Help! My Daughter Defriended Me!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I recently noticed that my daughter defriended me on Facebook. She's 16 and although I don't have any particular worries, I'm concerned that this is a bad sign. What do you think?
Friendless on Facebook
Your 16-year-old daughter defriending you Facebook is indeed a bad sign. Because most teens I know never would have accepted a Friend request from their parents in the first place, so you have to wonder, what the heck took her so long?
Now that I have you riled up, please calm down. It's entirely possible that she didn't realize that you were Facebook friends in the first place. Or maybe she's just a late bloomer. Whatever the reason, try not to judge too harshly her social media faux pas.
If you are comfortable with your daughter having a zone of privacy, not being Facebook friends should not be a problem. But if you suspect that there is something nefarious happening, have a chat with her. A casual "Hey, I see I got defriended the other day" to test the waters. The important thing is that your daughter knows she can talk to you about whatever challenges come up, not that you are privy to every teenage exchange that she participates in.
I know many parents take solace in being friends with their children on Facebook, but I believe that it may be generating a false sense of security. Because if your teen wants to have a private Facebook conversation, she will do it in a private Facebook group that you won't even know she belongs to. That's some high-tech spy moves right there.
Go with your instincts. If you suspect trouble, air it out. Otherwise, let her have Facebook. And maybe one day she'll surprise you with a friend request.