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I wrote at BlogHer a couple of weeks ago about how parents can deal with the issue of teens and tweens who are desiring expensive, designer clothes. A healthy, common-sense discussion ensued, with many parents chiming in with their hopes of teaching their kids about contentment, frugality and reasonable expectations.
But in the two weeks since that post, there has been considerably more economic sky-falling. Parents are having dinner-table discussions with their kids about what this means for them. Instead of just steering kids away from designer clothes and purses, many parents are considering cut-backs of a more drastic nature, ones more noticeable to kids.
So, parents wonder, how much information is too much? How do you paint a realistic picture of the situation for your children, without creating fear?
Megan of HalfPint House has a nine-year-old daughter who overheard a troubling CNN report in a restaurant. When she asked her mom, Megan explained clearly and simply:
I told her that we were all hearing a bunch of things on the news about Wall Street now because the people who make decisions with other people’s money made some bad decisions. Some really bad ones. And that a lot of people made a lot of bad decisions with their own money. Some really bad ones. And what this means is that all of these people - the ones who made bad decisions for everybody else as well as the ones who made their own bad decisions - are in a lot of trouble right now, trouble that needs help.
Melissa Schorr of MSNBC has written an excellent article full of specific tips on the subject, urging calm, honest discussion like Megan's. Rule number one, of course, is to take into account the child's age:
“You can’t be telling your 5-year-old the economy is faltering and we might go into the Great Depression,” says Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, “The Money Coach,” a financial expert based in Mountainside, N.J. and co-author of “The Millionaire Kids Club” book series. “But my 8- and 11-year-olds do know the word foreclosure.”
Additionally, Schorr suggests a dose of calm honesty is in order:
Don't just react to the negativity in the news, says Elisabeth Donati, executive director of Creative Wealth International, a Santa Barbara, Calif., non-profit that runs Camp Millionaire, a summer camp for tycoon-minded tykes. She cautions that parents should fully understand the situation first, before unburdening their worries to the children.
“Teach kids that everything in life is cyclical — and that goes for financial markets also,” says Donati.
Susan Heim, a parenting author, has made a similar list of practical suggestions, including promoting family togetherness, encouraging inexpensive activities, and setting limits without feeling guilty for it:
Despite what they might tell you, it won’t be the end of the world for your children if they don’t have the newest video game system. This is a good time to teach them about priorities—food is more important than games—and delayed gratification. These are good lessons to teach your children all the time, not just during an economic crunch.
As Heim points out, this financial down-turn may provide parents with the opportunity to teach lessons that are valuable regardless of our nation's economic situation. CreditMom wrote here at BlogHer a few days ago about how her family is pulling together as a team:
Do they get it? Not fully but they do understand conceptually we are in a time of major belt tightening and we all need to do our share. So now when we shave a bit off their allowance and curb our dining out events they at least have a basic understanding of where we are coming from and are part of the "team".
Additionally, parents--and kids--might benefit from some historical perspective. After all, the WWII generation grew up in a time of economic hardship considerably more serious than the one we face now. Schorr's MSNBC article suggests:
[Consider] enlisting a grandparent to talk to your child about growing up during the Great Depression.
“We have talked about our parents’ memories of that experience — many of which are not as bleak as one might imagine,” says James Garringer, 52, a father of three in Muncie, Ind.
