Preach on, sister! It makes me so angry that ANYONE would dare to criticize something so natural and loving. So peaceful, so full of love and grace. I yearn to see women breastfeeding everywhere I go. I think it is the most natural and beautiful of actions. I take my baby to volleyball and basketball games, restaurants and bowling alleys, libraries and grocery stores and have nursed her in every one of those locals and more!

My Blog: Impacting the Earth little, my children much.
http://www.yourimpactmatters.com

My favorite for some restaurants is where they sit you at a booth that had very little to no room from the table to the seat so that if you wanted to feed then you would whack your baby's head if you even tried. I have had this happen several times at restaurants I frequented prior to the new baby (I have three kids) and when I have asked to move to a different booth with wider seating or a  table I have been told no those are already taken. In those circumstances I have either walked out or just stolena chair and sat at the end of the table. Now I personally don't need anyone sizing up my breast while my daughter feeds so I try to descreatly cover both of us from view or with my shirt or an arm. What gets me is when people in apssing have asked if I had seen the nursing covers? Nuring covers? Does it look better if I just shelter half my body from view and fear if I am suffocating my daughter ir not? They look like a tent! I feel saddness for some omothers who use them not because they feel ok doing it but because they are ashamed to be breastfeeding?! No one should be ashamed to feed their babies! In any way! When some people ask me why I don't use a bottle, I like to just say "I'm lazy, this is easier. I don't know what I would do with more dishes and sterilization practices!" He he you hsould see the looks then. It probably doesn't help that I'm 25 with three kids either.  =)

I still don't understand why there is a debate, either.  It seems like they think we want to expose ourselves or something.  Nope, just want to do what is right and make sure everyone eats.  And breastmilk smells?  Whatever.

And the nut who said kids should stay home until they can order a glass of wine obviously needs another glass.  They are far too tense.  

In my breast-feeding experience nursing both my kids to the age of 1, it seemed that the same people who disapprove of public nursing are the same ones that get all indignant about a crying baby sitting beside them at a restaurant. I know they think we should just stay at home if that's the only option, but that's ridicules.

I think it is interesting that our society is raunchier than it's ever been. When I was a kid, none of the major networks had sitcoms that spoke openly about sex. It was always veiled. Yet, during this time, this nursing stigma remains. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cussing and T & A jokes myself, so I'm not judging those who also do. I'm just saying that it's absurd that Two and A Half Men comes on at 8 central and people get freaked out by a woman's breast that is covered by a baby and a blanket.

I'm sure I offened many people during my nursing stint, but I always figured keeping my baby happy was more respectful than letting him scream. 

Come share a laugh!

http://mommalittle.com

I'm all for women breastfeeding wherever they need to but, Catherine, your tone here is absolutely offensive to me.  You're setting up an either/or dichotomy--with us or agin us-- and that's a situation in which someone has to lose.  I would suggest that as passionately as you feel about this, your point would be more effectively made if you were less insulting to those who don't agree with you.

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com 

i have no problem whatsoever with women 'feeding' out in public. i
would much rather have that than a baby screaming at its highest pitch.
the same goes for airplanes when you are trapped at 35,000 feet with satan's
child on a cross country flight. let mom do whatever she has to do to keep the little one happy.
we are way too uptight in this country about sex, body parts, etc. and
this is coming from a diehard republican!

dave

gocalifornia.blogspot.com

What is so gross? There is no noise to breastfeeding and mostly no fuss. I've been around countless breastfeeding women. Those jerks on Chow.com need to keep their eyes to themselves! Sounds like they're staring a little too much!

I think the "gross out" factor is the patriarchal need for women's bodies to be sex objects or nothing.  And the concept of abjection is applied to us and our body parts, making part of the body seem disgusting or like not-quite-part of the body. 

-----------------
Liz Henry
lizzard@bookmaniac.net
Contributing Editor, World and Latin America

Many man do not want to think of a woman's body as good for anything but sex. It's hard for them to reconcile their porn addictions and our breastfeeding!

My Blog: Impacting the Earth little, my children much.
http://www.yourimpactmatters.com

I think I made clear in my first sentence that I am in favor of breastfeeding--whenever and wherever.  What I'm objecting to is the strawman (breast?) Catherine sets up in naming everyone who is less than comfortable with it a "boobophobe."  In her zeal for the topic, she denigrates everyone who doesn't feel as she does, and that is, to me, as wrong as outlawing breastfeeding in public.  Your defense of Catherine is admirable, BackPackingDad, but you missed my point...part of which is that intelligent debate is suffocated when one or both parties resort to namecalling.  But then, perhaps that's exactly Catherine's point: that intelligent debate on this topic is not possible because if you're "intelligent," you agree with her.  I guess that's where she offends me.  I do agree with her, but I always will defend to the death other's right to express their feelings and beliefs.  That's my political philosophy.

