I could rehash the issue of kids and online bullying but I've done that and I've lived it - a 12 year old who attempted suicide, resorted to bullying to survive the bullying she was receiving and a move to home schooling, which probably saved her life - but I've done that.

I could also talk about the fact that children have difficulty handling power - make no mistake about it, a cell phone or a computer in the hands of a child = power. But, I won't do that either - it's a given.

What troubles me is that our children go online to research a paper or to find people who want to talk about politics with them or review music or movies or to research potential colleges and what do they find? They find adults verbally attacking anyone who they feel like attacking.

That's my problem. That's what I can't wrap my head around.

I have been involved in more flame wars than I can count and in almost every case, the adults involved had children. How does that happen?

I've been known to be very outspoken about issues that I feel strongly about. I'm not an advocate for all sweetness and light, all of the time. And yes, there have been a couple of times when I've crossed the line - I can admit that and I've admitted it to my children because I want them to act responsibly online. I want them to learn from my own mistakes and from the mistakes of others.

I've talked to my kids about flame wars I've had to "moderate". I've shown them posts that are being removed and explained what went wrong. I've shown them blogs where horrible horrible things are happening and talked to them about why it's harmful to involve yourself in those situations.

And still, I worry because the number of hate sites is growing. Remember F****** company? The Dark Side of iVillage? Sites like that are NOTHING compared to what's out there now.

Why is that? Shouldn't we be more sophisticated and mature about our online presence? We are adults, after all. If we can't handle it - how will our kids ever learn to handle it?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

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Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
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