How to Get a Man to Buy You Jewelry
I was recently spending some time with high school friends, who were marveling at my ability to get Mr. A to upgrade my engagement ring twice in seven years of marriage. At the time, I couldn't think of anything I had "done" to deserve the special treatment. Then I realized that on two occasions during my marriage, I provided my husband with two items that together would bring any man to his knees (no, these two items were not me and a full body binder sack). And after these two occasions, I received DIAMONDS.
If you have not already been acquainted, let me introduce you to the amazing combination of bacon and chocolate. Bacon = yum. Chocolate = yum. Bacon covered chocolate = RIDICULOUS! We are all well aware that I really do not like to cook. But creating this amazing looking and tasty treat is super easy and will make any man die over you. And buy you stuff. All you need are a few ingredients and a strong desire to receive a gift.
- 12 THICK slices of bacon (~one pound)
- 12 ounce package of high quality semi-sweet chocolate chips (I like Whole Foods 365 brand)
- 1 Tbsp shortening (optional)
- Preheat your oven to 375°F.
- Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. You can just place the bacon on the paper and bake, but I prefer to fancify my swine. On top of the parchment, I crumple aluminum foil into long thin strips and lay the bacon over the strips to create bacon "waves" (see first image). Bake bacon in the oven to your liking - 15 for chewy to 20 for crispy.
- Remove from oven and allow bacon to cool. Transfer to plate lined with paper towels to absorb excess grease.
- Using a 3 quart saucepan, fill with water and bring to a boil. Once water is at full boil, reduce heat to a simmer.
- Set your double boiler insert over the simmering water. Add the chocolate chips and stir with a fork until smooth and completely melted. If you want a super smooth chocolate consistency and even easier application, add the shortening in with the chips.
- Line another baking sheet or cooling rack with parchment paper. You can coat the bacon by dipping the bacon into the chocolate with tongs or spoon the chocolate over the bacon. Then place the bacon on waiting parchment paper.
- At this point you can add a number of toppings to the bacon to add some extra oomph. My favorite topping is kosher salt, Mr. A's is peanut butter drizzle (3/4 cup powdered sugar, 1/4 cup honey roast creamy peanut butter, enough milk to give drizzling consistency). You can also add crystallized ginger, cayenne or black pepper, finely chopped nuts, melted white chocolate, brown sugar, dried fruit.... the options are endless.
- Refrigerate to harden chocolate quickly.
- Serve your man (preferably in the nude).
- Enjoy new jewelry!
If you prefer to remain a tiger in the bed and not in the kitchen, you can order up something equally delicious - Mo's Milk Chocolate Bacon Bar. I recommend buying 20 bars, storing them in your freezer and pulling them out whenever you 1) are in trouble or 2) want something. It works. Trust Mrs. AA.
Come check out my site - Frenemom - for more!