How to Select the Right Divorce Attorney

How to Select the Right Divorce Attorney

How to Select the Right Divorce Attorney

My marriage ended in 2009.  Over the course of my divorce, I had the opportunity to work with four different divorce attorneys due to my attorney’s maternity leave and a change in the firm in which she was working.  Though I may have been exasperated with the inconsistency at the time, working with four different individuals helped me to see what qualities are truly important in a divorce lawyer.

When choosing a divorce attorney:


  • Ask for referrals from friends who have been divorced and from other professionals in the area.
  • Ask yourself if you want a clean divorce or a bloody divorce.   Both approaches will get you divorced but the first one is cost-effective and the other approach will cost you emotionally and financially.
  • Look for an attorney who is willing to be honest and direct with you when you are asking for something that is unreasonable (i.e., 100% of your husband’s pension and the deed to the marital home).


  • Base your decision solely on the attorney’s bedside manner.  This person is not your friend or your confidante.  You want someone who is direct and honest.
  • Look for a ‘shark’ – you may be emotional about your divorce, but you don’t need an attorney who is angry or vicious in order to get the divorce finalized.

Starting the divorce process can feel overwhelming and daunting.  Finding a competent legal advocate for yourself is critical to getting the divorce finalized so that you can move on with your life.  



Lauren Napolitano, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist