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Several years ago, recovering from surgery, I read the article and photo that changed my life.  The article was Plastic Ocean and the photo show...
 
 
 
 

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Holiday Buying: More Pressure Today Than 40 Years Ago?

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Beth Christmas 1971Once upon a time there was a little girl whose only wish was for a Barbie Country Camper. This was 1971. For simplicity's sake, let's call the little girl Beth. Beth had seen the Barbie Country Camper in Saturday morning TV commercials, and she wanted her Barbies to have the fold-out picnic table, pop-out tent, sleeping bags, and camper kitchen. The Barbie Country Camper was the first and most important item in her long list of wants that she secretly wrote and mailed to Santa Claus. And for two weeks before Christmas, she dreamed about the Barbie Country Camper when she went to bed at night.

Christmas Eve, she didn't even go to sleep at all. Butterflies danced in her stomach and Country Camper thoughts raced through her head. When Christmas morning finally arrived, she raced downstairs to find under the tree the Barbie Country Camper she'd been waiting for! She raced over to the Barbie Country Camper, grabbed it to her chest, and hugged it. And then she looked at the gift tag.

"To Fran, Love Santa"

WTF? Okay, she didn't say WTF because there weren't text messages in 1971, and she wouldn't have known what F stood for anyway.  But still, WTF?

Turns out her sister Fran was the smart one. While Beth had secretly written her letter to Santa and had faith that the old guy wouldn't let her down, Fran had told Mom and Dad directly what she wanted. Man, talk about your lesson in handling disappointment. I mean, check it out. I watch this commercial now, and I STILL want that plastic Barbie Country Camper with its toxic vinyl pull-out tent!

So obviously there were toy commercials back in the 70's targeted at children and pressures on parents to provide their kids with what they saw on TV. What I'm wondering is whether that pressure is even greater today than it was back then. I don't have children myself, but I've noticed among some of my child-rearing friends that while they try to live as simply and "greenly" as possible during the rest of the year, holiday time can turn into "The Story of Stuff." One of my relatives (who shall remain nameless) routinely puts himself into debt every year at Christmas and spends the rest of the year trying to pay it off.

In his article "Everything You Know About Going Green Is Wrong", Dan Shapley reviews two articles whose main contention is that

the stuff we buy and the packaging that comes with the stuff we buy represent our biggest contribution to global warming – far more so than the amount of electricity our stuff uses, or the amount of fuel our stuff burns on the highway.

So if that's the case, do our holiday purchases cancel out the green measures we take during the rest of the year? And how can parents resist the onslaught of advertising that they and their children are subjected to every day? According to the Media Awareness Network,

Industry spending on advertising to children has exploded in the past decade, increasing from a mere $100 million in 1990 to more than $2 billion in 2000.
Parents today are willing to buy more for their kids because trends such as smaller family size, dual incomes and postponing children until later in life mean that families have more disposable income. As well, guilt can play a role in spending decisions as time-stressed parents substitute material goods for time spent with their kids.

That was 10 years ago. Child-targeted advertising can only have gotten stronger since then. Not only are kids exposed to advertising on television, but advertisers reach them via the Internet as well as through access to advertising in schools in exchange for program funding, technology donations, and sponsorship of educational materials.

So I put the question to a range of other bloggers -- those with kids as well as those without; those who write about green issues and those who focus on other topics. The question generated a flurry of conversations on various list servs. I wish I could post everything! But since that would take many pages, I'll just highlight here a few of the responses I received.

Liz Gumbinner, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of the consumer blog Cool Mom Picks wrote me:

At least with our readers, we've seen a strong move to more
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Mom101 5 pts

Of course the greatest gifts are the ones our children appreciate the most and it has nothing to do with cost. It's a great point that we should make sure our gifts are for them and not ourselves.

But I also love that we can guide them and teach them and inform their sensibilities through the things that we give them (or those that we don't). I remember dying for a cap gun as a kid. We were not allowed to have guns of any kind. I was mad. But tooday I get it.

If consumers vote with pocketbooks, perhaps down the road your husband will have better, safer, more eco-friendly materials to work with. Even the talented, experienced toymakers like him should have that, right?

Making millions at Mom-101 ( http://mom-101.com ) ( http://coolmompicks.com )

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SueScaletta 5 pts

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I bought my daughter a Barbie Camper for Christmas one year and she absolutely loved it.  She spent hours upon hours playing with it.  She also got a huge doll chest that she adored that was filled with homemade clothes made by her grandmother.  She even had a couple of outfits she wore that matched her dolls outfits.  These are fond memories for her.

