How to Hypnotize a Chicken

Before I introduce my guest blogger let me just say...

This is honest to goodness All him. There is no way I could even THINK about encouraging him to do anything this random or ridiculous. He is just awesome all by himself :).

I have been giggling off and on for a couple of days just THINKING about you all reading this...

Sometimes I love my life!

 

 

  

Today I would like to introduce you to my son Levi.

Levi is 8 years old, smart and funny, and stinking adorable.

He is in the 3rd grade, a great video game player, and all around fabulous kid.

He was given a book for Christmas that taught him lots of new things...some of which he tried.

He wanted to share one of those new things with you today.

(He was also compensated for this blog post...a going rate of $5.00)

So here is his first, all by himself (except me typing) blog post.

Take it away Levi!

 

Dear Readers,

 

First thing...

This information is from "The Boy's Book, How To Be the Best at Everything" by Dominique Enright and Guy Macdonald.

 

This will work on any chicken. If you want to do this you choose a chicken, you want to pick one that doesn't really care about stuff. In my experience, it was a very crazy chicken. You want the chicken to know that you are the boss. Hold it so that it know's you are the boss but don't hurt it.

 

Lay it on it's side and so the wing is tucked in. The side of it's head is laying on the floor too.

Put your index finger against its beak. I read it as it works in the dirt probably better.

But, you put your index finger on its beak and you drag a one foot line from its beak and tell it a calm word so it doesn't feel scared.

It will go into a trance but, to wake the chicken up all you have to do is raise your voice until it gets out of its trance and runs away.

 

If you don't have a chicken ask someone to try it out on their chicken.

If you can't get it out of it's trance just buy it for supper.

Cause if you can't get it out of it's trance then they don't have to live with a chicken that doesn't really do anything.

 

 

This is the equipment I used, you might not need as much because the chicken I hypnotized was a wee bit nicer then I expected. What you'll need is some boots ummm, gloves, a coat, snowpants, uhh protection goggles, ski mask, the hood for the coat, and if you want a mouthguard. 

 

 

 

This is me holding the chicken to get it ready to flip it over.

 

 

This is the chicken when I put it in the trance, it wouldn't move a muscle.

 

 

This is me poking it to see if it will get out of the trance.

 

I'm not sure if it will come out of it's trance so I will have to call the place where I got the chicken to hypnotize tonight. And see if I have to buy it for supper tonight. I will tell you.

 

If you are a butcher you can use this so it calms down and then you can kill it.

 

Sincerely, 

Levi (I found a green Lincoln!)

P.S. Every 100 comments Mom says is an extra dollar, so please comment.

P.P.S. please do nice comments

P.P.P.S. you are the best readers I've ever heard of. Cause you are the only readers I've ever heard of. O-tay! Bye!

 

Thanks so much Levi for sharing this useful tip! I bet there are lots of farmers out there that would love to know how to do this! And thanks to the family that let him borrow a chicken for hypnotizing! You are so brave!

Please leave Levi some comment luv to let him know you think his first post was oh so awesome!

Or if you simply enjoyed it :).

Or if you are a butcher.

 

Yep, you all only wish you were me :)

 

UPDATE: In response to some concerned comments...we did not nor ever were going to kill a chicken. The chicken was not harmed. It fell asleep. Yep, it was okay. And the comment he made about the butcher was a joke. Sorry if it offended some, it wasn't intended too.

He didn't really hypnotize a chicken. Of course not. But the fact that he thought he had...and still thinks he did...is amusing. At least to me. But he is my kid :).

 

 

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