How Should We Mourn Michael Jackson?

Faced with the aggrandizing media spectacle that's ensued since Michael Jackson's death last week, I can't help but wonder if we aren't experiencing some kind of collective cultural amnesia. The sudden, overly reverential elevation of Jackson's body of work and life these past few days is an odd turn to say the least, and in that sense a fitting end to the highly unusual life of very peculiar -- and yes, uniquely talented -- man.

For many of us, what we felt upon hearing of Jackson's death and what we've felt in the days since are things much darker and more complex than the endless coverage of celebrity tributes and inconsolable fans would suggest. But I'd wager that if Jackson supporters and Jackson defamers can agree on anything, it's that time has not been kind to 'The King Of Pop'. Much like another King -- Elvis Presley -- before him, Jackson achieved an almost unfathomable level of fame early in life and then rapidly collapsed beneath the psychic weight of dwindling record sales and his own overindulged eccentricities, in the end retreating to his own iteration of Presley's Graceland, Neverland Ranch. Since that fall from superstardom in the early 1990s, any media attention directed at Jackson has arguably had more to do with his legal woes, prescription drug addictions, odd behavior, and ongoing physical metamorphosis (which the singer publicly attributed to treatments for Vitiligo and Lupus, though there's little doubt that Jackson engaged in extensive retooling of his facial structure by way of plastic surgery), than it had to do with his fading musical talent. And I don't deny that talent was there -- it was, clearly. I'm just not entirely sure how to go about reconciling my appreciation for the music of the Michael Jackson of the 70s and 80s with the pity and confounded revulsion I feel for the Michael Jackson of the 90s and 00s. 

That segmenting of the man... I of course realize it's a convenience, an attempt to disassociate his art from his curious and at times downright disturbing life, marred as it was by bizarre publicity stunts, outlandish affectations, and, in particular, a troubling obsession with children and childish things, which taken together served to make accusations of pedophilia seem all the more credible. The questions, suspicions, and halo of guilt lingered around Jackson long after he settled out of court with the 13 year old boy who publicly accused him of molestation in 1993 (reportedly to the tune of $22 million dollars). It's understandably difficult for many people to believe an innocent man would pay that kind of money to someone who falsely accused them of anything, let alone something as reputation-shattering as pedophilia. And so some of us can't help but feel that tension pulling at us, making the unrelenting media frenzy that seems hellbent on ennobling Jackson retrospectively practically unbearable. It's almost as if the hive-mind of the media actively wants to convince us that the past 15-20 years of dissipation, questionable behavior, and creative irrelevance didn't happen, and that we should all just pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, wash our brains together, and drink the damn kool aid already. But comments like these from MamaPop's post announcing Jackson's death provided a much different point of view:

I know he was talented and all that other stuff but to me once you
sexually abuse someone that does overshadow the other stuff. I also
think that he probably had a sad life and I am trying to focus on that
and the music today. That said. It is hard to do that and I am
struggling.

I feel as though it is fine to be sad that a part of our childhood is dead. Still, I guarantee if one of our kids was hurt by this man, it would infuriate any one of us if the world mourned his death this way.

I'm not sure how I feel about this - he was a fabulous entertainer and he had a screwed up childhood that we can blame Daddy Jackson for - thanks Dad. But he was also accused of some heinous activities with young children and the issues surrounding the birth and the raising of his own children are questionable.

This is surprising. But, somehow, I can't seem to mourn the death of a multimillionaire pedophile.

Yeeeeah. And in all honesty I'm still trying to figure out just what I feel about all of this, what to make of all of it. But I will say that earlier today, as I was going through clips about Jackson in preparation for writing this piece, my daughter -- who had not the slightest idea of who Michael Jackson was -- asked what I was writing about. So in response I told her to come sit next to me on our couch, and I played this for her:


Michael Jackson - Billie Jean (Official Music Video) - Click here for funny video clips

And really, what I felt most while watching that with my daughter was overwhelming sadness. It was easily the first time I'd seen the video in 10 years, and watching it gave me a startling jolt of nostalgia mixed with the strange sense of freshness that something long lost but unexpectedly rediscovered bears. I wasn't prepared for how handsome he is, or was, rather. How indescribably magnetic. In a way, I'd forgotten about that Michael Jackson. And as I watched I couldn't help but feel for the young, talented man Jackson was -- the one frozen for all time in that video, unmarred by terrible accusations, drug addiction, and the generalized trainwreck of his later years -- and think to myself that his two-decade-long degeneration from that bright star into what he eventually became is, indeed, something worthy of our collective sadness.