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com 

Nor would I...

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com 

I agree - I hate that there is a debate about breastfeeding in public.  There shouldn't be a debate.  If a mom chooses to breastfeed her child, then she should feel comfortable breastfeeding wherever she needs to do so to satisfy her child's need for nourishment.  (And if you choose to bottle feed, that's fine too).  So, moms should feel comfortable breastfeeding in a park, at a restaurant, in an airplane.  Just like a mom would feel comfortable giving her baby a bottle in a park, at a restaurant, in an airplane.

I breastfed both my children.  And I did it everywhere, proudly.  But, I had to return to work, and so I expressed breastmilk during the day.  Because of my work, I've had to pump in a courthouse, while driving, in restaurants, virtually all over.  And believe me - I got more shamers pumping than while breastfeeding.

But, in any event, my point. Because I hate that there is still a debate, I've made the point of trying to support any mother I see breastfeeding.  I will ask if there is anything she needs.  I've gotten water, crackers, rounded up stray siblings, etc.  I have complimented restaurants that made breastfeeding women comfortable.  I think that if we all did that, and showed businesses that supported breastfeeding that we supported them, we could change the world, rather than waiting for it to change.

Thanks for the food for thought 

It's funny because I am an ardent feminist, and in theory, I completely support the right for women to breast feed wherever.

But the truth is, that when you mentioned a woman breastfeeding in a restaurant,  my gut reaction was one of discomfort.

Maybe it's because I'm not a mother yet, and almost none of my friends are mothers yet, but I *do* have a hard time seeing a mother nurse her child in public. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I guess I can see where the "chowderheads" (sorry, couldn't resist the pun) are coming from.

Likely, the biggest reason for my discomfort vis a vis public breast-feeding is also the reason why women should be encouraged to do it. The more you see something, the more you become accustomed to it.

But I think it's important to engage people in why public breastfeeding can be necessary. Because, my mind immediately shoots to: Can't they do that in the bathroom/car/have a blanket on top.

And it wasn't until a friend of mine (a mother) explained to me that

a) Breastfeeding in a bathroom is gross, because HELLO breast milk is FOOD

b) Cars can get hot

c) babies often hate having a blanket covering them

that I realized why public breastfeeding is necessary.

Obviously there are some people who will never see reason, but there are a lot of reasonable people like me, who simply have some discomfort about public breastfeeding.

As for the "You see boobs and cleavage all the time, so what's the diff" argument ... well, it IS different. Breastfeeding is inherently an extremely intimate act. Think of any other act that involves the exchange of fluid from one person to another. You ... wouldn't want to see that either really. It's not really about the boob for me. It's about the fact that it's so intimate it makes you a little uncomfortable to see if you're a stranger. It's like when someone is crying in public. You aren't offended but you feel a little uncomfortable that you are witness to such raw emotion by a stranger. Does that make sense?

That's why I guess, while I fully and completely support public breastfeeding and believe that, my discomfort aside, women should feel totally fine to do it, I also understand why other people aren't huge fans of public breastfeeding.

Ruchi

http://arduousblog.blogspot.com/

I say no limits to public breastfeeding with the exception of this venue - an official state dinner.  Call me old fashioned, but in this case I'd like to channel Queen Elizabeth II, who has been trained to never touch her face or hair in public.  The only occasions where she can put hand to head is when she's messing with horses and her Hermes scarf gets in the way and when she's marching around the Scottish highlands with her Corgis.  So, if the Queen can't touch her nose at the table, then one certainly should not nurse at the same event.

God save the Queen! And public breastfeeding! 

Grace Davis
State of Grace

The provided by Catherine to my article about my aversion to feeding in public was broken, but that is me. The lady that feeds her newborn on the floor of a public washroom.

I only wish I had the comfort level that Catherine has to simply stop and feed her child where she is. I love that she's confident and comfortable enough to face the glares - the unspoken suggestive glares - even feed her child in front of a thousand women in the middle of a BlogHer pannel. I truly look up to her, and women like her - that have that comfort level. 

