Help Me Choose My Bridesmaids' Dresses!

I must say that if your bridesmaids are caucasian and not very tan, champagne can look awful. I was forced to wear such a dress and it washed me out beyond belief and has been referred to as my "naked dress" for the past 3 years. I know it's elegant, but it looks good on few complexions.

All of us in the wedding, except one olive skinned bridesmaid, looked large and washed out in the photos. I think all of the silhouetts you chose are forgiving, but the if you are truly wanting them to spend money on a dress they'll wear again them perhaps specify a color/fabric from the J. Crew line and let your maids pick the silhouette that works best for their bodies.

If you ask three girls to wear the same dress, the notion that they will all be flattered by the dress and would possibly wear it again.. hmmm. If you want them to wear dresses that they like and will wear again, let them pick the dresses. If you want them to be comfortable, let them choose dresses that have options as far as strapless, straps, halter etc. - no one style is going to be great for each of them. In my experience, the bride wants what she wants and unless she lets the maids choose their dresses, it's really all about the bride, so owning up to that and choosing the dresses rather than angsting over these issues might be more honest and less torturous. No to the headbands - dress 'em up however you want to, but headbands seems a bit much!

I think that the first dress is classy and stylish. Very nice! 

Stacie Haight Connerty, Atlanta Mother of 3

The Divine Miss Mommy: http://www.thedivinemissmommy.com/

Twitter: StacieinAtlanta 

I've been to alot of weddings. I've seen alot of dresses. If it comes down to these styles, go with #3 for sure! The folds the cross at the waist will be flattering even on a thick waistline, the hem is classy enough to not distract from the dignity of the event (too much leg can mean sloppy or childish looking photos, unless your dress is shorter too), and the front pleats give the skirt an nice round formal shape yet with a modern cut (that will look good on girls with skinny or thick legs). As for the concern over the strapless part, you may want to consider a cover-up for the ceremony & some of the photos (such as a short sleeved bolero jacket either matching or in a complementary color -- I had to wear one at a friend's wedding which was made from lace from a fabric store. You can find some really cool pre-made ones, but they can be costly). The only time the girls will have to worry about keeping "things together" on top with a strapless gown is during the dancing!

Have fun & congratulations! Keep us posted!!

Truly,

Nikki

That's a tough one!

Mir has some REALLY good points. I've seen the "same color, different dress" pulled off beautifully, but you have to make sure that the colors actually match or are different enough that it looks purposeful. Tricky.

Of those pictured, I really like the 3rd (pictured in silver) the best. 

I love! the second dress. Oh, and number 5, too.

I love the first dress! I think gold brocade is lovely, and the style is retro-ish and modern. (Does that make sense?) In fact, I love gold brocade so much that it was one of my last choices when I wrote for a wedding blog (http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/31/dress-of-the-d... ( http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/31/dress-of-the-d... )) While I love that dress, I think a non-strapless option is easier for your maids. Go for #1!

I love the last one-- basically, it's the one I'd want to wear to other events the most.

I agree with the commenters above -- let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses. I like J. Crew's selection of wedding & party dresses. Pick a color (or two) and tell your gals to choose their own. They can coordinate amongst each other to make sure they end up with a pleasing mix. 

If you wear strapless you just can't move into the mythic oblivion required of bridesmaids. Too much tugging.

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If you were choosing just for one other person, or if your bridesmaids were (maybe they are?) identical triplets with exactly the same body types who also go to a lot of formal events, then none of this would be a problem.  But I think the advice you've received above is spot-on - if you want them all to wear something that's perfectly flattering AND that they'll wear again AND that matches exactly, you might drive yourself crazy.  Honestly, you can't really control whether your bridesmaids choose to wear the dress they wore in your wedding to another event.  But, speaking as someone who has been a bridesmaid more times than I can count on both hands, that's just fine.  I loved being in the weddings no matter what I was wearing and whether or not I wore the dresses again.

Having said that, I love your gold/champagne color scheme.  Dress #1 is my favorite, but I see how it might not look great on everyone.  All of them (except the Nordstrom dress) are quite formal, which will be lovely but could mean they won't be worn again.

