Hit Me With Your Best Shot
One thing that has been glaringly obvious for me, as a person of color in the kink community, is the scarcity of other POC in the kink/fetish community. I had been lurking on a well-known lifestyle website for almost a year before I met anyone in person and the messages I had gotten ranged from slightly creepy to downright offensive. I got countless messages from people interested in race-play and although some people are into that, I'm not one of those people. I even made a point to include the words "No Race Play" on my profile as a deterrent. Unfortunately, the messages kept coming. As a female submissive, I already had to deal with the fake Doms, online Doms, men wanting to be dominated and people who were just interested in meeting up to have sex. Again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, it just wasn't on my list of interests. Besides...if I wanted to have casual sex, I could find someone in person instead of meeting with a complete stranger and possibly get murdered. No thank you, I'll pass.
Eventually I went to my first Munch (It also happened to be a date...I'm such a perv). As I walked in, I took inventory of my surroundings. The event was held at the home of a community member, about an hour out of the city on a farm so I wasn't sure what to expect but I knew that I would be surrounded by strangers. What I noticed was the demographic at the event. I was surrounded by older, white, middle-class kinksters. Maybe the lack of diversity had something to do with the location (I WAS in the Midwest, after all) or maybe it was the timing or that particular event, I couldn't be sure. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself and met the owners of the home.
The second Munch I attended was a Halloween party at the same home. This time there were a lot more people, some closer to my age, but there was still an obvious lack of diversity. The few younger people around seemed to have created small cliques and were completely focused on one another. I got a warmer welcome from the older people and even tried some new things (That's another story in itself). Even though I enjoyed myself, I happened to notice that I was one of the two black people there(The only black woman) and there were no other minorities in attendance. I'm still not sure if there are more and they just couldn't make it to either events or if its a regular occurrence but it made me wonder why there are so few minorities in the Kink community.
Is it that POC are just less inclined to explore their fetishes? Have we been taught that anything other that vanilla sex is sick or wrong? Or are POC just less kinky? Why do people assume that if you're a black woman who is into BDSM, you're a dominatrix?