. . . . .
Tracey, aka Sweetney, writes about Pop Culture & Entertainment at MamaPop, and, sadly, has nothing funny to say in this byline today.

Comments

Beautiful

Thanks, for this thoughtul and moving essay, Sweetney. It's poetic and eloquent in its honesty, pacing and tender resolution. 

 

KimBlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

Wow, that's an incredible

Wow, that's an incredible compliment. Thank you, Kim.

Tracey Gaughran-Perez, aka Sweetney
CE, Entertainment & Culture
Author/Editor of Sweetney, MamaPop, & We Covet

Agreed

And as I watched I couldn't help but feel for the young, talented man
Jackson was -- the one frozen for all time in that video, unmarred by
terrible accusations, drug addiction, and the generalized trainwreck of
his later years -- and think to myself that his two-decade-long
degeneration from that bright star into what he eventually became is,
indeed, something worthy of our collective sadness.

This is what I've come to as well. It's sad to have watched someone's entire life rise and fall, and see how they had to leave. I feel it's what we're all struggling with as we come to grip with his death.

This was a wonderful article.

-----

What Goes On -- Putting a human face on mental illness

Just one thing...

I think you captured this brilliantly.

I too was startled to realize that my kids had no idea who Michael Jackson was and that his music would never be a big part in their lives the way it was in mine. I always thought he had another great wave in him and I find myself wishing that he had spent more of the last 20 years working on his music. I'm not sure that it was his talent that faded, but his focus on it.

Now we'll never know. 

 

- Lisse

@ Home in the World: International Adoption and Other Travels

So true on the complex mixed emotions

You have captured the complex mix of feelings that is true for many of us who grew up with the Jackson 5 and grew into adulthood with the rising-star Michael Jackson. Like you, I think a lot of the sadness for those of us who remember his entire career is for what he became, and what he now will not have the chance to rise above. And of course, some of our sadness is for the loss of another piece of our own pasts.  

vomviersen :: Kathi Wilson
http://rottweilers.brilliant-disguise.net/

The mourning

Indeed, it's been complex. This mourning. This mourning around our kids. I keep thinking of it as a delayed mourning for the man we lost so long ago.

And it's also been deeper, more personal mourning for those of us who grew up with his music. Almost worse than when a peer or icon of your time dies — watching someone so representative of our generation crash and burn and suffer and possibly cause others to suffer and then die. In this way, it's quite a blow. And yes, friggin' sad.

Very well said.  I've had

Very well said.  I've had my own difficulty with this for all the reasons you stated--and your discussion hits the nail right on the head.

I Can Relate

I am mourning the King of Pop as well. Your post described many of my own thoughts on the matter. I think I am mourning MY youth as well as Michael Jackson's death and that is why his passing has hit me so hard.

We spent some time this weekend listening to Jackson's songs on Pandora.com and the teenagers in the house couldn't get it. "It's as if one of the Jonas brothers died," I told them. They understood a little, then.

I think it's easier for us to separate the man from his music durng this time and we're centering on his contributions to that industry because he was a Pop legend.

I'm also sad because I feel that we never really knew the real Michael Jackson and will never understand how his personal life became so full of craziness. But I guess that's the way it is with most artists.

The song "Vincent", by Don McClean keeps running through my mind. It was a song about Vincent Van Gogh, another artist that whose life was riddled with personal turmoil. I think of Jackson when I hear the words "this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."

Thanks for the post and for letting me share my own thoughts on the matter.

www.windysblog.com

Perfectly Put

Sweetney, I totally resonate with all of this, and I love what you concluded with. It's a peculiar case of a peculiar man that's left us with vexed reactions - on the one hand sadness and on the other disdain. I definitely feel sadness and loss when I look at the achievements of the young Jackson. And I think it's fair to separate the two "Jacksons" -- to mourn the loss of the MUSIC, the AGE, and to acknowledge the reality that he was/became an eccentric, pedophilic man. While we have to acknowledge this older MJ, I think it's fair to say most of us (I, at least) are choosing at this time to celebrate the artistic, cultural legacy he left us, and to mourn the loss of an age long gone, and now officially never to return. His death really marks the end of that "golden" musical era. That's what's sad for me. 