Yes, it seems Christmas was a lot simpler back then with less pressure and commercialism than today, but I remember back to when I was a child and it seemed like it was even less commercialized than when my daughter was young.  I wonder if that was because I was a child and I didn’t notice or if things have just continued to become more hectic?

Sue Scaletta
www.suescaletta.com
www.lanechase.com/blog

InkAndPixelClub 5 pts

I have kind of a weird bias on this subject.  My husband works as a toy designer for a large toy company, so I have more of an inside look at the toy industry than most people do.  And while it is a business with lots of financial concerns, my husband never goes to work thinking "How can I sell kids on more cheap disposable junk?"  He tries really hard to make quality toys that kids will enjoy playing with.  I'm not trying to say that everyone should run out and buy everything my husband ever worked on (nice as that would be); just that a commercially made toy is not automatically cheap junk and as Lisa from Condo Blues pointed out, not every handmade, eco-friendly toy is necessarily great.

I think the best presents I've ever recieved are the ones that indicated that the giver was really thinking about me and my personal likes and preferences.  Oddly, these gifts aren't always the ones I ask for.  I actually love getting gifts that are a total surprise but something that I absolutely love.  Clearly, there's a lot to take into consideration when chosing gifts: how many to give, what kind to buy, etc.  But I think "Will the person I'm giving this to really like it?" shoudl always come first.  That's not to say that you should always buy your kids everything they want.  But is that $90 heirloom doll really going to be something your kid likes?  Or is it more of a present for you?  Is she going to love and appreciate it and even think that it's cool that she could give it to her own daughter one day?  Or will she politely thank you and put the doll on the shelf, never to be touched agaiin, or outright reject it because it's not the cheap plastic doll she asked for?  (This is not a case of me looking down my nose at parents and kids; I was one of those little girls who didn't want the Cabbage Patch Kid her grandmother made for her because it didn't look like the ones in the store.  Not behavior that I'm proud of in hindishgt and I'm glad my grandma wasn't there.  Though as I recall, it was one of those things that adults seemed to think was so wonderful but my peers regarded skeptically when I tried to explained that it was a Cabbage Patch Kid, despite not looking like their store-bought ones.  Still, not an excuse for how I acted.)

Sara

www.inkandpixelclub.com ( http://www.inkandpixelclub.com )

Beth Terry 5 pts

and complicated.  But maybe that's because during most of it I was in college and then out of college and married and thoroughly in debt through all of it.  I remember my parents being stressed out around Christmas time.  My mom always seemed to be sick on Christmas day.  Like she worked so hard in the days leading up to Christmas that her body just said "Enough" once the actual day came and my grandparents were there to help out.

I can't tell if things are different now or not.  I mean, the toys are much more complicated, but are the feelings complicated too?  This is why I am asking questions instead of giving answers.  I just really don't know.

Beth Terry@fakeplasticfish
www.fakeplasticfish.com ( http://www.fakeplasticfish.com )
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SouthBayRantsnRaves 5 pts

I'm not a parent so I'm not sure about the pressure aspect to buy for children but I do feel Christmas has gotten too commercialized over the years. I am a child of the 80s and even then it was a lot more simpler than it is today. We need to go back to that.

Beth Terry 5 pts

@Mir ( http://twitter.com/Mir )  I love the way you tie in the gift-giving with the meaning of the holiday.

@threeundertwo ( http://twitter.com/threeundertwo )  Yep.  It's me in that dress, which was handmade by a friend of my grandmother's.  She also created a similar dress for one of my dolls.  But see the disappointed expression on my face?  It lasted through my teen years.  Oh, what I put my poor mother through.

@Diane ( http://twitter.com/Diane )  I have no idea how Christmas got so complicated.  But Michael and I have uncomplicated it.  Usually, we go to a movie and then a Chinese restaurant.  Or we stay at home and watch The Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar on DVD.  :-)

Beth Terry@fakeplasticfish
www.fakeplasticfish.com ( http://www.fakeplasticfish.com/ )
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threeundertwo 5 pts

I don't know if that's you in that picture, but it's priceless.  I probably have one of me just like that somewhere.  And how clearly I remember wanting that camper!  I knew the commercial before I played it.  I never got one either (mom said Barbies were 'oversexed').  See you in therapy.

I think this is such a timely and important post and I wish new parents would take it to heart.  I think the most important thing to remember about  Christmas and gifting is to set up traditions and expectations when the children are very very small.  It's so easy to give too many gifts to very small kids because it's so deligtful to see how much they enjoy them.  But if you instead emphasize the joy of homemade gifts and a small number of gifts, the kids will hopefully be a little less greedy.

