How To Make the Perfect Mate

I watched Weird Science for one reason and one reason only: to learn how to create the perfect significant other.

Here are the steps you need to follow:

  • Cut out pictures of what you want your significant other to look like (e.g., eyes, hair style, etc.).
  • Cut out pictures of the other traits you like (e.g., E = MC2 for intelligence).
  • Feed the pictures into your computer scanner.
  • Place a Barbie (or Ken) on a Life board game.
  • Wear a bra on your head.
  • Take a pic of you wearing the bra on your head and send it to me. This step is essential.

 

In addition to learning how to create the perfect significant other, I also learned…

  • When boys spend a lot of time in the bathroom, they are not combing their hair. They are tossing off.
  • “Tossing off” means…look it up. This blog is rated PG…most of the time.
  • Slushie-ing didn’t originate with Glee. Nor is it specific to school. It can also happen in the mall.

Good luck creating your perfect man or woman!

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