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I laughed out loud when I read this New York Times article about one Ms. Rebecca Land Soodak, a New York painter of privilege, whose 10 nannies in 12 years inspired her to write a very, very specific Craigslist ad sorting out exactly whom she wanted to hire. Those who leave crumbs or are judgy about shopping need not apply. Also, her kids are a pain.
After the blogosphere picked its collective jaw off the floor, the reaction has been prolific.
Madeline Holler at Strollerderby suspects ulterior motives:
But read the entire ad and you see three goals: (1) approval. She's a pain in the ass with kids who don't listen to her and she's rather ashamed of that. Please love her anyway; (2) a friend she can push around -- I'm just a woman doing my best. I'm willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good boy chart. stickers irritate me ... oh, and wipe off the table!; and (3) a book deal.
The nanny community hit back with its own ad on Craigslist. Demands for the employer include not mumbling about how much the nanny is being paid while writing a check and not expecting said nanny to be Perky McPerkey 24/7.
While both ads are raw and somewhat contentious, they may be on to something: If you're going to share that kind of space and time, shouldn't roles be crystal clear? Nannyblog (did I just coin a term? erm.) The Nanny Buzz reports:
While in most cases, fortunately, that’s true, in other cases things can get contentious if your understanding of the details of your arrangement is somehow different than your employee’s understanding of them. This is where ugly disputes can begin, some of which may ultimately cause the end of the employment relationship. Shared expectations are critical and, as with most things in life, the devil is in the details.
What's up with the nanny/employer relationships? Do they always suck? I have no idea. My kid goes to daycare, and it seems there is a chasm of space between paying a school-type institution to include your child in one of their classes for eight hours a day and employing a nanny or sitter to watch/entertain/teach your child in your home for the same period of time. There is a little love in the house, though. My colleague Mary Tsao writes :
My name is Mary and I have a nanny. Let me clarify: I don't have a nanny, but I employ a nanny to watch my children. I am addicted to having a nanny and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Maybe the real issue here isn't so much whether Soodak is honest or not honest, funny or flame-worthy, but whether she's someone for whom you'd want to work. I'm going out on a limb and say um, no thanks.
