Here's a stretchmark I made earlier!!

i luv my stretchmarks /
nature has made her tattoos /
what a work of art.



My stretchmarks are x-mark-the-spots - marking exactly where you should kiss me.

Must.

It ain't a myth - it's a fact. Not a request - it's an order - Sir - ordained - by she-angels with cherried tongues - who are watching you if you make the wrong move - on my oh-so-deliberately-gratuitously-plumpified body.

So. Be careful how you kiss me, Sugar.
Or where the hell you kiss me, Sugar.
Or else I won't even call you Sugar.
I'll just call you Salt instead.     Sugar.



Now... you have 3 chances to get it right - I'm feeling particularly generous tonight - don't know - must be the full moon with her belly hung so low I can touch her.

So here's what?, I'll give you 5 goes instead of 3 - and you know what?, ya don't even have to thank me, see?

But 5 times wrong and I'm sorry - I'll have to turn you into a piece of cheese, a mogwai ...or Donald Trump.

Take your pick.

But don't worry, if you get it wrong, I'll tell your mum you went on a NASA expedition or something. (I'm thoughtful like that. She's very old, I know).

So, best gets to working, Mr - get it right - and you won't smell the faint scent of cherries - or hear angels giggling in the corner of the room.

And if ya really lucky, Mr.
If you're reeeeeeallly reeeeeeallly lucky, Mr
I might just marry you twice, Mr.
I might just marry you. Twice.

And carry you over the threshold my own damn self. Picket fence, DIY tools from B & Q, wide-screen Sony TV, the whole works for you, baby. You - barefoot and pregnant with Nigerian Guiness; Me - bringing home the bacon & jollof rice.

And we'll have our very own pole in the very middle of our very own room ...

and you'll sing for me and I'll dance for you...

and I'll clap for you and you'll strip for me...

and I'll sing, My Mr, I'll sing for you:

i luv my stretchmarks /
nature has made her tattoos /
what a work of art.

I said I'll sing for you Mr, I'll sing for you
Oh Lordy, lordy - I'll sing for you:

i. luv. my. stretch.marks.


then you'll look at me
you'll look at my body
look up to the sky
and mouth: thank you, Jesus

you'll look at me
lights off - moon bright
every kiss - on every mark:
a validation.

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