How Perfectionism Can Lead To Postpartum Depression

Meditation is a powerful tool for women (even perfectionists!) dealing with postpartum depression and other stresses that can follow childbirth. Mommy Meditations, http://www.MommyMeditations.com was developed with the help of Dr. Kerri Parks, ObGyn, who personally battled postpartum depression and the grief of losing her husband days before the birth of her fourth child. Mommy Meditations can help new moms recognize distress and ease into their postpartum bodies. Please check out the website and if you think it's something that could benefit your website visitors, please include it as a resource link.

http://www.MommyMeditations.com

This thought struck me: I thought all the other mamas were breezing through new motherhood. That everything for them was easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy. They went to mommy and me classes looking perfect.

One of the greatest gifts a friend gave me was telling it like it is; telling me how hard it was and letting me know that I wasn't alone in struggling to get through those early months.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Interesting thought. I don't think the study means that perfectionism is the one and only cause of PPD. Perhaps you were a perfectionist but you may have also been hereditarily or biologically inclined to get it as well (based on your family history and/or brain chemistry), which would make you clearly not at fault.

Plus, those of us who are perfectionists aren't exactly choosing to be this way. I look at is as a personality trait. I can control it to some extent, but I can't seem to eliminate it entirely.

Katherine Stone at Postpartum Progress ( http://www.postpartumprogress.com ) @postpartumprogr

This is very true. Having a new baby is hard for ANYONE. For those who ask how to know if it's really PPD, I ask them whether the symptoms they have are impacting their ability to function on a daily basis. If that's the case, and if they are already past the normal baby blues period of 2 weeks postpartum, then I suggest calling a doctor.

Katherine Stone at Postpartum Progress ( http://www.postpartumprogress.com ) @postpartumprogr

Wow does that describe me. My therapist has been encouraging me to write about my experience with PPD, but for some reason it is so difficult to share this particular experience - which is a strange feeling because I have no problem sharing pretty much anything else ever.

But I will say this: "...as opposed to just saying what they think people want to hear" was a huge factor in the depression that gripped me from about 16 weeks pregnant and snowballed into a postpartum whirlwind of misery through which I am still trying to navigate. The more time I spend staring at the post in my drafts folder titled "Where Did You Go?" the more abundantly clear that becomes.

http://the818.com

Postpartum depression is more than "not knowing what to expect." It is the inability to function, to feel, to do anything more than the bare minimum. For me, the postpartum depression after my second and third live births was incredibly overwhelming, so much so that I still don't talk about some of what I went through for various reasons (not wanting to relive those moments/thoughts, fearing judgment, not having the right words, etc).

For me, I can say without a doubt that my perfectionist nature sent me down the PPD path with my boys. As I viewed myself as a failure the first time around, I had to be perfect. When I found out how hard mothering actually was, I felt like a failure again, which sent me on a dangerous spiral of emotions, fear, depression and seclusion. If I had been kind to myself, allowed myself the failures that do accompany motherhood with the realization that I was human, not perfect, I can't say for certain whether or not I would have dealt with the PPD as badly as I did. I am glad to have survived ... and thrived ... despite my obstacles, even if some of them were self-inflicted. (This sentence makes me wonder if this is possibly a bad idea to be telling women that perfectionism causes PPD. So it was my fault? Hmm. Things to ponder.)

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )), from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ), is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

The problem when you've just had your first baby is that you don't know what's normal and what's not. A lot of women I know had mild depression and didn't realise it. Many women have a hard time adjusting to the huge change that a baby creates so it shouldn't come as a surprise that it can lead to depression. OB/GYNs and GPs should be trained to watch out for this, ask leading questions and intervene before the situation gets too dire.