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Ok, so I have been wanting to post/blog/shout/write to this topic for some time. I'm open to any and all thoughts and comments as I find the topic fascinating to say the least...
Housewife Ho. This all started when I went to a baby shower for a neighbor of mine. I should first say that I'm from the 60's and 70's generation. I just turned 50 a few months ago so perhaps that speaks to itself -- you be the judge.
My much younger neighbor (31) in a family friendly neighborhood was having her third child. She invited me along with a number of her girlfriends to celebrate the event. Other than her mother and mother-in-law, I was the oldest person there. I was also the only working woman and wife there. All of the othe women were similar in age to the Mom-to-Be.
Gone were the more innocent baby shower games. They were replaced instead with "mani-pedis" and waxing. As we patiently waited our turns and drank our Mimosa's and Bloody Mary's, I began to listen to this group of women and became both fascinated and horrified at their conversations.
At this point, I should let you know that I am a career/business woman and only recently married at the age of 46. Not because I never wanted to marry but because I was so busy working I forgot to pay attention to time and my personal life (this is another blogging story altogether!). My husband is a professional as well and neither of us had been married before.
We had no interest in having children at this stage of the game. We both come from a two-parent working family. Our mothers were a combination of June Cleaver, Jane Goodall and That Girl rolled into one.
Back to the shower...
These women were "dressed to the Nines" with name brands I only barely new. The hostess' home had little-to-no furniture and there were two speakers hanging out and off of the ceiling. There was a large black SUV in the driveway and not so great landscaping out in front.
Their conversations were very similar and centered around their loser husbands. How they didn't have enough support, they were always gone traveling on business or other stuff, they played too many video games, they didn't pay attention to their kids, they were jerks; and the list went on and on.
They talked about payback in the form of "no sex" and the hostess with the hanging ceiling speakers also said her water heater was broken and that when her husband got home from his business trip, she was throwing the kids at him, going to the spa and telling him that he had to fix everything or no more sex.
I was amazed at the tone, the accusations and the overall tenor of the conversations around me. I had little or nothing to contribute for a variety of reasons. In a nutshell, these women were mean and unhappy. Where did they get the idea that this is what marriage and relationships were about? Where did they get these over inflated ideas of entitlement? Why did they think they were so great and wonderful? At this point, the term "Housewife Ho" lept to my mind.
What was the difference between them and the not as well-dressed woman hanging out on a street corner? They thought that by having sex with their husbands and producing children was the currency for everything else they wanted in life. Fulfillment, happiness, things, "bling", etc. It was though their husbands were the Johns and Pimps in their lives and they hated them both!
What made them think they couldn't or shouldn't pick up the phone and call Sears to come out and give an estimate for the broken water heater? What made them think that they had no role or responsibility for the relationship they were in and chose?
One woman said that her husband wanted a big screen TV and she told him he couldn't have it unless he built her a swimming pool in their backyard. So, he got her a pool and he got his TV. How does that work exactly? Your husband goes and gets a loan from a checking or savings institution that you are not part of. He signs your collective lives away for a $50,000 pool and then he goes down to the local electronics store and writes out a check for a large TV and then everybody's happy? Now he makes a large loan payment every month (or