One should not respond after happy hour w/out a spell check.  I'm just saying....

If you truely want them to be able to wear them again, listen to Mir.

At my wedding I finally decided, "you know what, it's my wedding and I want dresses in this color & this length." & that's what we did. Could my girls wear them again?  Sure, it they shortened them and wanted to wear that color (sage) to a cocktail party.  Do most people do that?  No. Most people wear black to those sort of things, so unless it's a black & white wedding don't stress it.

If you really like the last one (I think it's adorable) then you could maybe find a somewhat similar dress for your maid of honor.   In the end, it's your wedding and you want the pix to look the way you want them to look.  Pick what you like best & your friends will be fine with it.  The fact that you made the consideration regarding thing like cost & wearability will be noted, and who knows maybe you'll succed on one front.  No matter what you do, at least one person will be less than please w/your choice, it's the nature of the beast.  If they're good enough friends to be in your wedding they'll suck it up and smile while they're doing it, cause they love you and want you to be happy.  

Honestly, that's how it should be.

(and their coloring) because if they look/feel horrible in them, whether the dresses are adaptable to wearing for other situations or not isn't the issue at all. As a size 16 blessed with an hourglass figure, I have a chest that doesn't look great in the straight-across necklines of most strapless dresses, no matter how cute they look in a catalog or on a webpage. Also, I look like I should topple over in halter-style dresses, and the first dress in your list probably wouldn't look great on someone with my figure either.

As to whether your bridesmaids will be comfortable in strapless dresses--well, spaghetti straps aren't difficult additions. My sister, who has no chest at all, had spaghetti straps added to her wedding dress, just because she'd be more comfortable with them there.

I think one of the kindest decisions a bride can make for her bridesmaids is to choose a color available in separates, and let them mix & match to wear what they feel good in. (I'm saying this as a woman who's only twice been a bridesmaid, but that was enough to convince me that I wanted nothing to do with those kinds of decisions for my own wedding.)

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If you really and truly want them to be able to wear them again, Holly, stop looking at bridal shops. Immediately.

I totally get what you're going for (and what appeals to you) with the Nordstrom dress. That said, both the color and style make it tricky as a "one size fits all" type of thing. And if the MOH already doesn't like it... well, yeah.

It seems like the new "thing" is to either pick a color or a palette of colors and then let the attendants choose their own dresses, within some specified parameters. From what I know about your (marvelous) sense of style, this is no time to fall back on convention and insist on the matchy-matchy. Decide what you love and want as the unifying theme -- a color and/or a particular feature (you want all the dresses to be knee-length, and/or you want them all to have an empire waist, or whatever) -- and then let your girls be themselves. Let them shop at Macy's or a fabulous vintage shop and find the dress that they love.

Consider broadening the color palette, too; as much as I love the gold tones, allowing all the attendants to wear (different) bright colors will allow YOU to stand out even more in your white gown, plus it sets off the flowers and feels festive. Maybe they each like a different shade of pink? (I'm gunning for one of them to wear that Nordy's dress, honest.) ;)

Good luck with it!

--
Mir Kamin
(BlogHer contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda ( http://wouldashoulda.com/ )

Having it all with less: Want Not ( http://wantnot.net/ )

I love 1 and 2. Form the sound of your vision, one would look really wonderful. Two is probably the most rewearable (in my opinion) because it's little and cute.

I agree with your maid of honor about the ruffly one.

The last one I've tried on. It was a little scandalously short on me- I'm 5'8". Also, it's definitely for the smaller framed, almost wee people. I'm roughly a six, not at all chesty, and I felt a little smashed into it.

How do your attendants feel about strapless gowns?  I think they look very, very dressy - not afternoon wedding-y.  Because of that I'd go with dress #1 or the coral one from Nordstroms. 

Apologies in advance for the "iheart" part of my username (at least this is not comic sans), but I like #3 the best. I think the wrap part of the dress makes it flattering and the pleats make it not so bum-hugging, all of which I look for in a dress. Truthfully though, the only dress that I would almost definitely wear again (because it doesn't look bridesmaidy) is the pink rosette dress. This comment doesn't feel helpful anymore. Sorry :-(

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