Here's Why It's "Less Writing, More Boobs", Girlfriends.

 

This is the actual title of an article re: a survey done by Chemistry.com about what men want to see in a woman’s profile.  Seriously, where do we live? Hooterville?

 I personally don’t have any more boobs… I barely have boobs period…and my "about me" goes on and on AND on…but I’ve managed to meet some pretty great guys who didn’t need glasses ( to see my little boobs ) and could read ( my novel length profile ) so I’m thinking: score for me!

However, I do have to say my profile pictures are decent and current and I get more compliments about my smile than anything else. And while this article has great tips for creating your online dating persona, underline and highlight this paramount point:

 

Men who date online only want to look at your profile pictures. Ish.

So all those guys who asked me questions about what I wrote proving they actually read it…all of them looked at and really liked my pictures first. Guaranfucking teed. Of course. Do I do the same thing? No shit, Sherlock.

The name of the game is physical attraction first – anywhere from a spark to a forest fire - at least for me. If I can’t imagine kissing him let alone getting naked and naughty, it’s a no go. I’m looking for a whole relationship, including great sex. Increase that exponentially for a man then double that and you’re approaching how important great pictures are to your cause ie creating a profile that draws a lot of men, including the kind of man you’d like to meet.

If all you have are pictures of the kids or even worse, the ex and the kids, not okay. If all you have are pictures of you with family or groups of friends in which, I’m going to put this bluntly via my business partner and ex B, “YOU’RE not the hot one”…IT’S NOT OKAY.  Sad but true, girlies. And he’s actually a nice guy but he IS a guy…

So my suggestion ( though pof.com doesn’t agree ) is find a great photographer and get some casual shots done. Vary the backgrounds. Be doing stuff you actually do like yoga or running or you know…Sudoku. Not. You get the idea. Be natural and look HAPPY but not in a fake way. Ask some friends to take pictures while you’re out, remembering B’s pet peeve, then take a consensus about which are profile worthy and representative of what you look like right now. Own your feminine power and singular beauty and get your authentic self on film.

Then tackle the printed word. I loved writing my “about me” because I found it a challenge and I’m happy with what finally came through but of course, I love writing. If you don’t feel you’re up to the task, get some help from someone who is and can articulate simply yet effectively what you’re about. Don’t be negative. Don’t be generic. Do be honest, creative and specific and showcase what makes you unique. And say it succinctly. Ha! Sorry. But really…try. And don’t forget a great header if possible. Mine says exactly what I’m looking for. I still love it to this day, almost as much as I love my son’s name which was only marginally harder to choose. Seriously.

Next, I found it oddly difficult to fill in the “interests” section for pof.com truthfully yet with possible conversation starters. I finally went with a half and half mix of girly and guy friendly, all genuine ( please! do NOT put fishing, camping or hockey unless you really mean it ) and a lot of the best messages I’ve received have been discussing one or several of my more esoteric choices. WWII, anyone? Anyone? As well,  every single guy thinks I’m so cool to have “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd on there…ha! As if. Josh Lucas rules!

Finally finally, there’s your screen name. Go with something witty or personal. I scored again by choosing movie names of my long time celebrity crush and awesomely hot 40+ single woman Sandra Bullock. I know we’re totally best friends the next universe over...totally.

So there you go…the template on how to write a profile that men want to see online and yes, it’s still encapsulated in the title:

LESS WRITING. MORE BOOBS.

Translated: A picture is worth a thousand words. Make sure yours says “I’m all this and a bag of chips. Check it out, big boy.” 

Do y'all agree with the survey peeps at chemistry.com, girlies? How big are YOUR boobs and how long is your profile? Are you happy with both? Neither? Enquiring minds want to know. 

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