Bio
I run a certified freak show out of my house and I am now offering front row seats. After years of being told that I need to write a book, I am doing...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Recent Comments

She's Going to Be Okay; Will I?

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 16
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Hello, my name is Karen and I am a crier.

I like to sob during Hallmark commercials, children’s choir performances and episodes of the Biggest Loser. I hyperventilated through the beginning of the movie Up and the end of Toy Story 3.

So it should be no surprise to me that I have been a weepy tub of goo for the past three weeks. Missy, my oldest, finishes grade school today.  For me, it’s really the end of the innocence. (Begin humming to Don Henley here.)

Missy | Kindergarten, 2005

Why is it that as a mom, there are so many long-ass days, yet the years literally fly by? I can’t begin to count how many times I would check the clock to see if it was bedtime. Or have the kids run to the end of the block to see if daddy was walking home from the train yet.

What the hell was the hurry?

Did I ever stop and take it all in?

The past six years of Missy’s time at grade school are a blur. (It doesn’t help that I can’t remember yesterday.) Most of the time, I spent worrying.

I know that it’s pretty natural for the firstborn to cause the most anxiety. It’s the fear of the unknown. I washed all her baby clothes in Dreft before they would ever touch her skin. With Junior, I tore the tags off with my teeth and threw him in a new outfit.

But with Missy, it was different.

From the moment that she was yanked into this world with forceps, she always had a little something wacky going on.

I swear that I did not drink, do recreational drugs or dye my hair during my pregnancy. And I do not have that munchkin disease where you make stuff up about your kid being sick. However, I am a borderline munchkin because I am five feet nothing.

It started with a giant mole on her head that had to be removed since it had a 50/50 chance of turning into cancer. That involved a couple of surgeries and a tissue expander. Imagine a nine-month old with a giant boob implant on her noggin. (That is a whole other post.)

Then she has some kind of lump on her back, but that turned out to be nothing and went away. From age two to five, I had Poison Control on speed dial as she dined on lead paint chips, prescription drugs and grease-mop-up stuff for the driveway.

Yes, it was all on my watch.

Alopecia in Kindergarten left her with a bald spots that I covered up with precisely placed half ponytails. First grade was the year of occupational therapy for sensory issues and core strength. Her world turned upside-down in second grade when Tom lost his job and I went back to work. She also had to help him a lot when he tore his Achilles and was “crippled” according to her.

In third grade, she had chronic ear and sinus infections, got her tonsils and adenoids removed, then got mono and missed a total of 53 days of school. It was at this point I asked my doctor for happy pills that made me crazier. Missy got caught up and passed thanks to the most adorable home tutor: an Irish nun— Sister Mary Margaret herself.

In fourth grade, she struggled with staying focused and was misdiagnosed by our doctor. The problem turned out to be related to her lack of core strength, so she was back to OT for another six months.

Fifth grade started out a little rocky with insomnia issues that lasted over a month. I was very helpful and bought every sleep cream, sound machine and meditation book on the market. When that failed, I would just try to scream her back to sleep. That did not work either.

Then, out of nowhere, she found her groove. She got a small part in the local children’s theatre group and scored well enough to finally get into the accelerated reading group. (Her goal for three years, not her slacker mom’s.)

She surrounded herself with a great group of friends who are comfortable acting goofy rather than acting older.

  • 16
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
lisah73 5 pts

I really enjoy your reading your blogs. You are giving me hope that I will soon feel as you do. I also have a 9 yr daughter born with a GCN and went through multiple rounds of expanders. She is starting to hit her groove after a crazy first 9 years...letting her spread those wings is hard!

http://searchingforsupermommy.wordpress.com/2011/1...

aliadlw 5 pts

I got married 6 months ago, don't have kids yet, but trust me, I'm just like you! I've spent most of my life worrying about anything and everything! I've been suffering from Severe Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Panic Attacks and Depression since the age of 10. I've never done anything bad to anyone, never had affairs, I'm very God fearing and religious, yet I don't know why I am like this! And yet I have a Dual MBA degree, don't know how I got through, but I did and I'm glad. :)

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

I am trying to savor those moments more now than ever. Just need to stop and Be more often.
Thank you for reading~

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

Phase_Three_Of_Life 5 pts

So beautiful! It sounds to me like you're doing a great job appreciating the special moments when they come. I'm also guilty of the "hurry up and get the day over" mentality. It's so very human to be anxious to get to the next best thing.

Blogging to maintain sanity at Phase Three of Life ( http://phasethreeoflife.blogspot.com/ ).

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

I really appreciate all your comments and support. I am a lucky mom and blogger~

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

rockstarmomlv 5 pts

I thought I had finally gained control of myself! My daughter graduated from pre-school today and I haven't stopped crying. I should've never read this! But glad I did! ;)

Rock On! RockStarMomLV.com

Forever 17 40 pts

Forever 17

I can totally relate, I have a daughter that also beats to her own drum. I sometimes think we as Mothers are more concerned than the kids. They are Rock stars and just keep on keeping on... Sounds like your daughter is going to shine bright in all she does.
Thanks for sharing, put a smile on my face!

Mrs4444 5 pts

Your pride in Missy shines through this post. I, too, am a crier. As a parent of a 16-year-old daughter and a middle school teacher, I'll let you know that there are even more days of tears ahead of you. The next several years are tough (as you may recall). That said, she's an original, a girl with style and confidence. Something tells me she'll do just fine.

Mrs4444
Half-Past Kissin' Time ( http://www.halfpastkissintime.com ) & Mrs.4444 Cooks ( http://mrs4444cooks.blogspot.com )

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

So glad that you enjoyed our adventure -- it has been one helluva a ride!

I almost fell over when she said that she wanted super-short hair. All the 5th grade girls have long hair at her school. But it fits her personality and she is rocking it! Now she wears it asymetrical which looks a lot better on her than my attempt in the eighties!

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

Yes, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for! We have no choice because we are the glue.

Grandbabies? Good grief. I am just trying to survive the middle-school drama ahead!

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

Wouldn't life be a lot easier with a crystal ball?

I was so fortunate to be surrounded by amazing moms and teachers who were more helpful than some of the doctors. Their advice and network of knowledge saved both Missy and me.

Sending lots of positive thoughts (and virtual bottles of wine) your way. Hang in there...

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

Aunt Lauren 5 pts

What a great story. I was misty-eyed at the end. Missy has gone through a lot, but seems very resilient and positive.

I especially like your mention of her short haircut that she chose to have an 'edge'. Very cool.

AprilTara 8 pts

You'll be okay. And this won't be the last time that you'll wonder if you're going to be okay. But you will be okay now and you will be okay then. We're stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Oh but then they bring you grandbabies and you get to start all over again with a whole different set of worries. ;)

---------------------------

I think, therefore I blog.

thefamilyfoodie 5 pts

Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a son, slightly older than your daughter, who has been through a million complications in his life and hasn't yet found his groove--I'm still waiting for the day when I'll know he's going to be all right. This gives me hope that the day will come.

mom-mom-mom 5 pts

I appreciate your kind words. Now I will probably start bawling all over again!

Karen | mom-mom-mom.com ( http://mom-mom-mom.com/ )

Kelly DeBie 5 pts

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Kelly DeBie

Blogger, Mom, Superhero

http://debiehive.blogspot.com