How Women Who Don't Take Maternity Leave Damage Themselves and Other Moms

There is absolutely no reason why we shouldn't have a mandatory paid maternity leave for at least 3-4 months in this country. What we have is a travesty that pits women against each other for what they "choose" to do (because when the rent is due, working is a choice, right?) and doesn't put the onus on the real culprit: corporate greed that goes unregulated by a government that espouses a pro-family and pro-child, but does little to make sure the average woman can relax for a second after giving birth. I have a friend who was denied benefits after her second child because she "hadn't worked there long enough." In reality, she had worked there for two years, but had started through a temp agency. Those details really didn't matter to her infant, but our policies failed to safeguard his right to a calmer and more focused parent when he was born.

I don't think we need to get so salty about this. She's simply suggesting we respect and honor the tremendous feat of childbearing. I agree, I think mothers at times (not only at childbirth) act as martyrs and ignore the toll childbearing/ motherhood takes on us. I for one know the difference with 3 kids and varying LOA periods ranging from 6wks-3yrs. There is definitely a difference, in not only how you feel but the bond that you build with your baby during the first few weeks. Admittedly, I felt pressured each time to rapidly recover so that I could be self-sufficient and prove something (not sure to who) but I did feel enormous pressure to "get back to normal" as quickly as possible. I mean day 1 from the hospital following my most recent delivery this past July, I were at BuyBuyBaby shopping...ridiculous! And with that aside, I can't begin to tell you how my martyrdom has influenced my husband's perception of my role... I think rather than taking my requests for help seriously or validating that I burn out or get overwhelmed, he thinks I am whining or being unreasonable. And as much as I'd like to consider him inconsiderate...I know that I've had much to do with his perception for the very point of this post. If you can take the time take it. If not, try your best to rest while you can because you'll need it.

Everyone needs to make the decision for themselves. Some women do not have the option to not work. Especially, if they are the sole provider for their children and/or even their own parents. I agree that motherhood is sacred, but instead of judging others we should extend a hand towards them. Perhaps, someone could write an article entitled: "How Women Whom Are Unable to Take a Maternity Leave, Need Our Support and Not Our Judgement".

Being a Mom means making decisions for yourself and your babies. Anyone who believes that the office won't live without them hasn't ever known anyone who died. I believe some of our "need to connect" as women comes from a measure of "self importance" and "martyring". This is not written for the sole providers or I had no choice women. (Except, we do all have a choice.) There is no email, no proposal, no conference, no phone call that is more important than that new life in your arms. Being a Mother is a sacred job. We should all treat it as such.

Wow, must be nice to judge other women for not being able to give themselves three months off for maternity leave. I am the sole provider of my family. My disabled husband cannot work and I am am paid hourly to take care of the mentally disabled for minimum wage. Which means the minute I can successfully walk around after my delivery it's back to work I go. Otherwise, my family doesn't eat. It has nothing to do with wanting to be "Employee of the Month" or wanting to be overly-dedicated to my job. It has to do with taking care of my entire family. What rubbish.

I feel very fortunate to live in Canada where we have 50 weeks of maternity leave. It's a blessing.

I totally agree - I didn't give myself a chance to stop when I had my daughter almost 4 years ago and I feel like my body is still trying to recover (I get sick easier, tired faster, etc than I did before) because I never truly rested.

I am debating on my length of maternity leave now. My boss has firmly asked that I still be connected with the work realm. Which is going to be a little hard, being I am on maternity leave, taking short term disability, I thought for sure that was illegal.

Still, I know I will be checking emails and phone calls excessively. As I work salary AND commission. I think of what I will miss. Not only that, short term is only paying 80% of my regular salary. Which will be a huge chunk out of my normal pay. Thanks for sharing this. I found it interesting. Beautiful family by the way!!

I am Croatian, and when I had my first child my mom would yell at me for checking my emails and returning calls to the office. I took 12 weeks off, but really i was online and connected the entire 12 weeks. Then with #2, I told myself I was quitting. I really didn't check my emails too often. In my head I had already quit.

You are right, our bodies do need time to heal and deal with all the extra stress. I took the time with #2 and my recovery was soooo much quicker. We need to learn that none of us are irreplacable at work. The reality is, the company will go on without you. So take the time you need and deserve (and the time your baby deserves) to focus on your family and yourself.

That's interesting that the Indian tradition is to let the mother rest for 40 days postpartum. I know that Chinese and Korean cultures have a similar ritual for the first month. When my mother gave birth to me in the US, she could only take a week off of work. Now in her 60s, she still talks about how hard that was.