HELP my marriage is almost over

Please leave a comment.

I need help. I know this is a BlogHER website and that is why I am posting here. I know I can get the right advice.

My wife and I will have been married 19years on October 3, 2007. She is the absolut love of my life. I
About 4 weeks ago, she said she thinks we are done. We talked most of the night and here are some of the things that came up. Before that, here is our background. We met when she was a junior in a highschool and I just graduated. After a couple of months, she moved in with me in my appartment. She was 16 and I was 18. About a year later we got married and 2 years after that had our first of 2 children. Both kids are now in high school with the oldest graduating later this school year. My wife had never had a job until earlier this year. She is now seeing there is so much out there in life she has not seen. She has had no other life other than what I provided for her. She never even completed highschool. She was a stay at home mother. Now the kids are not really needing her as they are getting older and about to graduate and she is lonely and of no longer any use to the family. As much as I try to prove to her how much I need her. she still seeks independance.

After our talk that night, I learned I had neglected her for many years. In my mind, things were great. I knew she was lonely, but I never acted on it. She just took her GED and is now looking into college courses. She wants to feel indendence she says. Everything we have in our life, cars, savings, house etc, I bought. She feels she has not contributed anything to this marriage and to life in general othet than raising the children. She also met a man who comes into her place of employment. They text each other all the time and or call each other. She says it is only a friend and she has never had a friend since high school, 19 years ago. This man is divorced and has a couple of children in college. I have seen this man and he is ulgy, fat, and well, just the opposite of someone that a normal person would find attractive. She said thier connection is that she is unhappy in the marriage and he has been through a divorce so he understands.
I have tried over the last 4 weeks to show her how much she means to me. We went out on a date. I have sent her flowers to work. I even stopped by yesterday to take a a single flower since I was passing by her job. I kiss her, hold her, touch her and everything I can think to do to prove to her how much I love her and miss her. I get upset and miss her, all day long. I want to call her, text her, something, just to get cose to her. Now she says I am clingy. She needs alone time. First it was I am not there, even when we are together, I am not there. I realized that and trying so hard to prove I want this marriage to work and I love her and need her and now she says I am to clingy.
Please tell me she does not want out of this relationship but only staying in long enough to get through college and get a good job only to leave me. We are seeing a counsler next week. I am unsure what the counselor can tell her that will make her stay. I am in and very engaged. My fault is I guess it took me to long to get engaged.
I am unsure of what to do. She said she loves me but does not think she is in love with me. What do I do? I can not imagine a life without her. I tell her that and she says that is not natural. In otherwords, she wants out of this relationship but does not know how?
I tell her all the time I love her, I miss her. I know, I should have been saying it years ago. PLEASE, I am talking to all of you. Some one please help me win back my wife.
Lloyd Mcpherson
LCMCPHERSON@HOT.RR.COM