How My Son Is Trying To Kill Me, or, Why Jenny Lawson Is My Hero
Yesterday afternoon, I was making dinner as Lawton and Cecilia left for softball practice. Will had finished his homework and was wanting to watch TV but I declined his request of shiftless loafing and told him to go play instead. We decided that I was going to finish getting the spaghetti going and then go for a bike ride. He was going to "dink around" in the meantime.
About five minutes after this conversation, I was finished and went to the garage to find Will and leave for the bike ride. And he was nowhere to be found. I called and called, ran all over the house, walked up and down the street - still nothing. Hopped on my bike to see if I could see him down the road somewhere, but was pretty unsure about what was going on because both his bike and his scooter were still in the garage. Rode to the pool area - nothing. To the cul de sac where he likes to ride to - nothing.
Came home, wondering if maybe he was just somewhere inside and hadn't heard me. (I know, pretty impossible to believe with my big mouth, but still.) Then it dawned on me that he may have sweet talked Lawton into letting him tag along to softball practice and no one had told me. Called the husband - no answer. Called a friend who was at practice - no answer. Called the husband again. Called the friend again - he answered, got Lawton and they confirmed that Will was not there either. Lawton began to jump in the truck and race home and I was hanging up to call the police. About forty minutes had passed since I started looking and serious panic was setting in.
As I walked outside, just dialing 911, I noticed movement near the stop sign. Here came Will, walking down the street carrying his skateboard and elbow pads. The look on my face must have been enough because before I even started talking, he went on about how sorry he was, please forgive him, he loves me, etc. I began my sniffling teary diatribe about knowing where he is, making sure that I know where he has gone, and so forth but about halfway through it, I realized that my entire body had been practically singing with adrenaline that left so quickly I just flopped down on the ground.