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I have been a professional freelance writer for over 5 years. I have been published locally, nationally and internationally.  I am also a contri...
 
 
 
 

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Hey, Moms! Did you know we are at war? Did you enlist or were you drafted?

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And, no, I am not talking about that pesky little war in Iraq where we actually have hundreds of troops being killed in a foreign country. That only makes news when something "newsworthy" occurs because we all know a real war is such a downer to talk about. I am talking about the "newsworthy" war that we all should apparently be up in arms about. The Mommy Wars. Are you battle ready? Did you buy your fatigues and kiss your family goodbye? No? Shame on you! You are at war!

I sat down to try to write a fair and balanced report on this topic. However, there is not one thing that is fair or balanced about this media fueled war. In fact, my keyboard is whimpering in pain as I slam out these words.

Once again the media has grabbed hold of one woman's opinion about another and simply had to exploit it into the Mommy Wars. I am so sick of this being blown out of proportion and doing nothing but stirring controversy and anger. Why don't you report it as you really appear to consider it? "Good morning! Today we will be talking about another Rowrrrr Cat Fight between a few women. Stay tuned. We'll take a hard hitting look at this issue after we report on this pesky Iraq situation."

Yes, morning "news" shows, I am talking to you. Today Show? Good Morning America? CBS Early Show? I have a question for you. Who are you helping? What greater good are you serving when anytime there is a difference of opinions between at least two mothers you immediately jump on the "Ohhhhh, the Mommy Wars are in full battle mode!" and then talk about it as if all mothers are attacking each other? Is your purpose to get us fighting? Is it to make us judge each other? Or is it just so that you can get us mad enough we talk and you get the ratings? I will give you the fact that you get us talking. About you. About how sick and tired we are of being thrown into your "war" and causing strife among a massive portion of the population who quite honestly would rather find support and acceptance from each other.

Can you show me a list of the people you are helping when you are exploiting your Mommy Wars? I can certainly give you a massively extensive list of people you are hurting. Surely, that is not your intent. Is it?

I know I am not alone in my feelings of wanting to end your Mommy Wars once and for all.

A comment from techmama hits it the point many of us feel.

I also commented on another post that people seem to be missing an important point: Why does the media so quickly jump on controversial issues (by blowing it up and throwing in the word "mommy wars") without showing other opinions? Sharing opinions is just that. Has the media covered moms in support of families staying together on the road? Or is that not news worthy? Can moms have a good debate on issues without the media or public viewing it as mommy wars?

In the comments about this issueBeth -- also of Silicon Valley Moms Blog-- brings up a very important point about this entire Mommy Wars topic that gets the media whipped into a frenzy.

One point that is being lost is the media frenzy about creating "mommy wars" from opinions mom have on specific issues. They don't jump on it when moms talk about their positive thoughts - but if a mom dares share a controversial view - then they jump on it. I want to see the media share our positive messages also. I am tired of this!

Exactly! Why can't there be more stories on support, helping one another, or the tons of support groups that Moms are involved in? Where is your story on BlogHers Act? Where is your story on Moms supporting another Mom who has cancer? Those who rally around her and are doing things to support her in her life? Where are those stories?

Is there going to be a day where every woman--every mom--agrees with each other? Of course not. If I hear

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TheGreyCanvas 5 pts

I have hundreds of problems with the media these days and this TOPS THE LIST!

Although in 2007 I shouldn’t have to preface this…I guess I should by saying: I’m not a bitch for expressing my opinion or being passionate for a cause or standing up and saying NO!

The media is pulling women into their ratings war by using mommy wars as a tag line is ***potty mouth***! Shaming them, blaming them, telling them to STOP...what will work? When the women who sit there and report this stuff are into it…who can we turn to? WHO is reporting on the media and their blatant unapologetic slathering of “WATCH OUR NEWS” bombs with words like, “you aren’t going to believe this” or “see what happens next” ***potty mouth***!

The internet is exposing the media slowly but surely. You’ve put a flag up for us here. THANK YOU! We must continue to express and expose this and give women avenues to educate those that don’t stop to think what the media is dishing out these days. Basically they dish out anything thing they think will get them ratings instead of reporting the news. Apparently the media believes that arguing and opinion is more important to the public than what is REALLY going on.

And this idiosyncrasy of mommy wars…nothing like turning up the volume to get one’s attention even if it is to say, “SHUT UP!”

