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I am a Home-Reared Chef. I don't have a degree from a culinary school, but I have earned my title through years of experience. I am a Foodie! With my...
 
 
 
 

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A House Divided Only By Mere Miles

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How far is too far, or too close, to live to family? If you ask me, the closer we are the better, as long as we each have our own kitchen to rule. My immediate family—father and mother, brothers and sisters—has never really lived very far from each other, at least not for long. Though we’ve moved around a lot, we’ve lived from as close as 10 easy minutes in driving distance to as far as 5 leg-cramping hours away. And that’s only because we’ve been a family on the move—moving hither and yon, for work and school reasons, and the occasional loss of a job.

My husband is native to New York, Long Island, though both sets of grandparents originated from worlds away: Norway and Germany. Many of his family are still living in New York, Vermont, and Virginia. So they are quite a distance from us. But my dear familia are all settled in sunny California, though my mother came from San Salvador, El Salvador, and I was born in Managua, Nicaragua.

I love family togetherness, and absolutely revel in the idea that I can get in the car and be at my mother’s or either of my sister’s houses in a matter of minutes. And though two of my children have just recently moved (and I’ll have you know I did cry bitter, lonely tears), they are only 45 minutes away. Still, by my standards, not nearly close-enough.  Sigh!

There is something to be said for family closeness and unity; there is constant support and spiritual strength. There is ready love within arms-reach. So though I want my children to lead lives of their own and raise their own families, I still want them near.

I want my cake and to eat it too. I want it all!

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Jane Collins 100 pts

My family is spread far and wide and I hate it. My son is in L.A. I have one sister in Florida, one in New Mexico, and one in Southern California. My brother and mother and father are all in heaven, which is the loneliest "far away" of all. If I had my way, all my friends and family would live on a giant compound, where we could each have our own houses but still be walking distance. I should have been born in the 1800's, but I would really miss my iPhone. Great post Virginia!

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

Jane Collins Jane, a woman after my own heart! I thought I was the only one that felt I was born in the wrong century, and the only one tho want, as you so perfectly said, "all my friends and family would live on a giant compound." That is ME to a T!!

Wouldn't that be just awesome? Oh, but now you would be included as one of my friends that would live near by. :)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and then kindly leaving me a comment too!

BIG virtual hugs!

~Virginia

elaineR.N. 618 pts

I could only sigh when I read your post today Virginia. I so wish my daughter and I lived in each others neighborhood. However, I have to be thankful for Skype and Facetime, as it allows us to chat while looking at each other. You are so fortunate to have your family living close by you. In fact, I want to live close by and stop in to sample your wonderful cooking while sipping a glass of wine in your warm and homey kitchen chit chatting about life and all that entails. At least I have your virtual friendship!! You are the best.

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

elaineR.N. You make me tear, Elaine. "sipping a glass of wine in your warm and homey kitchen chit chatting about life and all that entails." That is just the sweetest thing you could have said all year to me. Today I am feeling very blue, and so you have lifted my spirits. Thank you, and I wanna give you a really bi, BIG hug! :)

elaineR.N. 618 pts

HomeRearedChef I felt it here all the way across the United States. That was one awesome show of affection. Hope today you are enjoying lots of love.

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

elaineR.N. I am feeling and enjoying lots of love, Elaine. And today is Valentine's Day, and hubby is grilling rib eye for me. And he has also picked up a nice bottle of Shiraz to go with our steaks. I am so excited for dinner. And we will actually get to enjoy this evening alone. Yippeee!

SunbonnetSmart.com 795 pts

Yes! So true! One cook to a kitchen. Other than that, move next door and come over for coffee...can't get enough. So happy you all live so close. So much to be thankful for...and in your NEW home! Fondly, Robin

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

SunbonnetSmart.com I hear of others that their family lives far away and across the country, and I'm complaining about my children living 45 minutes away. What a brat I am! :)

SunbonnetSmart.com 795 pts

HomeRearedChef HA! No...45 minutes sounds too far...I'm with Momma. So close, but yet so far....probably better for everyone...but, never admit it! Fondly, Robin

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

SunbonnetSmart.com I promise never to admit it. :)

cookingwithkary 180 pts

HomeRearedChefSunbonnetSmart.com

Aw Virginia we love you! It is all relative to what you are use to. I moved from San Diego 23 years ago, mom & dad in Idaho, sisters in Spokane. One son in our town, daughter 4 hr drive away with grandbaby & oldest son. We are all over the US and it is really hard some times but it is what I know. So there you go, complain all you want. We are here for a shoulder to cry on! Hugs, Kary

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

cookingwithkary Awe, Kary, you are so sweet! Many people would say that I should be crying and complaining. But here you will allow me to. Thank you, dearest Amiga! :)

DonnaWannaHolla 19 pts

How lucky you are to have such a loving family and to be so close. I am not so close to mine. I love my siblings but they are scattered across the south side of the states. My loving family is mostly me and my husband and my boys. That's the best love I know.

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

DonnaWannaHolla Well, our family has had a lot of up-and-down feuds over the years ~ jealousy being the worst ~ but being the oldest living child, I work very hard at keeping peace in the family. And by the Grace of God it is working. Now I am having to deal with my eldest daughter and youngest son having problems. Wouldn't you know it? It older one is jealous of the youngest. Sigh!

I am so very glad that you have found love in your little family circle. They are what counts, after all. Enjoy! :)

By the way, thank you for the follow. And I look forward to us getting acquainted. Undoubtedly that is what happens when we blog and comment, we learn about each other.

Virtual hugs,

~Virginia

edavis 94 pts

I think too many in our family enjoy exploring Elsewhere, but I know I yearn to find just the right perfect small town for our friends and family (and us) to move to. It would be wonderful to walk down the street to visit. I know the grandparents would like it as well.

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

edavis Exactly! If I could build a village to keep my family close, I would. lol! That is just in my little fantasy world, obviously. I really love my familia, but I am so nuts about my children. They were the best thing that could have happened to me...the only thing that made any sense in my once crazy, crumbling world. :)

Thank you for the visit, dear friend!

tennismama 52 pts

You are so lucky to have most your close family nearby!

I also want it all too!

When my older son was five, i.e. 2 and half years ago, my husband and I talked about him and his future. I realized that he might move to somewhere else to go to university (college in American I think :) university and college are two different words for Canadians). I got in panic and started to cry. My husband asked me why I was suddenly crying. I told him that our beloved child would leave home soon. And I think this made my hubby numb. He said "In 13 years!"

But, Virginia, that is fast approaching and I'm afraid.

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

tennismama I know you know I know how you feel. I am going through withdrawals now. But my son is calling me at least a couple of times weekly. He knows I need a dose of him. And my youngest daughter chats with me on IM every day during her lunch time. So that helps to sedate me. :)

So 2 of our kids have recently moved out and are sharing a house. Hubby and I rather like that; they are taking care of each other. And in come our oldest, with her two sons (9 & 10). So we've had a trade-off, and I won't feel the empty nest with a huge bang. Sigh!

In the meantime, try to relax and not worry. No, not yet, alright?

BIG crushing hugs!

SunbonnetSmart.com 795 pts

HomeRearedCheftennismama Ha! Helps to sedate me...LOVE IT! That's SO TRUE. We need a daily Mommy dose...don't we?

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

SunbonnetSmart.com Better I get a dose of my children than a dose from the booze cabinet. lol!

neekswrite 99 pts

tennismama I don't know, tennismama. If Your 13 yr old is like mine was...the prospect of college might not be so bad...LOL. (I have a teenaged drama queen)

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

neekswritetennismama Isn't life just grand? :)

victorias_view 2261 pts moderator

I would love to have my cake and eat it too! I miss not having my sister so close - we stay in touch everyday but sometimes it would be nice to chat over lattes :)

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

victorias_view Let's see: my mother and younger sister are coming over for dinner tomorrow. And next Saturday my youngest daughter and son are coming with their beloveds for dinner. I think hubby and I spend most of our weekends cooking for the familia. lol!

