How to Keep Him Home
I saw an interesting conversation brewing on Twitter about keeping a man happy and at home, so that he does not stray to the next woman willing to please him in ways she thinks his woman is not. Many times, women talk about how much they do not want to lose their man to some "ho" that is doing this and that to any and everyone's man; and they swear that theirs would not fall into this trap; however, on the flip side of this, many women are not willing to do the little things that men enjoy thoroughly to keep him from having wandering thoughts about what that alleged "ho" could do that you are not doing. So, upon reading several different tweets, it made me think:
What are some of the top ways to keep a man at home?
Well, here is what I came up with; as far as what I would think would be the foundation to making sure your man has no reason to even think about another woman satisfying him.
1. Do not lose sight of what got him into your home in the first place.
Most times, women will go all out at first. You take an extra 30 minutes to get ready for date night, you cook him a romantic meal at home, you buy him little gifts that may seem trivial to you, but you know will make him smile, and the list goes on and on for most. The problem with this is, once you have achieved this feat, and he has established his place in your home, you tend to slip into a level of comfort. Your appearance on your usual dinner date has dropped down to just casual, you're ordering in more than cooking and even the one we tend to want to ignore, the weight begins to gain. Now, do not be alarmed; we are all human and this has happened to us before, even me, but the key is to not be too comfortable for too long. My remedy to prevent this is to always remember what got you where you are in the first place. Always revert back to those first couple of months, most people like to call it the "honeymoon phase", where everything that glitters is gold. When date night is approaching, pamper yourself. Get your hair, nails and feet done, wax or shave, even go to the spa; make it like it is your very first date with this man and you want to be that showstopper he fell head over heels for. Make your nights more intimate by cooking his favorite meal. Sit by candlelight, or cook in his favorite lingerie for an unexpected surprise ;). If weight is beginning to become an issue (for you, him or both), work out together, play a sport, become kids again and run around the park to get your exercise, but make it FUN! Buy him a special gift and leave it on his side of the bed, or in his bag when he goes to school/work. Whatever it was that hooked him before, make it an effort to keep those same things a consistent piece of the pie that is your relationship. Never let the little things go.
2. Be his woman in public, and his freak in private. SERIOUSLY!
Now, this portion may get a little gritty, but I'm here to deliver the real deal. You may not see it out right, but there are scandalous women out in this world, fiending for a good man, and they will not hesitate to scoop yours from under your nose! With this being said, I personally live by the philosophy to keep my hip in top condition, so that the only place my man even thinks about is H.O.M.E. Being a woman in public is usually the easier part for most. You are basically being that classy, sexy, smart, down to earth and outgoing woman that your man is proud to brag about to his friends and family. You are the woman whom his parents adore, and the woman his friends wish they had in their own lives. Your man may even like a little string of a 'hood chick' on occassion; however, that is not the personality you want to display 100% of the time.
Now, this is where most women (in my personal opinion), could lose their man if they are not careful. A freak in private implies just that; a F.R.E.A.K!
First off, I am NOT condoning being a freak in public. What man wants a woman who displays her prize for every man to see? The freakiness in a woman is something a man cherishes, and he is proud to know in confidence that he is the ONLY man who knows how his woman is behind closed doors. To me, this portion is a very critical part of a relationship. I have talked to several of my male friends, and most times, I have heard that a man will cheat, to find what he is not receiving at home. He still loves his woman, but there is something lacking and he is sniffing it out to find it somewhere else, then he will return home. Now, as women, if our man is sneaking around trying to find something in another woman, we are quick to make him leave and go be with whatever he found in the streets. But I question women who feel this way, "Do you think he would have snuck off, had he been receiving what he needed at home? And has he been expressing this to you, and you have blown it off?" I, in no way condone cheating; but sometimes a woman has to really look at the situation and wonder if she ignore crucial signs. For this reason ladies, you need to make sure your man is satisfied, very regularly. Don't worry, if you are handling your business properly, he will not stray, and will return the favor ;).
I recommend having a conversation with your man about his likes, dislikes, etc. and throw yours in their as well. Get to know each other on a physical and intimate level, because that is also an area of a relationship that needs to be sustained in order to have a healthy relationship. Next, make a conscious effort to execute these likes. For example, if your man likes to role-play, I say make your acting debut! If you have not done it before, try reading an exotic scene out of a book (Zane has several of these) and re-enacting the scene. Once you get comfortable, buy a costume, or create your own costume. Spice it up and I'm sure if that is something he likes, he will be pleased. There are several other examples, but I think you catch my drift. There is no limit to a fantasy and no boundaries to what a man may want to try when the doors are closed, so if you are willing, I say try it out. Start off slow, take it one day at a time, but I'm sure the effort will be much appreciated! Remember the old saying "What you won't do, another woman will!"
3. Give him space to be a man!
Men are....men, lol, bottom line. Sometimes, you have to let a man be a man. If you have a good man, he knows how to be a man, and still respect that he has a good woman at home without tarnishing his relationship. I never said let him be reckless, though.
At a certain age, men have outgrown the "party all night, drink yourself into a coma, be a dog all night" mentality, and his idea of being a man is playing video games, watching sports, and hanging out with the guys having a few beers. They could be playing cards, hanging at a bar, having a football watch party, etc. You may not like it, but men tend to need their space. Yes, he is all about you, but he also would like a little guy time, just as ladies love to have their girl time. You never want to smother a man, because at that point, he will get out and be so consumed with the fresh air, that he will rarely ever be home. A few tips could keep you from ending up on the receiving end of a cold shoulder from your man:
- If he likes playing video games, let him play them. Most times, guys are only playing for an hour or 2. Take that time to read your favorite book, write a blog entry (like I tend to do), listen to your favorite music, surf the Internet, give yourself an at-home pedicure, etc. His guy time could easily fall in line with your girl time, then when you are both done, you have time for each other!
- If he is with his friends, whether it be at a sports bar, playing a card game, or even playing video games with them; again, LEAVE HIM BE! Do not blow up his cell phone asking where he is at, do not try to barge in on his time by accompanying him to the bar with his friends, and DO NOT try to interrupt the sports broadcast (lol). If you have a good level of trust with your man, don't dial his number every hour when he is away because you are upset that he is out. Let him have his time out. If he respects your relationship, he will be home at a reasonable hour. And most times, drinks with the guys is just that, drinks with the guys.
There are several other ways to keep your man from straying, but I do believe that these 3 things are the best suggestions to get you on a good start to keep your man right where he belongs. Keep these things in mind, and you and your man should be very happy, and he won't want to be anywhere but at home with you!!