Help Stop Violence Against Women - It's not OK
By Cathy Steinberg on January 21, 2013
Violence has to stop! More importantly, the violence against girls and women MUST stop.
We, as a society, have to take steps towards making a difference when it comes to violence and our exposure to violence. Namely, our girls and women need to be protected. Aside from being protected by laws, we must take steps towards educating ourselves and our girls about personal safety and protecting ourselves. There is a myth in our society that tells us a knight in shining armor will swoop in and save us in times of peril. That (unfortunately) is a fairy tale. As we have seen time and time again, when we are in danger the only person we have to rely on to save us is ourselves. That knight is just going to keep walking and pretend he doesn't see what is happening or will pull out his phone to take a picture instead of calling for help.
Case in point, I want to address the rape of that 16 year old girl at the party in Ohio. A 16 year old in Ohio was drugged, raped, and urinated on by at least 2, maybe more, guys at a party while other partygoers looked on and did nothing. Instead partygoers took pictures and made jokes about the brutal way in which these lowlifes raped this young girl. In pictures posted online you see a half-naked minor being dragged by two guys who rape and pee on her while others look on and do nothing to help her.
When men brutalize each other, they punch, stab, and shoot. They heal (or die) and it's over. When men brutalize women, they rape, maim and destroy women's souls. They injure them not only physically but emotionally, in most cases, for life. Physical wounds heal much quicker than the deep emotional ones. Being raped and sexually violated is so much more destructive that imagined. Unless you have endured what that is like you cannot fully comprehend the long-term ramifications.
What have we become as a society?
How do our children have no moral compass to determine what the right course of action should be when they witness such brutality?
I don't have answers to those questions.
What I do know is how to keep you safe. It is what I have spent years learning. It is my craft and I have been honing my skills and learning the hard lessons so you could be safe. I am brutally honest. My goal is to teach women and girls how to avoid these situations at all costs. I also teach defensive skills to help them fight to survive and get away if they cannot avoid the event.
Helpful party tips:
- If you are underaged, stay away from alcohol. There is a reason the legal drinking age is 21. Alcohol is dangerous. If intoxicated, you can behave in ways that could get you hurt or killed. If you are impaired, your reaction is slower, your judgement is clouded, and you will be unable to help yourself if you are caught in a dangerous situation.
- If you are at a party, ALWAYS keep your drink (soda, water, juice or whatever) in your possession. If someone offers to get you a drink, go with them and watch it being served. Spiking a drink is so incredibly easy to do. It is colorless, tasteless, and odorless. It will incapacitate you in a matter of minutes. Be aware.
- Stay away from drugs. Honestly, you wanna wake up the next morning naked with burn marks on your body and wondering what happened - then go ahead, take a hit and take your chances.
- If you feel uncomfortable at a party or if the people there are acting out, leave! You don't have to be dramatic about it. Just slip out the door, get in your car, and go. If you came with a ride and your ride doesn't want to leave, call someone to pick you up. Get in a bathroom under the guise of feeling like you want to puke until your ride gets there. Pretend to be sick. If you feel in imminent danger of being victimized by a guy or a couple of guys - start puking. Seems weird but getting puked on is a buzz kill. Call the police if you can't get away.
- Always have friends with you at parties. If you surround yourself with good friends, someone is going to step in to help you or call the police if something bad happens to you. That's what friends are for. I'll be damned if I let a friend (or anyone, really) get raped at a party I am at. I will call the police and get involved until they get there to stop it from happening. Call me crazy for thinking that way because apparently, at this party where this 16 yr old was raped and dragged around while half-naked and unconscious, no one had any moral nudge to do the right thing.
- Don't shut the party down. What I mean is, don't be one of the last birds to leave the nest. The later you stay, the greater the chances for some thing bad to happen. Really...it's tacky. Standing around when everyone is lying around tired or drunk is just a buzz kill. Go while you are still fresh.
You can't control what other do. You can't expect others to help you. You can't hope for others to step in and do what is right. All you can do is your best to keep away from bad situations. Having fun is great. You should be having fun, just be safe about it.
You can control what happens to you. What you do matters. Who you surround yourself with matters.
Be Safe and Stay Fabulous!
Know what to do when it matters most!