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We've all heard of the concept of hitting bottom. Generally it's associated with alcoholism or other forms of addiction. But there are other areas of life in which we can hit bottom. How do we recognize when we've reached the valley and are ready to start climbing back toward the mountain top? Are there some areas for which we have to hit bottom, or is it possible to recognize that we are going in the wrong direction and pull up instead?
I suspect that our popular culture conception of hitting bottom might be a myth. The idea that there is one spectacularly awful moment at which an epiphany of crystal clarity occurs and change becomes inevitable seems to me to be a kind of made-for-the-movies fantasy. I've known addicts who have had to move through repeated cycles of seriously bad stuff in their lives and lather-rinse-repeat the experience of rehab before attaining a substance-free life that remains that way only as long as they do the hard work of making the choice every day when they wake up.
That doesn't mean that we cannot recognize when we are on a downward slide -- when we are in a space that feels rocky and uncomfortable -- and recognize that we need to take action in order to change course. That is probably a more useful story to tell ourselves.
And, any moment can become a "bottom." Rather than waiting until things feel like they can get no worse before admitting that something is a problem or not working or is no longer serving us, we can start to tune in to the radio of our lives. We can get better at pulling in the weak signals, the little voices that whisper to us and not have to wait until they pound on and shake us in order to get our attention.
Some lessons might take many cycles of learning for us to truly grasp. How much more useful would it be to forgive ourselves the need to repeat a class rather than only allowing ourselves the extremes of absolute failure and perfect success?
Part of the reason why many of us wait is because it can feel like it is safer or easier to remain trapped by inertia and await gravity's pull to wrestle us to the ground than it is to recognize our problems and do something about them. Learning and repeating lessons can be painful and scary. Easier to not take responsibility until the very last moment when we've lost all support and have run out of excuses.
There are many reasons to face the fear and deal with the pain. One is because life will not stop providing lessons and learning opportunities. We are not born whole and we die incomplete. Another reason is because the rewards for dealing with the difficult are strength, resilience, confidence and courage. While I certainly don't wish tough and hurt on anyone, the truth is we all will face it at times in our lives. It's what we do when we are amongst the painful rocks at the hard bottom of the valleys of life that matters.
Have you hit bottom, had a wake-up call or a come-to-Jesus moment in some area of life? How did you recognize it? What did you learn to help you better recognize your need for change and move forward in the future?
Related Reading:
Barbara at Recovery Happens: Hitting Bottom
Dad and Mom at An Addict in our Son's Bedroom: Hitting Bottom???
I propose a different term for this event or series of events that causes an addict to wake up to the fact that addiction cannot be a part of their life, this moment in time or life is when a person has a “profound experience”. A “profound experience” is something that anyone in any situation can experience. Large or small this event or series of events has the impact to change a life. Following a "profound experience” a person is able to gain “profound knowledge” concerning their life and the impact this experience has on their future. With this knowledge a person or addict is able to put in place the things necessary to change their life.
Brad Klontz at Mind Over Money: Hitting Your Financial Bottom
We know better, but we just can't seem to stop. Sound familiar?
It does if you have ever struggled with a substance use disorder, overeating, or any other self-destructive behavior
