How to be the Sexiest Piece of Ass at your Local Tot Gym

Monika Whitney, over at, was a lot like me as a single person...only with more grace and style, trust me. She agreed to teach me how to be the hottest mom at the Tot Gym and maybe even be a little friendlier, too. Go check her out! She's worth it.


Long ago, back in the days before I was anyone's mom, I was the center of my own Universe.  Every morning I would wake up at 5am and go to the gym where I would do 1 hour on the elliptical trainer.  If it was a Monday/Wednesday/Friday I'd do a weight circuit as well.  After the gym I'd take a quick but thorough shower, never forgetting to exfoliate. I'd dry my hair, put it in an updo,  paint on some makeup, slip into a dress, step into a pair of heels and head off to my job. There I'd spend the whole day working my ass off in my not-for-profit job so I could 'make the world a better place' and get myself ahead at the same time.  When I wasn't working, I had every available opportunity to improve myself. And hell, why not? My only responsibility in the whole world was looking after myself!

When I found out I was pregnant, I was 100% certain of one thing: I was going to do all this stuff again the second my baby was born.  A few days after my baby was born, I was going to be back on that elliptical.  Surely I'd be one of those moms that was magnificently put together, even with a newborn.  Especially with a toddler; after all, it's so much easier once they are older, right?  Of course.  All the women around me would stare in awe at how together I was and they'd be knocking down my door for advice.  The life of a parent would be oh so glamorous for me.
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