I would do anything to break myself of the 'embarrassment' of nursing in public. Sitting on the floor of a public washroom is not my idea of a beautiful emotionally bonding moment with my son, but it's what I have to do to be comfortable with it. I won't bottlefeed simply to avoid washroom floors. 

Reading some of the comments over at chow made me tear up. I shouldn't have even gone there because that's exactly the reason that I don't do it in public. Though I do have a hooter hider, who the hell wants to be draped in that and sweating beneath it in mid-August? 

I can be rather tough skinned at times, but not when it comes to something I am so self concious about in the first place. If someone were to approach me and say something I would probably burst into tears on the spot. 

I feel like those comments are the thoughts of the people around me
making unbearable to sit at a table, on a bench and NOT worry about
what other people are thinking. 

sam {temptingmama}

http://temporarilyme.com

There are actually two separate issues here and I think that they're incorrectly being merged into one.

a) Is it a mother's and baby's right to breastfeed anywhere they need to? Absolutely.

b) Should a baby of that age be in a fancy restaurant whether breast feeding, bottle feeding, or not needing feeding at all? in my book? Absolutely NOT.

I live by my words - but I know others don't.

We never took our daughter out to restaurants of a certain caliber for dinner when she was that age.  We *gasp* hired a babysitter or had my MIL baby sit or a close friend if we were going out to someplace where the price was high and it was clearly not a 'family friendly environment.'

So it was more than a little annoying when I was paying someone else to ensure that my husband and I and sometimes others could have a nice, relaxing, baby-screaming-free dinner to have someone else at the next table believing that it was fine for the rest of the restaurant to have to put up with her screaming infant because she wasn't going to either stay home with her child or have someone else take care of it when the venue wasn't appropriate.

Do I care if a woman is breast feeding in Denny's or Sweet Tomatoes or any other middle-of-the-road establishment? Nope. Do I care if she is at 10 pm at night in a $50 per entree restaurant? Well it's not the breast feeding - it's the "Why the hell isn't your child at home in bed asleep at 10pm??" that gets me riled up.

I know that this isn't how everyone functions. My own family and I have gone rounds on it, because my brother's wife saw no reason not to bring her daughter everywhere and anywhere with them at any time of day or night. They had issues when I refused to bring my daughter out to 'nice' restaurants past her bedtime when she was still an infant... they still don't get why I won't do it now that she's 5 and can behave like a lady in restaurants. Because it's PAST HER FREAKING BEDTIME.

Sometimes, it's not about breastfeeding, it's about wondering why I'm paying for my sitter and my dinner only to have to deal with a Mom who is self-absorbed enough to think that her baby and everyone else around her should accomodate her in order for her to be there too.

Okay - putting on my flame-retardant suit. Sigh.

Lucretia (aka GeekMommy)

Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl

I'll stand by your side and take some of the hits, GeekMommy, since the tomatoes have already been hitting me and I SO AGREE WITH YOU. 

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com 

A round of applause for everyone who is making wine from potential flames. *THIS* is how community thrives!

http://www.canada.com/vancouvercourier/news/opinion/story.html?id=ddbbc3...

"

Lactating activists milked H&MMark Hasiuk,
Vancouver CourierPublished: Friday, August 15, 2008

On
Aug. 7, more than 50 lactating women descended on the Granville Street
H&M clothing store to protest the treatment of Manuela Valle, who
two days earlier was banished by store staff to a change room to
breastfeed her two-month-old daughter.

The protest was dubbed a
"nurse-in," a spastic eruption of X-chromosomes in a clothing store
known for two-for-one T-shirts and Madonna-inspired design. Lactating
protestors, many with suckling baby in hand, held placards that read
"Babies for Breastfeeding" and "Get a room? Human rights mockery." The
controversy made national headlines and served as a rallying cry for
breastfeeders everywhere, who feel slighted by society's paternal
squeamishness.

In an effort to stop the bleeding, H&M
released a statement. The company congratulated breastfeeders for their
selfless perpetuation of the human race and opened its doors to
lactating women worldwide.

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"We
apologize. And it seems to be a miscommunication and a
misunderstanding. Our policy is to allow breastfeeding nursing mothers
to breastfeed or express milk freely in our stores," said H&M's
embattled corporate spokesperson Laura Shankland.

Following her
statement, Shankland spray-painted a pink, inverted female sign on her
office wall, burned her bra and launched into an impromptu rendition of
Ani DiFranco's "Not a Pretty Girl."

Well, not really. But she released the statement.

H&M
staff will be retrained to reasonably accommodate the company's
consumer base. The storm has subsided, and it's back to business as
usual. But only because the company caved quicker than an IKEA baby
crib.

