Hey, Young Chick on the Texter: It's a Youth Thing I Don't Understand

HAHA! I just got MYSELF invited out, too! Man, that was smooth! ;) Too bad I live in rural Washington :(

My husband is fantastic about pointing out to people that they're being rude, without getting as stressed out as I do. I tend to stew about it and take it personally, where as my husband knows that the person is usually just oblivious. Then when I finally do say something, I'm cranky and defensive, because it's been ticking me off for so long, but he just sounds witty and mature. (I'm guessing this is because he's a senior officer at our state penitentiary, and deals with the nastiest habits, so has learned how to correct w/o being aggressive.)

That's a very interesting parallel you drew between second hand smoking and second hand conversations. I'm gonna kick that around for awhile!

Don't you waste a moment of time worrying about sexting, I promise you that by the time your 2 year old is 15, there will be something even MORE horrifying out there that we need to worry about! lol

Dinner together is such a big deal to me, even if it's in front of a cartoon series that we all enjoy. I don't think it's unreasonable to tell your kids that they have the OTHER 23.5 hours to socialize with their friends.

Right, it doesn't make sense to say "NO TEXTING AT ALL!" but it DOES make sense to say not to text at dinner, during a movie, this is your limit for the month, don't go over, etc...

That's how I see meeting them 1/2 way, and I text my husband's little brother quite often. I know that if I text him, it's more likely to stick than it will if I just tell him something!

Timing and appropriateness are important parts of communicating well.  Those of us who are parents, especially, have to train our children about what's appropriate and what's not.

Thanks for your comments.

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

to point out other people's rudeness without offending them.  Thanks for noticing what I thought was my quite clever (pat on back) parallel between second-hand smoke and second-hand conversations.

Thanks for your comments.

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

I forgot to mention we, too, have a no texting policy during dinner. We absolutely are role-models. :)

Notions of Identity ( http://www.notionsofidentity.com )

Believe it or not, I've texted, too, when I needed to get a message to my son or husband or daughter.  I've sent photos as well.  However, I do think as adults, we have to set standards to our children.  Some families will allow children to use their cellphones and texters at the dinner table.  I will not unless we're passing around the phone to say hello to those far away during the holidays for example.  When my children are home to visit (and other people's children who are my play-nieces and nephews) they know that these devices are not part of our food experience.  Similarly, when I took my niece to see The Urban Nutcracker recently, I told her the texter was not allowed.  She didn't like it, but she obliged.  I explained to her why it was inappropriate.

I'll meet them half-way but they've definitely got to meet me half-way.

Thanks for your comments.

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

Like you, I've seen families at a restaurant together but having separate conversations via their communication devices.  I also agree that we have to teach standards of engagement and not just accept that well "this is how teenagers communicate."  That said, I can't control what choose to do at restaurants but in a performance experience, I should not have to listen to second hand-talking or texting.  We've gotten rid of second-hand smoke.

Thanks for your comments. If you all live in the Boston area, you both are welcome to go to some plays and concerts with me.  (I'm not 'bout to go out with someone else's husband that's not a long time friend - that would be the subject of another blog!  lol)

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

I get the annoyance of texting during movies and the danger of texting while driving, and as a counselor and housemate of teenagers, the sexting makes my blood run cold. BUT...because texting is the accepted mode of communication in their generation, if I want to communicate w/them (especially those living in my house), I need to text. And my understanding of that and willingness to engage makes them more willing to divulge.We complain a lot about how our kids and teens don't talk to us, but sometimes I wonder if we aren't a bit resistant to meeting them halfway...

Regardless, your poem made me smile when I saw it on your blog, and it made me smile again here.

Lara

Notions of Identity ( http://www.notionsofidentity.com )

Thanks for your comment especially because its been the topic of conversation lately for myself.  My husband and went to a movie too and the same thing happened.  When people text during a movie it's light a flood light shinning in your face and a HUGE distraction.  A guy in that movie (who also brought a 12in subway sandwich and LOVED adjusting the paper) was texting and answering his phone too ARRRR

I also just recently found out about sexting, and how huge it is?!  I am a first time mom to a 2 year old and I gotta keep up on this crazy stuff that's going on.  And how are parents suppose to monitor text messgaes anyway...there are ways to track the computer and phone but texting??

One thing I am guilty of at times is being on my iphone while I'm waiting for our food at dinner and I really DO need to be better about that.  Because how sad to be a family like you described at dinner.  I remember dinner time being the "spill your guts time" my family growing up had great conversation at dinner time. ((Unless they were texting eachother):)

but I swear to goodness, I'm crankier than Sophia on the Golden Girls.

Does BlogHer download my thoughts? It's bizarre how timely so many of the posts are to things I just witnessed.

My mom and I had a mother daughter day today of a movie, shopping, and lunch.

The table across from us had a mom, dad, a son and daughter somewhere between 13 and 15. They were ALL texting, nonstop, until their meal came. They were great to sit next to, because nobody said anything! It was weird, and really sad, because I would hope a family at a family restaurant would, you know, connect to each other.

There are some great moments that we are missing when our eyes are pointed at a screen, and not up at the people around us.

It's hard, because that's just what teens do, and, in some cases it's how they socialize, but, there are times where it's just not necessary to do it.

Arg, the ol' boys will be boys type of argument. Our children learn from us, we have to teach them how to be civil parts of society. Tell them no, set limits and consequences. Maybe I just love telling my kids no too much? ;)

Sorry about your crumby time at the concert. This has been happening non-stop at movie theaters lately. Recently a guy was texting non-stop and even ANSWERED HIS PHONE during the movie, then had the nerve to YELL at a family whose baby started crying.

My husband handled that one (he saw the steam coming out of my ears). He said "Maybe you're making the baby cry by being the only jack ass in the theater on his cell phone."

He'd go to some plays and concerts with you, if you like!

I'm glad you like the post and discovered it on your first visit.

http://blog.candelariasilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

 Hi, first time I'm up here and see your post about the cell phone/texting phenom.  To quote someone young, OMG... How I can relate to this. I am so glad you said it for me. I think your fabulous.  Keri - - www.spitnglue.com ( http://www.spitnglue.com/ ) - - www.samwich365.com ( http://www.samwich365.com/ )