 

 

-- Haley-O blogs at http://cheatymonkey.com.

A human being has died

And that's sad, because the death of a person, any person, is always sad. But I can't attach any more significance to the death of a celebrity person than I attach to any other death.

--

My mame is Beth Engel. I've been running my own online business, Epic Merchandise, where I sell personalized, engraved gifts, since 2003.

Michael Jackson Overload

Last night I was watching AC360 and they spent 50 minutes talking about Michael Jackson and the last ten minutes of the broadcast talking about other news such as our troops coming home from Iraq.

While I am sad that anyone has to die before their time, I’m concerned that some news organizations (like CNN) have allowed their newscasts to become dominated by all things Michael Jackson.

I’m just wondering if MJ’s life is more significant than our men and women who have died in Iraq?

Or what will matter more to our lives, finding out who the real parents of MJ’s children are, or finding out how we can cut down on healthcare costs and our dependency on foreign oil ?

Amen

It's been (sadly) kind of liberating to hear Michael Jackson's music and see his videos without the spectre of his crazy/tragic/creepy/pick your adjective persona of the last several years hanging over them.

I listened to an a capella recording of "Rock With You" that I found somewhere on the internet and was struck by the force of his voice.  I watched some videos on VH1 Classic and just enjoyed the heck out of them for the first time since I was a tween.

It's brought back a lot of memories that he provided the soundtrack for, and that's the best way to mourn him that I can think of.

 

Tiny Mantras
http://tzt.blogspot.com

Writearm
http://www.writearm.com

Continuing to mourn...

I've never before read a blog, but now that Michael Jackson has been dead for a month and I'm still sorrowful and complexly disturbed by the spectacle and my own reactions to all of it, I was grateful to find this very thoughtful post and the excellent responses to it.  I am not alone! I'm finding that mourning MJ is something that cannot be discussed with just anyone, and yesterday evening in trying to explain it to someone, found myself the butt of many snide and snarky remarks, and when I pressed on, incredulous reprimands.  Oh well. 

There is something I've been thinking about  and it is that I don't think I'm convinced that he was a pedophile.  I compare the claims he made about his appearance, that he'd only had two rhinoplasties, etc. --and how completely impossible it was to believe him--with his open admission that he had young boys in his bedroom even after the 1993 episode, and his attemps to convince that this was ok, that it was loving and innocent.  In the first instance, he demonstrates an awareness that folks would find something wrong with wanting to change yourself into a white man and so he tries to deny it, however unconvincingly. In the second instance he seems to have have no awareness of how it could be viewed, he seens to think that he can make himself understood, and does not even try to deny it, but instead defends it.  For heaven's sake, he holds hands with the boy on camera! And after a long trial, he was completely cleared.  Someone undeniably out of touch, unimaginably removed from common opinion, political correctness & co., for oh so many reasons, but perhaps not guilty of such a dreadful inclination.   If you read or listen to the speech he gave at the Oxford Union at Oxford University in 2001, at least for me, it becomes a little harder to believe that his interest in children was sinister.  Of course one might cynically assume that this was PR, windowdressing, etc. but it's not a very well known bit of Jacksoniana (it's only got 14,000+ hits on YouTube, for MJ that's negligible). Find it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFDkyglJYk4

When I make these arguments to myself, I'm thinking: yikes! how much effort you're expending on this--what?  Cultural figure?  Headline grabber?  Cult hero?  And this brings me to the other thing which I think contributes to my own dis-ease with this event and its aftermath.  The unknowability factor.  A figure we "know" from our visceral responses to his art (which was considerable) and then this other stuff, the media and all its cynicism and distortion and absurdity.  And we're trying to talk about and understand someone who is forever hidden behind these scrims of publicity and image making, some that he sought out and contributed and the rest, well, whatever it is.  Most of the time I'm not bothered by the mpossibility of knowing anything about such distant figures, but death compels us toward reaching some kind of verdict, to find some sort of closure, to stop sorrowing.   But we're just picking through this garbage trying to assemble a coherent picture and we most likely will never be able to. Imagine how we would think of John F. Kennedy if he had been a president in the last 2 decades?  Which presentation would be true?

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