Here's What I Really Think About Women
By Christy Williams on February 01, 2014
I was perfectly happy easing myself into the world of blogging. I started blogging for a company I used to work for (FlexJobs.com -- they are AMAZEBALLS) and loved every minute of it. When I went out on my own, I thought I would start with two of my most current and timely passions -- careers and transitioning to a plant-based, gluten-free life. (You can see those blogs here and here.)
But I just came from an amazing brunch with two of the most incredible women I know and was inspired to come home and write -- and this topic didn't fit in with my other blogs, so I just had to create a whole new blog so I could write about this -- and anything else I want, for that matter.
Here's what has me all fired up, you guys. I am blessed to have amazing women surrounding me. (Men, too -- but this is about us women.) The women I just had brunch with are unbelievable.
And they DO NOT KNOW IT!!! They have absolutely NO idea how incredible they are. I think they have somewhat of an idea of how much they have impacted my life. But they are nowhere close to knowing how over-the-top fabulous they are.
One of them has survived an abusive marriage, got herself the heck out of there, found herself a wonderful new man (perfect? no. wonderful and flawed? yes.), struggled with infertility, has an amazing career, and a beautiful life. Not easy. Not perfect. But beautiful. She is my hero.
The other one is an executive director at an international corporation, found her love later in life, suffered a tragic miscarriage, had a beautiful baby girl at an "advanced maternal age" (I can say that because I was labeled in the the same unfortunate way during my second pregnancy at 38), has recently hit a HUGE bump in the road in her marriage, stood up for herself, confronted when confrontations were needed, is dealing with aging parents, and is also my hero.
But here's the thing. Neither one of these women have ANY idea how CRAZY incredible they are. At all. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a huge curser. I don't see the point to it. But I have to swear when I talk about these women because they are THE SHIT. There's just no other way to say it.
And then I started thinking about all the other women in my life. I could say the exact same thing about all of the women in my life. EVERY SINGLE ONE. But why don't we all know this about ourselves and more importantly, accept it? Why are we constantly comparing ourselves to each other? Why do we take the things that happen to us in this life and twist it around until it turns out to be our fault somehow?
Now, I have always had a healthy self-esteem and I don't know where it comes from -- but I wish I could rub it off on every woman and girl I meet. It's not that my life is exactly where I thought it would be when I was 44. Not even close.
It's not that I don't have extra pounds to lose, but I refuse to let that determine my self-worth. It's not that haven't had a horrible miscarriage, fertility issues, and diagnoses of multiple autoimmune diseases. I just don't let them define me. Those are all pieces of me, but they have not made me feel less about myself.
Before I had some bumps in my 20-year marriage, I totally thought I was the shit. When we hit those bumps, I started to think, "Wait -- I always thought I was unbelievable...am I not? Was I wrong?" It admittedly took a toll on the self-esteem for a little while. But once I bounced back, I realized that I was the only one who was going to be responsible for how I felt about myself.
Life is getting hard. In your 40's, you're faced with things you didn't have to worry about as a 20- or 30-something. Aging parents, raising kids, illness, marriage issues, and just making sure you're doing everything you possibly can to do things right and leave the world a little better. And I want to start with all the women out there.
You are the shit.
You single moms that do it all by yourself all the time? You are the shit and I take my hat off to you every single night that my husband is traveling -- which is a lot.
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