I’d like to say to the media, “WE ARE MAD AS HELL AND WE AREN’T GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

www.thecanvasgrey.wordpress.com ( http://www.thecanvasgrey.wordpress.com )

Freedom of choice...we make it by doing something or doing nothing...it is YOUR CHOICE!

moddivorce 5 pts

There are double standards for everything! I agree with Maria - what of fathers reporting and dying overseas and leaving small children behind!

You Go Jenn!

Helene - single, childless woman
http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com

lmilbrand 5 pts

I'm so tired of the mommy wars. It's trumped up by a few "experts" looking to create controversy and rile us up, and a few angry moms on internet message boards who don't give a damn about putting down other people and their choices when they don't have to see them face to face.

Actually, I was so annoyed about it that I actually started my blog with one of my SAHM buddies to support ALL moms, and to show that there are no mommy wars...that SAHMs and working moms get along just fine.

I think Katie Couric is very brave to go to Iraq, considering what has happened to several of her colleagues (and to many of our soldiers and many Iraqi citizens as well). I wouldn't have the guts to do it, so bravo to her.

The Mamahood
http://themamahood.typepad.com

dawn224 5 pts

So if Katie Couric is a bad mom for going to Iraq, does this mean that all the troops over there are bad parents for volunteering for a dangerous job? That all the firefighters and policemen stateside and around the world are bad parents because their jobs aren't cushy safe?

Sigh. I guess after my husband gets home from work I'll have to tell him he's a bad father.

Oh no, wait. He has testicles, he can do whatever he wants.

DanaFiles 5 pts

Funny, there have never been "Daddy Wars". The media never reports about controversial subjects about men. Like men who support their wives and children vs. men who abandon them or abuse them or murder them. There's never been a debate about that, or a war to stop those tragedies.

Instead the media feels it's necessary to make a mountain out of a molehill because one mom works and one mom stays home or one mom nurses and another uses formula. BIG FAT EFFIN DEAL. Hasn't this been going on since 60s?

I can remember my own mother saying she was ridiculed for staying home with her kids but the moment she got a job and went to work, she was ridiculed for that, too!

-----

Dear Media,

Please STOP making me feel like what I do is wrong. Until you are in MY shoes, how will you ever know how I feel or what my situation is?

Stop judging me. Stop ridiculing me. Stop telling me what to do and how to do it.

I have the right to do what makes me happy, whether it is stay at home with my children, or work outside the home, or even work at home.

I do what is best for myself, my husband and my family and I do NOT have to justify my decision to anyone. You have no right to make me feel inadequate because I made a choice that is different from another woman.

Women struggle hard enough to be taken seriously, to be appreciated and to have our voices heard.

So, please -- if you can't report about the good things we do, and the good fights we fight (like cancer, better health care, maternal health awareness, education, the list goes on...) then don't flippin' report about us at all.

Maria Niles 5 pts

When David Bloom died covering the war and left small children behind I don't recall anyone decrying him as being a bad father. When Bob Woodruff was nearly killed in Iraq his amazing return to reporting including returning the the middle east and again risking leaving his kids fatherless, his actions are applauded as courageous.

I don't need to be a mother to find the attack on Katie Couric appalling. Are only women without children allowed to report the war?

BlogHer CE Entertainment & Books
( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles )Kleenex® Let It Out™ Blog ( http://www.kleenex.com/blog.aspx )
Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

ExpectingExecutive 5 pts

Amen! Right on! You go blogger! Whoop, whoop Jenn!!!

I just ranted about this very thing with the recent inane Newsweek article. Insipid and offensive rating obsessed media jerks. And, they never wrote back. Cowards! Sigh. Grrr. ExpectingExecutive Furious with Newsweek's Yummy vs. Slummy Article ( http://blogspot.expectingexecutive.com/2007/08/06/... )

Well, sign me up for the BlogHer Mom Love In!

It takes a village to support a mother raising children.

Erin
ExpectingExecutive ( http://blogspot.expectingexecutive.com )

Lovebabz 5 pts

Jenn,

You do me proud Sister-Friend! The only way to stop this bait and switch crap is to stop it cold and your intitiative right now does that. You are saying we see what you are doing and we ain't going for it anymore! Go ahead girl--talk that talk and walk that walk! It is time to stop this insidious assault on women and the choices we make on how we go on in this world. I thank you and my daughters thank you!

Love,
Babz
www.lovebabz.blogspot.com ( http://www.lovebabz.blogspot.com )
my life. my journey.