Homeless, Hipster, or Redneck: A Guide to Distinguishing The Younger Generation

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Kristen Howerton
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Rage Against the Minivan

I remember as a teenager that my mother was often aghast and confused at the things I found fashionable.  This seemed especially true whenever one of those trends was a throw-back to something she had an association with from her own childhood.  When I went through a bohemian phase, I remember her asking me why I would want to dress like a hippie, the word hippie dripping off her tongue with the same contempt that one might use for the word pervert or cancer.  I remember rolling my eyes and wondering why my mom was so lame.

And yet, here I am in my mid-thirties, struggling with the growing feeling that young people and their fashion choices are confusing me.  I don’t want to be completely out of touch, so I still subscribe to the Urban Outfitters catalog.  Although, as I flip through it, I often find myself wondering if these clothes are for real, or meant to be some ironic joke.  Rompers?  Suspenders?  Paisley MC Hammer pants?  SO CONFUSED.

And yet, I saw something yesterday that went beyond confusing.  In fact, it disturbed me quite deeply.

I’m talking about the hipster mullet.