My Daughter Reunited Me With My High-School Frenemy!

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Life is complicated. Thank goodness there are experts to help us untangle some of the vexing issues that, well, vex us on a daily basis. The Mouthy Housewives are here on BlogHerMOMS to help, three times a week. Email your pressing issues and questions to stacy.morrison at blogher.com to be answered in exclusive posts on Fridays. Today, we share one of the Greatest Hits from the Mouthy Files.

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Dear Mouthy Housewives

My 3-year-old has a best friend at school and was SO excited when her friend’s parents invited the whole class over for a BBQ. We arrived and I soon found out that her best friend’s mother was my biggest enemy in high school. You know, the petty gal that never got over the fact that I took her spot on the cheer squad, the gal that hated that guys liked me better than her, the girl that spread nasty rumors just because… I know, let bygones be bygones, grow up, etc. But come on—can’t I encourage my 3-year-old to pick a new friend?

Love, Bygones

two women on a bench

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Dear Bygones,

I assume that this downturn in the economy that the rest of us are enjoying is not affecting you and this is why you are happy to let this perfectly good opportunity of free entertainment slide. 

Because certainly you realize that your nemesis’ secrets will be yours for the price of a store-bought cookie.  Of course your daughter is likely to spill the dirt on you as well, so I recommend keeping her fully stuffed on sweets.  What I am trying to say, is that you reconsider the bygones and remember that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And just for my own curiosity: am I correct that while this woman was spreading rumors about you, you were volunteering, working with lepers and orphans, and on occasion with orphaned lepers? Because that’s what I spent my high school years doing.

I asked my mother for her input on this issue and she recommended fine-tuning your daughter’s friendship, because, according to her, “It’s easier for kids to make new friends than for adults to forget old enemies.”  And while she certainly has  an embroiderable-on-a- throw-pillow point, it may not be the message that you want to impart to your young, impressionable daughter.  Because although you can encourage your three year old to pick a new friend,  and I’m hard-pressed to think of any relationship that couldn’t be enhanced by a mother’s loving meddling, I beg you think this through.  What if her new best friend has a totally dull mother, the kind that doesn’t serve cocktails on playdates or worse, refuses to gossip?  Shudder.

Love,

Marinka, TMH

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