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Holiday weight gain and holiday overwhelment, while seemingly dissimilar, share a common root. Contrary to popular thought, they are not caused by too many holiday parties, high calorie foods, or family expectations. Those are the correlations. Do they contribute to the cause? Absolutely. Will addressing them solve the true problem? Nope. If you want to have a different kind of holiday, one that honors your needs, and what you want---including zipping up your jeans in January----then you need to dig deeper. Holiday overwhelment and weight gain are both symptoms of disconnect: a broken link between your spirit----what you truly desire---and your personality----the obligations that keep you from honoring those desires.
When you're honoring your truth---living by your spirit---you won't be as inclined to eat too many rich foods, avoid the gym, or indulge in other forms of self-sabotage that lead to the extra pounds and burden of too-much-to-do. In the following ten steps, I show you how to honor your internal truth, so that you can feel good January 1st, and look in the mirror with pride: not just the satisfaction that comes from fitting into your clothes, but, more importantly, the satisfaction that comes from living according to your deepest values.
1. Feed your spirit. Do you miss yourself? Do you feel like you don't know who you are anymore, or what you like? Are you stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage, such as avoiding exercise, overeating, or excessive drinking? These are all signs of a deprived spirit. Your spirit doesn't like to be ignored, and will get your attention in one way or another. Better to feed your spirit with regular self-care---15-30 minutes a day is all it takes---then to suffer the effects of a neglected spirit. If you don't think you have 15 minutes, think of the time you spend in those destructive patterns, like eating in front of the fridge, or watching mindless TV. Turn off the TV and take a walk, read a poem, take a bath, call a friend, or put on headphones and listen to beautiful music. Over time, as self-care becomes a regular practice, your spirit relaxes, softening your need to control your natural desires for good food, pampering, and pleasure. You don't stuff yourself with brownies because you know that, if you're feeling downtrodden, that you will make the effort to be gentle with yourself.
2. Uncover the essence of what you want. The holidays are a time of huge internal and external expectations. It's easy to hold a mental image of the perfect holiday, and then feel disappointed when it doesn't hold true. One way to ease this disappointment is to uncover the essence of your needs. What is a "perfect" holiday to you? Describe it. Then ask yourself, what needs are being met by that perfect scenario? Is it connection, community, joy, creativity, play, hope, beauty, or love? Often, we commit to things without thinking. But when you are aware of the essence of what you want, then you can flex and bend and find ways to meet your need in a myriad ways. So, for example, if your need is for connection with friends and neighbors, perhaps you can arrange a caroling outing, instead of feeling obligated to make presents for each family. Or, maybe it's attending a community feast. Or, attending a holiday concert. There's isn't one right answer, but many possible solutions.
3. Let go of what no longer serves you. Ask yourself two questions about your holiday traditions: What do you need to let go of in your life right now? And, what is waiting in the wings to come to you in its place? Tradition and ritual are meant to serve you, not keep you bound in servitude. We often keep up with outdated traditions out of a sense of duty and familial guilt. Can you release a tradition that no longer speaks to your life right now? Do you long to simplify your gift buying? Do you want to stay home instead of travel to see family? Do you want to skip the Christmas baking? One of the quirks of being human is that we often don't feel like we can change our minds. We think that decisions, habits, traditions are set in stone. But you always have a choice. No, or "not this year" is an option.
4. Make peace with Christmas letdown. Much of my unnecessary hustle and bustle around the holidays came from
