired too, but I just suck it up." Or, "If you'd stop eating tomatoes, you wouldn't be sick." Or,