Despite its humourous overtones, the controversy raised
serious questions about the rights of private businesses versus the
whims of retail consumers.

Of course, when H&M staff asked
Manuela Valle to take her baby (and her breast) to the change room,
they did nothing wrong. As a private business, H&M reserves the
right to handle its customers within the confines of Canadian law.
That's Capitalism 101.

According to Section 8 of the B.C. Human
Rights Code, a person must not be denied any accommodation, service or
facility customarily available to the public because of race, colour,
ancestry, place of origin, religion, marital status, family status,
physical or mental disability, sex or sexual orientation. Nothing in
there about breastfeeding. Valle apparently knows this, which is
probably why she threatened to contact the B.C. Human Rights
Commission, a quasi-judicial organization that specializes in
groundless cases based on political ideology.

H&M's error lay
not in the realm of legality, but rather in the court of public
opinion. Valle tapped a populist sentiment amongst her lactating
sisters that threatened H&M's bottom line. Capitulating made good
business sense.

But what about H&M's duty to its other
customers? The staunchly religious, whose particular sect forbids
public nudity. The squeamish or breastophobic, who prefer a definitive
line between off-the-rack retailer and nursery. What about their
expectations of comfort?

H&M also set a dangerous precedent
and exposed itself to future aggrieved groups of all stripes and
persuasions that may choose H&M outlets to practice their own brand
of necessity. Imagine a group of Salafi Muslims kneeling before Allah
in H&M's men's clothing section. Or a woebegone narcoleptic who
seeks shelter at H&M for his afternoon nap.

No matter what
future controversies await H&M, nothing will match the brute force
exerted by legions of lactating women. Valle and her band of
breastfeeders demonstrated the awesome power of maternal instinct while
exhibiting a zeal rarely seen during public protests. The
women--powered by hormonal intuition as old as life itself--seemed
uninhibited by intellect or social mores, and unswayed by cultural
inventions such as business sovereignty and consumer choice. Their
impulse to protest wasn't medieval, it was prehistoric.

Indeed, the Great H&M "Nurse-in" of 2008 reestablished two age-old axioms:

1) The desire of a private business to remain autonomous may sometimes clash with its viability in the marketplace.

2) Don't mess with lactating women. (Although most guys already knew that.)

mhasiuk@hotmail.com

Allen Garr is on vacation."

Again..I think there is a middle ground..the squeamish need to adjust or just not look and mom's need appropriate places to feed their babies...no shame..but plunking down in the middle of a store or whatever is NOT appropriate ..it is a private place of business...she could have followed her husband to the fitting rooms where he was trying on stuff...no?

But sitting in the mall to feed..sure...in the food fare...sure....

Feeding babies is a right..but again...the guy SORT of has a point

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

I think these differences may be more about lifestyle choices than about whether or not to feed your child.  Some people can't get past seeing a female nipple while others could care less, some people are strict on schedules while others live a laissez-faire way of being, some want silence in fancy restaurants and others enjoy a boisterous life... what to do, what to do... potato, potahto.  Ultimately, it's our right to nurse our children in public so like it or not, that's the way it is.  And I think it's important for me to remember context - I'm lucky to have these discussions, I'm lucky my baby is healthy, has medical attention if need be, I'm lucky I can afford tylenol and don't have to fear that my baby will die of fever, I'm lucky my baby won't be one of 40,000 children who die each day from hunger.  In that context, I really don't care if people think it's appropriate to nurse in public or not - healthy babies, that's the focus always, and everything else is secondary.  

http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/

I nursed my own five children until they were nearly a year old.  I did not feel comfortable doing so in public, having been reared with a bent to baring as little skin as possible.  But there were a few occasions when I had no choice. 

Our family traveled for the US Department of State.  We lived and traveled abroad in Europe, South America, Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia.  Being exposed to many other cultures did not change my comfort level, but I did acknowledge that if no one was paying any attention, I probably should go ahead and overcome my sensitivity, and just feed my baby.  I'd keep a blanket just around the baby's back and head, so if necessary, I'd cover his/her head and my breast.

Now married again with three times as many children, I hope to encourage my daughters and future daughters-in-law to feel free to nurse their children wherever they may happen to be, because not all travel and eating in restaurants is optional. Nor can feeding time be avoided in many cases.  I hope they understand that they can do so in a manner that will not flaunt their right, but rather will respect the comfort level of those around them.

