On Christmas eve, I was
visiting someone that brought a message from London for me, despite not
liking visiting the Island especially on Christmas eve. Well, The
Activist had to do what she had to do. I mad my trip, I was running
late so I had to take a commercial motorcycle popularly called Okada in
the Western part of Nigeria.

We
proceeded in our journey. I noticed the rider was trying to tell me
something but if I tried to inquire, he would just look on. He, at a
point shifted into my laps and I had to move back while wondering if he
didn't have enough space to sit to begin with. Before I got to my stop,
he looked back and asked me if I was crazy! What? I was still trying to
digest that unbelievable utterance when he dropped another one. He said
" I want to kiss you"!

Now
imagine if I had not known what to do or how to handle a maniac like
the rider, things could have got worse. He might be a rapist. The
stereotype would let us believe that women are emotional meaning that
in that situation, I should just give into crying and get confused. No,
handled it right. I asked him to halt infront of a police officer and
the rest was history...

Another
incident that I would like to share happened in December 2007, a year
before this rider's incident (not on Christmas eve though). I was on my
way to see a doctor because I had taken ill. I had to get off at a busy
place called Oshodi in Lagos to take another bus to my destination. As
I was making my way through the crowd, a guy just grabbed my butt!
Well, when I turned back with reflex action, I had given him 3 dirty
slaps before I calmed down. I didn't bother waiting to see who would
sympathise with me since my voice was too weak to alert the nearby
police officers. If I didn't leave the scene on time, the Oshodi boys,
would give justice to the " butt grabist" and embarrass me. I know how
they operate so, I didn't wait but I defended my self before leaving
the scene

The
Oshodi incident happens to a lot of ladies in our big markets in Lagos.
There are all sort of harrassment from the male marketers. They pull
you and rough handle you while pretending they are marketing their
goods and all. So many other incidents that I can't begin to name have
being endured by women and girls. Rape
cases that can be avoided, violence against our bodies by those we
trust with no one to help. So, since we have got ourselves, what do we
do?

This brings me to what I believe is a must for every woman and girls to learn Self defense skills.

"...If you see or sense problems on your way,

just change your route and - prepare to run or

defend yourself..." — Caroline Young

What
does self defense mean to us as women? In my organisation, we had a
summer camp in Technology for female secondary students last year. One
of the acitivities at the camp was to bring expert in martial arts to
teach the girls little but effective self defense they can use to get
themselves out of any danger. Did they love it? Did we feel happy to have initiated this? Oh yes!

“Self-defence is what we do to make our lives safer

on a daily basis. ” It’s about taking control of

situations in which you’re to be made a victim -

this ranges from comments to physical attack.

It’s realising that if someone does not respect your

boundaries, you should stop them. There are

many different strategies for this - saying something,

yelling, leaving, fighting - the important thing is you

DO SOMETHING!

By learning some basic principles of self- defense, as a woman, you are already in control. There are articles you can read up if you click on the links I provided or better still look for a self-defense or martial art expert to put you through. Not only you but your daughters, your female friends, your sister, our mothers and your female colleagues

In
this 2009, I will be happier to see a violence free year. I know this
is possible. Let's us all make it difficult for hoodlums, assailants or
whatever logo or names they bear to get to us. It's our responsiblities
to be safe. Let's self-defense skills be one of our safety cateria for
2009