We don't watch tv at our house, so I'm lucky that my kids aren't exposed to the endless advertising.  However, at their tween/teen age, their real influence is their peers.  According to my daughter "EVERYONE has an iphone and an ipod touch."  Too bad she's not going to be just like everyone, because she's not getting those.

I provide worksheets for my kids at the beginning of December that ask them to list things like gifts they want under $10, favorite charity, best gift they ever got etc.  There are always some surprises and their answers are very touching.  That 13 year old who wants the iphone?  Her favorite gift of all time was the teddy bear I made for her when she was about 5.  There's hope.

(here's a link to the worksheet if you want to use them for your own family) http://litandlaundry.blogspot.com/2008/12/christma...

Diane MacEachern 5 pts

Diane MacEachern www.biggreenpurse.com ( http://www.biggreenpurse.com ) Diane@biggreenpurse.com

Beth, Thanks for an incredible post. That story about your sister talking to Mom & Dad while you were talking to Santa is a classic! I love all the perspectives you've captured here - it makes me ask: how did Christmas get so complicated? Think I'll go back and read Little House on the Prairie, especially the chapter when they celebrate Christmas with a simple family dinner.  Happy holidays!

Mir Kamin 6 pts

One thing I adopted with my kids early on was the "three gifts" mentality, the justification being that Jesus received three gifts for Christmas, and so do they. I find it helps to keep things under control, and is also for us in line with our religious beliefs and remembering why we're celebrating Christmas in the first place.

We have plenty of extended family looking to spoil the kids, and we try to steer them towards books and clothing -- things we consider necessities, but which are still fun for them to receive (my kids are old enough that they kind of dig getting clothing from someone other than me).

I was a single mom for years and we had quite a few lean holiday seasons; now that economics aren't quite so dire for us, I do find myself sometimes thinking "I should give them more." But what I find we do now is talk about what sorts of things we could all enjoy as a family. Besides, it turns out that we get more use out of the $6 Scrabble Slam game on camping trips than some of the other "oh I have to have it!" electronic toys the kids have gotten in the past.

--
Mir Kamin (BlogHer contributing editor)
Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda ( http://wouldashoulda.com/ )
Having it all with less: Want Not ( http://wantnot.net/ )

Beth Terry 5 pts

@ ( http://twitter.com/ )InkAndPixelClub ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )  It is good to hear from someone with ties to the toy industry.  I'm sure there are many toy designers who work for the joy of creating toys that children will love to play with.  Perhaps the smartest thing parents can do is to limit the number of toys they buy, focusing on the one toy they know the child will love, rather than insisting on eco toys that might be a waste of resources after all if the kid doesn't like it.

That said, is there some way we can change the way that conventional toys are manufactured that is easier on the earth?

@ ( http://twitter.com/ )Mom101 ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )  Yes. Even though I don't have kids, I feel like it's the parent's job to teach values.  I'm glad my mom didn't buy me everything I wanted.  I remember a huge tantrum I threw in a toy store because my mom said she would never buy me one of the $100 life-sized dolls that I wanted so badly.  (Back then, $100 for a doll was a lot.  A beautiful smaller Madame Alexander doll only cost about $20-$30 as I recall.)  I thought it was so unfair that she wouldn't budge.  But because of her thriftiness, I've learned to save money and have not found myself in debt like so many others.

@ ( http://twitter.com/ )SueScaletta ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )  It is hard to remember, isn't it?  And our memories are from a child's perspective, so we have no idea what it was actually like for our parents.  Your daughter's chest full of homemade doll clothes sounds divine.  I would have LOVED that as a child.  Even back then, I could tell the difference between well-made doll clothes and the cheap crap Mattel was putting out.  But Mattel wasn't always that way.  I also remember inheriting a huge case full of 60's style Barbie dolls that came with fantastic dresses, shoes, even wigs!  The quality has gone down with prices over the years.

I wish I had pictures of those beautiful clothes.  But I did dig out a photo of some of my Barbies in outfits I made them out of paper towels one summer at my grandmother's house.  The Barbie in the middle is one of those originals.  Her hair is painted on so she can wear wigs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fakeplasticfish/41543...

Sometimes when we didn't have enough Kens for our Barbies to have boyfriends, we used the Barbie with painted hair as a boy because, you know, the only difference between boys and girls is the length of their hair.  Just imagine!

Beth Terry@fakeplasticfish
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