Hey Men, Is Counting Two Weeks from Ovulation to PMS Too Tricky? There's an App for That!

BlogHer Original Post

App marketers are hoping that tech-savvy men are just as dim about women's mysterious cycles as Brick Hamiland from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was. Brick didn't want women in the newsroom because "I read somewhere that their periods attract bears... bears can smell the menstruation."

Scary stuff, that menstruation.

In lieu of training bears to help men interpret women's cycles, Code Red, an iPhone app released this month, is joining a group of applications marketed to guys who want to track women's periods, dude-style.

Oh, women and our crafty, mysterious girlparts, always trying to sneak up on men with our wacky cycles replete with murderous PMS impulses and craven ovulation windows. How else could a logical, mortal man know what to expect at the end of one of our mercurial rampage-filled days unless he hacked an app for that?

Other, more general, apps exist to help users track menstrual cycles for fertility, health or other reasons, which seem like great uses for this kind of scheduling tech for women and for the men in their lives. But what about the apps marketed to men to help them "survive" the estrogen in their day-to-day? Which one might the men in your life consider adding to their iPhone man-cave?

PMS Buddy

Their Description: We will not only keep you informed, but will give you some free advice on what to do about it. With PMSBuddy.com, there is no reason to ever be blindsided by PMS again.

Pros: Reminder system also has an online access interface. Social media advantage: Add it to your Facebook profile!

Cons: Crazy ads disguised as tips. "During PMS women can feel bloated and unattractive. Show her how you really feel with some sexy lingerie." That right there is dangerous for all involved.

Bottom Line: Men can track multiple women, and women can send their info to up to five recipients. Great for offices and polygamist families!


Their Description: I Am a Man will help you with your private life planning. You will know about your girlfriend's period and her mood. You can plan your dates, evening and save some money.

Pros: The app wants you to know that hacking women's cycles means more than just avoiding PMS! Spot your ovulation-related sexy-time opps with this app, and juggle a bunch of babes in the process.

Cons: The calendar shows PMS days as pink lightning graphics, which is cool, but the vampire-esque blood drops that signify "menses?" That would make me stabby to see on a guy's calendar, any day of the month.

Bottom Line: The summary screen telling you where your tribe is at in their cycles, with links to their phone numbers, says it all, Player. i Am A Man might be for you if U Are A little Boy.

Code Red

Their Description: Men's best defense against the monthly Her-ricane. Men no longer need to fear the wrath of menstrual madness. MEDL Mobile is pleased—and very relieved—to introduce Code Red: a simple but powerful menstrual calendar for men to keep track of—and survive—their girlfriend's/fiancé's/wife's monthly cycle.

Pros: Fuller look at a woman's cycle, with accompanying animated alerts for: Smooth Sailing, Horny, PMS, Ovulation, Code Red.

Cons: If a man gets really comfy with this app and actually says the phrase "wrath of menstrual madness" or repeats the app's humor outloud, that could be messy.

Bottom Line: Code Red creators say they have been together for 180 menstrual cycles. I'm not sure if that anniversary is paper, tin or diva cup, but I guess there is love in this app, somewhere.

More about the Code Red design and launch at the Washington Post, where Monica Hesse quipped,

Here we have been assuming that our lady-business skeeved you out, that you heard "menstruation" and you went "lalalalalalala." We were wrong. How else to explain "Code Red," the new iPhone period app that -- and this is really linguistically unfortunate -- also works on the iPad?

The Frisky doesn't think the world needs Code Red: "Really, guys, if her PMS or period is so bad that you need to be 'warned' about it Weather Channel-style, don’t you think you should, say, become a little more observant?"

What would you think if your paramour were tracking your cycle? Would it depend on the app used? Or do you just help out by circling a few days on the fridge calendar and shouting out an update now and then?

Contributing Editor Deb Rox loves it when when groups of women start cycling in sync. It's like the boy band, but with much more va-voom!


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