Some malls and public places now have family bathrooms for parents (like me) who have a bunch of kids to tend to all at once.  I find these places quite clean and comfortable to sit and rest in.  I do like privacy when I nurse.  It is a very intimate act, and nursing my child in front of someone is like undressing down to underwear, which I would not do just anywhere nor in front of just anyone.

After all, living in society still implies being polite to all, regardless of their opinion.  I don't mind putting my rights aside to keep from offending others.

Deb Momofsixteen

This is not the first time I've past through a debate like this. I've wandered through many "child-free" forums and many of them seem to be vehemently against breast feeding in public. Which I think is kind of funny (not ha-ha) because they all want to be respected for their choice but don't give mums the respect of actually having the choice to feed in public. I think it is a huge landmark for women and should be celebrated by all women regardless of their own personal choices. 

Moe
Big Girl Blue, M.E. Wood lens, Large and Lovely

"Women are going to form a chain, a greater sisterhood than the world has ever known." ~Nellie McClung, 1916

You said it best about how its the intimate act that bothers you.  Plus, there are just way too many men out there who have disgusted me with their comments about how hot breastfeeding is, including a popular radio dj whom I at one time listened to faithfully.  Would the baby's father be comfortable with some pervert thinking about performing something sexual to his wife's breast?  Would the breast feeder herself be comfortable with the disgusting people who think the same way?  Call me a prude, but sadly I'm not making this up.  

I was asked to move to a changing room, asked to move to a bathroom, etcetera when I first had my son.  And I always used the "big shirt flipover" method so nothing was ever showing thanks to my mother's expert teaching, and usually a really light blanket or something to attempt to cover the wiggly little man who was always ready for his dinner. 

When did I stop just moving where I was asked?  When, of all things, I was in a Wal-Mart.  My son was about three months old. I had automatically gone to the bathroom to attempt to nurse, it was locked for cleaning, and so I was crunched down attempting to be out of the way under the water fountains.  (This is probably the only time you'll hear me say anything good about a Wal-Mart, ever. I hate it but they've killed every other store in our ridiculous little town except the lumberyard and tractor supply. Prepared? 3...2....1.....) An older employee, probably one of the octegenarian door greeters, walked past.  She stopped, walked back, and said "Honey, you can't do that there."  I was almost ready to cry, figuring I'd have to leave the store and try to take a very fussy guy to a car that was probably heated up to well over a hundred degrees and started blathering about how I couldn't get into the bathroom and he was HUNGRY.  She said "No, honey, I just mean you're gonna get a crick in your neck and be awfully uncomfortable.  Your baby's hungry, of course he wants to eat and there's no reason you can't be comfortable too." Then she brought a chair out from the employee breakroom and set me up in a little corner next to the rugs.  After that, I quit worrying about it, and just found quiet(ish) out-of-the way spots and ignored any snide comments folks made. 

I just wonder how it became an issue at all, how modesty only applies to this and not to things like seeing bras through shirts or other "fashions" like that.

I was asked to move to a changing room, asked to move to a bathroom, etcetera when I first had my son.  And I always used the "big shirt flipover" method so nothing was ever showing thanks to my mother's expert teaching, and usually a really light blanket or something to attempt to cover the wiggly little man who was always ready for his dinner. 

When did I stop just moving where I was asked?  When, of all things, I was in a Wal-Mart.  My son was about three months old. I had automatically gone to the bathroom to attempt to nurse, it was locked for cleaning, and so I was crunched down attempting to be out of the way under the water fountains.  (This is probably the only time you'll hear me say anything good about a Wal-Mart, ever. I hate it but they've killed every other store in our ridiculous little town except the lumberyard and tractor supply. Prepared? 3...2....1.....) An older employee, probably one of the octegenarian door greeters, walked past.  She stopped, walked back, and said "Honey, you can't do that there."  I was almost ready to cry, figuring I'd have to leave the store and try to take a very fussy guy to a car that was probably heated up to well over a hundred degrees and started blathering about how I couldn't get into the bathroom and he was HUNGRY.  She said "No, honey, I just mean you're gonna get a crick in your neck and be awfully uncomfortable.  Your baby's hungry, of course he wants to eat and there's no reason you can't be comfortable too." Then she brought a chair out from the employee breakroom and set me up in a little corner next to the rugs.  After that, I quit worrying about it, and just found quiet(ish) out-of-the way spots and ignored any snide comments folks made. 

I just wonder how it became an issue at all, how modesty only applies to this and not to things like seeing bras through shirts or other "fashions" like that.