Housework is a 4-letter word

Day 2 of the Great Cleanup of 2012 is set to begin in 5-4-3-2…. did I tell you about the time I procrastinated so much that …………………….

Oh, right – housework. Why don’t I just self-flagellate while I’m at it? It’s clear how I feel about cleaningand it’s spelled f-u-t-i-l-e.

The Cleanup looks to be a long and bloody campaign (I broke 6 nails yesterday and they were already short – tragic, hein?) and supply drops will be needed. Red wine or microbrewery beer please. When you’re using a doll-sized brush to scour the tiled surface of a bathroom, cleaning takes on monumental proportions. Throw in washing every door (curse you double-door closets), baseboard, floor, and wall, and maybe I’ll see my family again by July of next year.

That’s if we’re all still here. On Earth. The Mayans were sketchy with the details, but basically they cast a giant pall on any planning past this December. Way to go partypoopers.

There was a point in here somewhere. I’m suffering from a cleaning bender hangover so the focus is a little off. Also I could still be feeling the effects of vinegar and lemon fumes.

Not sure what inspired me to clean the entire house less than four weeks before Christmas with such fussy fervor. Yet here I am. Rather there I will be, once I stop procrastinating finish this very important communiqué.

Maybe I’m avoiding things? Like the 38 projects I agreed to.

Nah.

Perhaps it’s simply that my house has turned into a cautionary tale of what happens when good moms go rogue and find every excuse (plus invent a few more) to avoid ho*&ew#@k. When Houses Attack. Think HGTV will buy the pitch?

vacuum cleaner, vacuum, floor, wood floors, dirt, photograph, cleaning

Apparently the dirt is supposed to stay INSIDE the vacuum.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s livable and I can even entertain after a good once over, but the untidiness and general ‘where the hell is my [insert whatever is missing]‘ state of it all was driving me batty. Thanks to my German side I’m occasionally possessed by Frau Organizer. When kids make cracks about the chaos under the bathroom sink you know you’ve sunk to new lows.

But no more. I’m conquering the beast. I will never surrender. I will be victorious.

Send reinforcements please.

http://jackstrawlane.com

Kat @ jackstrawlane

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