How to Be Awesomer: Stop Believing Everything You Think

photo of life preserver in the dunes by daspunkt on flickr My partner forwarded this TedTalk video to me today, Why Aren't We Awesomer featuring Michael Neill. (Scroll down; I embedded it for you.) Partner and I have really had a challenge lately; so many of the bad habits that have developed over our nearly 15 years together have assembled themselves into a miserable sludge blocking out a lot of light and even more love.

I don't like admitting this in public, but I am counting this as one more step in the direction of independence from worrying about what others think and from having to keep up appearances. I am grateful for the sludge; he and I are both so capable of powering through things that it took a mountain of sludge to slow me the f*ck down; he can speak for himself.

No matter how insightful and competent I may be at helping my clients — as most coaches and therapists already know — walking my talk at home is often the hardest.

Why? Because the pretend realities are so firmly entrenched over decades and generations of group and individual acceptance. There is such a large scrapbook filled with "These things are true" and "It's who we are" and "Because of you or that, I am like this." Hurt is such a powerful thing - it causes people to seek out explanations, then cling to them as a last ditch life preserver. Then the life preserver becomes an appendage, inseparable, when it was only intended to be there for those rare emergencies.

The amazingly awesome truth, though, is that reality is actually a projection, not something fixed on a TV screen. And from the "Good News, Bad News Department," my thoughts and your thoughts are the projectors. This is another way of saying, I create my own reality.

So sit back, watch this video and see if you can relate to this reality. It enabled a massive shift in my energy and moved me off the pity pot. This technique is simple, not easy. I can tell you, it works. I especially liked the way he spoke about suicidal ideation. #icanrelate

After watching: Play a game with reality. Change your thoughts and see if your feelings and actions change. Then see if other things change around you. Bet you they do! You are creating your own reality, so you might as well create the one you want! #NoteToSelf

Photo Credit: Untitled by daspunkt on Flickr

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