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Unwilling to fully abandon my Chicago-area upbringing, I live in Manhattan with my husband, my teddy bear, and a 10 lb. rabbit, but insist on calling...
 
 
 
 

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How Bodies Assert Space in the Public Domain

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While I believe that women's bodies are generally regarded by society as public domain, how we assert our bodies in the public domain is a very different story. If our bodies are generally considered accessible for observation (and often times touching), then it makes sense that women would internalize a message that space is not ours to control. I came up with this theory while riding the subway in New York City.

Since I've lived in New York for over 14 years and am a frequent user of public transportation, I have had lots of time to observe and participate in the subway environment. It is rare for me to encounter a woman who takes up more than the space that she needs on the train, even if it is not crowded. What I mean by this is that women tend to sit in the amount of their space that their bodies occupy, no more than that, and sometimes, even less than what they need in order to wedge themselves into a narrow spot on a crowded train. When women do use more than the space needed for their body, it is almost always because they have placed a bag or package on the seat next to them.

Men, on the other hand, often sit down and then spread their legs are wide as possible. This will often block access to the seat space on either side of them. Clearly, they feel entitled to more space than their bodies require. I am sure in some cases that it is more comfortable to sit as sprawled out as possible, without regard for the space other people are entitled to occupy. In other cases, I think that the space abuser is doing so because he is asserting that he simply deserves more space than other people on the train. These are the men who refuse to adjust their positions when other passengers (women or men) say, "Excuse me," and attempt to sit down. Sometimes, another rider will attempt to force the space abuser to give them the space that he or she is entitled to by smooshing himself or herself in the limited space while shooting fireballs at the abuser from their eyes. This may or may not work, depending on how much the abuser wants to assert dominance.

At any rate, it is very unusual for me to notice women hogging up an entire bench. When they do put their items on the seat next to them, it is typical for them to remove them without being asked to as other people enter the train and move to sit down. There are times when other riders must first request a woman to move her bag so that they can sit, but unlike the men who take up multiple seats by aggressively spreading their legs, I've yet to see a non-mentally ill woman refuse to comply witht the request. (Although to be fair, some women are absolute bitches about it, muttering and shooting eyeball darts, furious that they can't dominate the space, but not really aggressive enough to defend what they see as their turf.)

The seat situation annoys me. But it is the pole situation that really makes me wonder why men believe they have more right to comfort and space than women. For those unfamiliar with New York City subways, each car has a series of bars and poles for standing passengers to hold on to. The horizontal bars come down from the ceiling, and are positioned at a height that is comfortable for people who are over 5'4" or so, which is the average adult. (For the record, I'm slightly under 5'2", and when I grab the bar, it stretches my arm to literally the fullest point I can reach. Not exactly comfortable, but doable.) The poles run vertically from the floor to the ceiling, making it easy for people of all heights to grasp at a point that is comfortable for them. People cluster around the poles, each holding on at a different level. In theory, this is very democratic, or even Marxist ("to each according to his ability, to each according to his need)." I am a big fan of the pole.

The problem is when one rider decides that the pole is there for his exclusive use, and he leans his body against it. I

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Suzanne 5 pts

I don't really think of this as a weight-related issue, though. If someone is larger, he or she is just larger and that's the way it goes. To me, this is more of the issue of taking space that one is not using and thus depriving others of the space they require.

But I hear you on the pregnant woman issue. Sometimes I think people are so wrapped up in their own worlds that they legitimately do not notice when pregnant women are standing. Other times, I think people are afraid to offer a woman their seat because they think she is pregnant but she isn't. The rest of the time, people are selfish. :)

Suzanne Reisman ( http://www.blogher.com/member/suzanne-reisman ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

heartseverywhere 5 pts

I completely agree and probably (or not just because) I too am a 5'2" NYC suway rider. People get on with a sense of entitlement. They're angry and in a hurry and feel that their $2 bought their seat; consideration, politeness and human courtesy is not required.

If you're severely overweight on an airplane seat, you have to get two seats but on a train, it's equal opportunity seating.

Yesterday during rush hour there was a 400+ man taking up half a bench made for 7 or 8. He was spread out and SNORING so loudly that my 6-year-old and I starting laughing out loud.

And don't get me started on offering seats to pregnant women ... 

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mashadutoit 5 pts

I'm going to have to look out for this over here - I dont think I have seen this in our trains.  As far as I remember, every one seems to keep to their bit of space regardless of gender.  But maybe I've just not been noticing.

Depending what class you travel in (we have first and third class, rather like the first and third world.  Whatever happened to the 2nd world?) you get differenly squashed.  Third class is often popping right out of the doors and hanging on between carriages, which give personal space a whole new meaning.  And you are more likely to have your pocket picked than to be groped.

I have noticed that some people seem more comfortable to take up audio space, as it were.  I cant tell why one lot of people are irritatingly loud, while another lot are just fun to listen to. Maybe it has more to do with my own level of irritability.

What is certainly true over here is that black women seem to have no right to their own body space or privacy.  Its very normal to see a total stranger (always a black man) walk up to a black woman of any age and treat her with total lack of respect, touching her, joking with her and making comments.  The women always react with a friendly lack of engagement - sort of - "if I keep on smiling he will leave me alone".