How to mutiny in 10 easy steps when your husband gets on your nerves

My husband Scott is the skipper of our little boat which makes me the crew. There are a lot of important tasks and duties that the crew needs to be able to carry out effectively and one of them is to mutiny. This is an extremely important skill that every sailor and wife needs to know how to do. We’ve all been in those situations where the skipper of your boat is being really annoying and getting on everyone’s nerves.

Those days when the skipper seems way too concerned with your inability to tie what he thinks are proper knots and then he gets really cranky when he can’t untie your “Ellen Special” knots which you use instead because they're much easier to tie but which he finds hard to untie. For some reason this makes the skipper a bit testy. I blame the fact that he drinks too much coffee.

Or those days when the skipper gets all irritated because you forget (again as he likes to point out) to untie the fenders from the boat while you're motoring out into the harbor and they fall into the water. And it is really his fault because he complained that your "Ellen Special" knots couldn’t be untied so you tied the fenders on with knots that come untied easily. Like when you’re motoring out and they untie themselves. On their own without any human intervention.

Or those days when he asks you to bring him some coffee but the boat is all tippy so you bang your legs against everything and you get some really giant and very unattractive bruises everywhere. Really, your skipper drinks way too much coffee already. Does he really need more when you’re out on the water?

Those are the days when being able to effectively mutiny really comes in handy. Up until now, I’ve held off with the whole mutiny thing because:

  • I didn’t learn it in my sailing course. It seems like a really important skill. The instructor must have run out of time otherwise I’m sure it would have been covered.
  • I don’t know how to sail or operate the VHF radio. Skipper Scott has been really lucky so far. The only reason he hasn’t “accidentally” fallen overboard is because I don’t know how to sail or operate the radio.

But this is all going to change. As in life, it is important to keep learning new things when it comes to sailing, so I’ve been studying up on the whole mutiny thing. And here is what I’ve learned which I want to share with you because I imagine your skipper really gets on your nerves sometimes too.

 Click here to read the 10 easy steps for a successful mutiny.

What does your skipper/husband do that gets on your nerves? If only it was so easy to "mutiny" on land too.

Ellen writes about what it is like to live on a sailboat and her transition from landlubber to salty sailor at The Cynical Sailor

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