Truth be told: we reel them in with food. We've got them hooked. :)

victorias_view 2261 pts moderator

HomeRearedChef I think I would be reeled in with food too ;) A full house always warms the heart!

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

victorias_view It really does. Doesn't it! A house full of love and friendly chatter... Oh-yeah, that's the life. :)

SunbonnetSmart.com 795 pts

HomeRearedChefvictorias_view Do you care if "out of the family" members are jealous? I LOVE hearing about your grand times breaking bread...and now I am jealous! Much Love, Fondly, Robin

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

SunbonnetSmart.com Robin, from the bottom of my heart I can honestly tell you that you would always be welcome to break bread with us. :)

Hugs, my sweet dear friend!

neekswrite 99 pts

I live next door to my Mother and it's such a comfort to know that she's right next door. I'm right there if she needs help with paying a bill online, or putting books on her Kindle, lugging around 50 lb. sacks of chicken feed or mowing the yards.

I wish my brother and sisters all lived nearby, they are all spread out across the US. Well, one can pray!

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

neekswrite OMG, Monique, you are such a good daughter! God bless you for being such a comfort to your mom. And if I remember correctly, Melanie also didn't live far from here parents. She, too, like you, has been a great comfort and help to her dear ones.

I only live 10 minutes, by car, away from my mom (she and my baby sister live together). And hubby and I are taking my mom out to dinner tonight, and then bringing her back to our home for a movie. In this way my sister has a night out.

I think we are lucky women to have our parents so close, in hugging reach (I still love to hug and kiss my mommy). :)

Much love and blessings to you, dear friend!

neekswrite 99 pts

HomeRearedChef No way! I took my mom out for supper tonight too, in fact we just got back! Great minds think alike I guess... wait, did you take yours to Walmart? LOL

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

neekswrite No Walmart, and NO movie either. But she did throw up her dinner. I almost brought up all my food too, hearing her heaving. To share a family secret here, hubby drove crazy down a winding road. lol!

As I type this I am saying it aloud, and he is giving me dirty looks. :)

neekswrite 99 pts

HomeRearedChef Poor Mama! Tell her come ride with me, I drive like a total old lady! :)

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

neekswrite That's what they say about my driving, too cautious. lol! Unless I am chasing someone who has cut me off and offended me. Really! I may need Anger Management classes. lol!

SunbonnetSmart.com 795 pts

neekswrite WOW! 50 pounds of chicken feed? My kind of women! Fondly, Robin

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

SunbonnetSmart.comneekswrite I was thinking the same thing, Robin. "50 pounds of chicken feed?" I think I may be afraid to arm wrestle Monique! lol!

isthisthemiddle 1135 pts

Your children would never willingly stray far from you. Or your kitchen, LOL! Another great post, Virginia. Nablopomo will never get the better of you!

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

isthisthemiddle Nor of you, querida! I am SO loving your posts. I talk about you to my youngest daughter and younger sister all the time. They are both English Majors: my sister worked for a Job Corp. school, and my daughter taught at a Junior college for a while. So they can relate to your awesome talents.

I am so proud to tell them you are my "Friend!"

BIG hugs, Amiga!

souschef 147 pts

For the most part I prefer to keep my family close!

But you and they go where they gotta go!

HomeRearedChef 1810 pts

souschef "they go where they gotta go!" I know, and understand this. For example, both my husband and my youngest daughter's husband moved out to California in search of jobs. They didn't want to leave home. They left because they really had no choice. That is what worries me about my own children. So I sit at home always worrying and hoping that they don't find the necessity to move very far away. Sigh!

Hugs to you, my friend,