How do they walk in these things?
While sitting on the pleather seats in the San Diego Airport terminal, waiting for my Southwest flight, my gaze over the computer screen reaches calf level and a sea of ankles as throngs of humanity passes through. I have a perfect view of people striding, limping, and stumbling by in their shoes. Ok, most people are sensible, and wearing flip-flops, athletic shoes or flats, but every once in a while, I’m treated to the Project Runway contenders. These chicks are in some fabulous and fierce shoes, which 4, 5 and 6 inch heels. We’re talking stilettos here, and the only red-carpet around is for the first class passengers to use to get on first!
These girls aren’t just walking, they’re lugging oversized roll aboards and have heavy carry on’s, while chatting on cell phones.
Platforms, wedgies, sling backs. Sure, I’ve tried on these are shoes, I’ve even held on to chair backs as I’ve tottered over to the mirror to admire them for about 20 seconds, until the balls of my feet start screaming at me, “What are you Thinking? Get these off me!”
I have this friend, Sarah, who is in her 20’s. Sarah used to be a model, is tall and thin, drop-dead beautiful, and I’d hate her, except she’s sweet to her core, hilarious, bright and self-deprecating enough to put other normal-looking mortals at ease. She admits that even she, of long legs and Olympic ability to walk around on her toes all day in leopard print stacked platforms has to practice walking in Fabulous Shoes.
Still, I have one lingering question. Where were these shoes when I needed them? And where were the cute kitten heels and stacked platforms that add 4 inches to your height and make everything you wear look fabulous? Is it my imagination, or weren’t shoes in the 70’s and 80’s boring and clunky? I was coming of age when Birkenstocks were cool, and those of course made your feet look like Barney Rubble’s. These shoes truly are an orthopedic surgeon’s best friend, and a good way for them to fund their retirement.